Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Bad Girls With Perfect Faces by Lynn Weingarten

3.5 Stars

“No one thinks the people they love are monsters. Because love is the biggest liar of all.” 

Since it’s Young Adult Week, what better time than the present to post a review for a book I read LAST FLIPPING YEAR. Man I suck. 

Anyway, since:

(1) I read this eleventy weeks ago; and 

(2) it’s a mystery, I can’t say much about it. 

Please note that:

(1) I am a lover of the teenie bopper book so my Starzzzzzz might be different than a non-teenie-bopping-thriller-connoisseur; and 

(2) it featured my pretty much favorite topic ever . . . . . 

There’s your caveat emptor. Don’t blame me if you don’t lurrrrrv it. 

The Mermaid by Christina Henry

2 Stars

When I heard Christina Henry was going to take on P.T. Barnum, my reaction pretty much looked like this . . . .

Only with more facial hair.

I will 100% admit my hopes were extraordinarily high. I was banking on something D.A.R.K. since that has been Henry’s forte as well as the way she made me crossover into stalker superfan status with not only her spin on Alice but also Captain Hook. Although there was an obvious take on the mermaid legend that could have been presented . . . . .

I was ready for this author to take a less-traveled road regarding this captive mermaid. And for a minute I thought she had . . . .

“You can’t climb out if someone takes your jar of sand away.”

So good, right?????

But then . . . . .

A kissing book?!?!?!?!?!

I still anxiously await her next release.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!

Monday, July 30, 2018

The Way To Game The Walk Of Shame by Jenn P. Nguyen

2.5 Stars

You’re all familiar with the “Walk of Shame” right . . . . .

Oh wait, wrong genre. This book was about the other kind . . . .

Meet Taylor. She’s gone through high school pretty much like this . . . .

When she gets waitlisted to Columbia rather than immediately accepted, she doesn’t take it well and ends up not only . . . .

But also??????

Or at least that’s what the entire school thinks when word gets out that Taylor woke up next to none other than super player Evan . . . .

Now Taylor just wants everyone to shut up about her – or even go back to thinking she was the “Ice Queen” like before her not-really-a-one-night-stand-one-night-stand. The way she thinks that can happen? Enter into a fake relationship with Evan until they are yesterday’s news.

I’m telling you if this were a Netflix movie I would watch the crap out of it. Actually the way I ended up reading this was because I got put on an eternal waitlist for To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before once I discovered that was a Netflix movie and I wanted instant gratification in the form of YA romance so I checked this one out instead. Obviously this wasn’t a life-changer and the writing wasn’t real great either. Buuuuuuuut, I enjoy the fake relationship trope enough that I found it to be a cute little couple hour time waster and . . . .

I now declare Young Adult Week on Goodreads officially kicked off!

Sister of Mine by Laurie Petrou

3.5 Stars

Have you ever wondered what happened after the conclusion was reached that . . . . .

If so, Sister of Mine may very well be the book for you! This is the story of sisters Penny and Hattie, an abusive husband that needed to go away and never-ending familial debt. Obviously not much else can be said about this book without taking a risk of ruining everything for everyone. I will say that the approach to the storytelling was a bit different from what I’m used to (which worked for me, but might not work for others). I also found the two sisters to be very reminiscent of women who might live in Grey Gardens, just without so many other tenants . . . . .

3.5 Stars, but rounding up because I would most definitely pick up the next thing Laurie Petrou puts out.

ARC provided by Crooked Lane in exchange for an honest review.

Friday, July 27, 2018

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

2 Stars

Lemme go ahead and gif the ever living shit out of this in order to prove to the trolls immediately that I am stoopid and not worthy of their efforts.

So as you can see in the placeholder “review” below, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo has been monumentally well-received by my Goodreads’ friends. And then there’s me . . . . .

If you know me you’ve probably been just as surprised as I have that 2018 has somehow become my Summer of Chick Lit. I’ve ventured away from the porny and the stabby a tad more than usual and have come to truly enjoy what I have dubbed the “Mom Com.” But Evelyn Hugo??????

It was pretty extra when it came to being chicky.

And pleeeeeeeeease for the love of all things that is holy don’t tell me “I read this wrong.” I most certainly did not. I totally got the messages that were being presented about being true to yourself and owning your sexuality and girl power and double standards and whathaveyou. The problem I had?????

Was this book intended for people of my mother/grandmother’s generation? Or does the author truly think we are so stupid that she felt she needed to beat us over the head rather than use any form of subtlety while making her points?

Not to mention that Evelyn herself????

I did not enjoy her at all - and please note I'm a girl who can get down with stalkers and serial killers so that's really saying something about her lack of redeeming features.

And THEN. Oh lordy be. THEN we not only got presented one “twist” that made me go . . . .

But also a grand finale . . . . .

Sorry to all my friends for (once again) being a disappointment to you all. What can I say?????

The saddest thing about this whole experience is I totally returned Maybe In Another Life by this author because my friend’s ratings were so low and got this one instead. I think I made the wrong decision and might have enjoyed the other one. I’ll be putting it back on Mt. TBR Pile.



Thursday, July 26, 2018

Barrel Fever by David Sedaris

3 Stars

This summer the bridge that makes my commute easy breezy and beautiful like a Cover Girl commercial is undergoing construction which has resulted in a Kelly that pretty much looks like this while trying to make her way into the city . . . . .

I decided for my own mental health, maybe I should try and audio book and what better person to choose than my beloved David. What can I say?????

Barrel Fever proved that I am most definitely an “essays” rather than a “stories” type of gal and earns a paltry 3 Stars due to that fact. However, mediocre Sedaris is still waaaaaaaay better than no Sedaris at all – and also better than the alternative . . . . .

Happy commuting, everyone : )

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Girls' Night Out by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke

1.5 Stars

Yeeeesh. This one did not work for me AT. ALL. The story here is about three 40-somethings who take a girls’ trip in order to reconnect. There’s drama between two of them due to the fact that they hit the bigtime with their company “BloMe” (okay I’ll give credit where it’s due to that name) when they invented something every woman didn’t even know they needed until they saw it . . . .

Now one wants to sell and the other doesn’t. Both because of reasons that come out that I didn’t give a rip about. The other friend is there . . . . because I guess the author thought she needed a third wheel/someone to exchange dialogue with about what a dumb bitch the one who goes missing is????

Anyway, as I just said one of these cardboard cutouts idiots goes missing and the book is about trying to find her.

Warning for anyone who might be interested in going on a trip with me – there’s a pretty simple code you should respect and it goes a lil’ summin’ like . . . . .

If you don’t follow it?????

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

All These Beautiful Strangers by Elizabeth Klehfoth

4 Stars

Dear All These Beautiful Strangers . . . .

Not even kidding. This was exactly what I was hoping for when my friend Michelle’s Review popped up on my feed. I mean let’s face it, while I would looooooooooooove to be able to say I spend summer break like this . . . . .

If I were every to vacay in the Hamptons I assume it would be more like this . . . .

(Sidenote: I totally read a book that gave me a serious Grey Gardens vibe. Maybe one day I’ll get around to reviewing it. Sidenote 2: If you haven’t watched Documentary Now yet you should immediately log off and go do it . . . . and then send me Amazon gift cards as a thank you for introducing so much awesome into your life.)

Okay where was I? Oh yeah, that I’m poor so my summertime fun actually is something like this . . . .

All that being said - I want to ESCAPE when it comes to July reads. If that cover doesn’t sell you that you’re in for a YA beachy good time, I don’t know what will. I mean just look at it . . . . .

Did you look at it???? Okay then.

What better way to spend a summery timesuck than with a bunch of privileged white kids? AmIrightoramIright????

The story here focuses on Grace, a richie rich boarding school type of gal who has just received an invitation to begin the initiation process in order to become a member of a supersecret club known as The Skulls . . . .

Whoops. I mean the A’s. Then you have a second storyline regarding Grace’s mother and Grace trying to figure out if she (a) ran away from home or (b) was murdered – dun dun dunnnnnnnnn! It’s only a matter of time before Grace starts to realize . . . .

I’m pretty sure I need to go put my dinosaur back in his pen and finally check out Gossip Girl. I know I know . . . . .

I am old and was still Twiharding superbad and missed all the gossipy good times. I shall rectify it post haste!