Friday, August 30, 2019

Summerlings by Lisa Howorth


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2 Stars

I wanted to read Summerlings for the cover as soon as I saw it via my local indie book store’s weekly email. Period. I did sneak a peek at what I was getting into before my turn came around at the library and thought a story about a group of kids that takes place in Cold War era D.C. during the dog days of summer would probably be right up my alley. I started reading and could hear Richard Dreyfus’ voice in my head narrating to me a la Stand by Me. Unfortunately, it lost me almost immediately.

The premise revolves around the kids attempting to plan a block party for their “Whitman’s Sampler” type of neighborhood in order to bring everyone together (and hopefully earn them an invite to the De Haans’ pool). They also hope they’ll finally get revenge on the local bully. Oh, and there’s a spider infestation happening. The kids are supposed to be between 8 and 10 years old - and sometimes it seems they are, like when it comes to their snappy comebacks . . . . .





But then they do things like wait until 11:00 to sneak out at night and break into a museum and . . . . .



Not to mention the glaring reality that despite there being a lot of various plotlines going on per the description above, there just wasn’t much to this story. And the dialogue??? At times the only way I could describe it would be . . . . .



So mad props to whoever designed this cover. It’s sure to sell some copies. As for the content? Aside from the very very very end of the story, I would probably market it as Young Adult and roll the dice that kids might want to read about life in the late ‘50s.

If you do read/do like this one or are looking for a trip on the wayback machine via a young narrator, I highly recommend picking up some Gary D. Schmidt. He’s pretty remarkable.

Thursday, August 29, 2019

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead


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2.5 Stars

What I picture the reaction of the masses will be when they see this rating . . . . .



In case you aren’t familiar, very briefly The Nickel Boys is “the story of two boys sentenced to a hellish reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida.” It is based on a place that actually existed and tells of the “teaching” that went on there. The school was segregated, so the two boys who are the focus of this story are black. Everyone and their dog has been reading this. Even Barry . . . .



And then here comes me . . . . .



I’m not going to get super detailed and pick apart this book because I read it wrong didn’t hate it. At all. It just didn’t really make me feel all the things it was supposed to make me feel. And the ending?????



Again . . . .



I get that the ending was supposed to make me believe in hope and YES WE CAN and feel all the feels. But I have always been pretty clear that I don’t like to be emotionally manipulated – especially when 99.9999% of the story was supposed to be based on facts. You can’t throw in the unfathomable and expect me to swallow it down.

Maybe this would have worked better for me if it had been completely non-fiction rather than historical fiction based on reality. I’m almost certain the novella length did me no favors. Or heck, maybe Colson Whitehead is just not the author for me. He blew me away with The Underground Railroad, but also wrote the most boring zombie book in the history of the universe and now I feel mediocre about this one. I’ll still most likely pick up his next release since the library is only a couple of blocks away, but I’ll lower my expectations from this point forward.

That being said, I agree this is an important story to tell. I would highly encourage high school teachers to recommend it to their students. While the plot may be dark, details have been spared so I believe older teens would be/should be a target demographic for this one. After all, they are the ones who can change the world and they need to remember to . . . .

Make a career of humanity. Make it a central part of your life.

If you are looking for another book (I don’t feel comfortable calling it “true” since it appears the author may have pulled a James Frey regarding his “nonfictional” life story) of the atrocities that happen to boys in a juvie home that then follow them throughout their lives, I can’t recommend Sleepers enough – either the book or the film.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Summer of '69 by Elin Hilderbrand

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4 Stars

Maybe, just maybe, this summer will end up being one that people write songs about.


^^^^That’s what comes to mind for 99.9999% of you, right? It may have taken 370 pages, but at least the pink elephant in the room was finally addressed ; )

Elin Hilderbrand don’t need homegirl’s help selling her books so why don’t we just get to the giffing????

The story here is exactly what the title says – about the summer of 1969. The cover is a bit misleading, however, because the focus isn’t on . . . .



But rather on various family members as they make their annual pilgrimage to Nantucket for the summer. We congregate at matriarch Exalta’s home. Oh Exalta. She’s just so awful that you know she’ll end up with an epic redemption arc and you’re going to fall in love with her before it’s all over . . . .



Then we have the Levines. There’s momma Kate, who spends most of her time . . . .


(Can I just take a second to say this is my favorite gif of all time. She’s my spirit animal.)

Ever since only son Tiger had to go do this . . . .



Oldest daughter Blair is having a bit of a rough summer . . . . .



While her husband is getting ready to fake the for the moon landing down in Texas with these guys . . . . .



Middle daughter Kirby has opted to spend her break down the way at the Vineyard in order to spread her wings a bit away from the family and perhaps practice what she preaches when it comes to equal rights . . . .



And then there’s the youngest, Jessica. Her 13th summer will be one she doesn’t forget . . . .



There’s even a cameo by Teddy Kennedy. Y’all remember what he did that summer, right????



This was another poolside read. I actually went home burned after realizing there was not enough sunblock in the universe to save my pasty ass, but there was zero chance I was going to let real life interrupt my time in 1969. And to think I was actually annoyed when I heard about the release of this book too because I was wanting a sequel (who am I, even????) for Winter In Paradise. I was about to get all angrified that Summer of ‘69 was coming out instead. But I sucked it up, put away Shelby’s Trademarked Butthurt Form and went ahead and got on the library wait list. I haven’t had a summer this chicky in as long as I can remember. First with these books and then . . . .





As Martha Stewart would say . . . .



Wait, that’s Martha 2.0. I’m talking about original Martha . . . .



My apologies to anyone without an unlimited data plan. Good thing the month is almost over, right????

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

The Arrangement by Robyn Harding


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3 Stars




So, you know, 100% a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby story.

Meet Natalie . . . .



Barely able to keep her head above water by waiting tables while attending art school, she really finds herself in a bind when she’s fired from her job and her roommates start demanding all the back rent/bill money she owes them. Welcome to the SUGAR BOWL! A potentially lucrative new venture a classmate introduces Natalie to where wealthy gentlemen pay attractive young women for their companionship. It’s there Natalie meets (and promptly falls for) Gabe. But rather than this . . . .



This is a story that goes a little more like this . . . . .



Despite the fact that this sits on a shelf named “Guilty Pleasure” – please note it is only due to lack of a better term . . . . .



It is, however, a Lifetime Stabs and Stabbies for Women type of drama. The story (aside from the Sugar Daddy angle) isn’t particularly fresh, the characters are all halfway developed and fully uggo, and the twists and turns aren’t too hard to spot. But that’s the reason it works. Basically . . . .



I saw more than one mom at the pool with this over the summer. We all a bunch of trashy hos!

Monday, August 26, 2019

Talk To Me by John Kenney

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4 Stars




Ted Grayson was a trustworthy news anchor for more than 20 years. So why does Talk To Me open with him attempting to kill himself via not pulling the cord on his parachute after jumping from a plane? Well, it was a little like this . . . . .



But with the addition of calling a fill-in make-up lady a derogatory term. In the age of . . . . .



Ted’s outburst was about to go viral . . . .

Forty-eight hours in and it was at more than two million views. By week’s end it would be five million. The comments were unrelenting and savage. Some were sarcastic. Some were funny. Some suggested he should kill himself. By Wednesday the comments section would be disabled by YouTube customer service, in large part because a repeat commenter was threatening to kill Ted. The troll gave Ted’s Bedford address. The Bedford Police Department put a patrol car in front of Ted’s house.

In a world where comments are King and websites called “scheisse” - ran by uggos like this . . . . .



Exist to prove . . . . .

Fake news? There was no such thing. There was only what you could get people to click on. End of story.

Just how much will Ted (or should Ted, depending on your feelings for him throughout the book) have to lose before the masses are satisfied?

461 ratings on Goodreads for one of the smartest, timeliest books I can remember reading . . . .



Not that I’m any better than the next. I spend most of my life reading trashy romances or farfetched thrillers and posting gif-filled reviews. At least I don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, I guess ; )

But seriously. Selections like this are what the not-scared-t0-deal-with-real-stuff Book Club participants should be picking up (not that Reece Witherspoon’s choices aren’t usually a decent way to pass the time, but those are probably more for Wine Club with a Side of Book groups). This one will definitely get you talking about the issues.

If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend the non-fiction So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

The Drowning by J.P. Smith

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3.5 Stars

Twenty-one years ago little Joey Proctor was left alone on a raft in the middle of a lake at summer camp by his counselor Alex and told to swim back. He was never seen again. You know how that ends, right????



Well, maybe not exactly like that but there’s definitely some sort of blast from the past going on in the form of pranks and creepy almost-interactions and all signs point to Joey. The only question is how high will be the body count get before Alex can figure out what exactly is going on?

Oh, this was fun times. I love when I don’t see all the twists coming and I love it even more when the pacing is so quick that it doesn’t give me much time to even hypothesize. I really loved that douche La’Rouche Alex didn’t somehow grow up to be some upstanding citizen, but instead a philandering uggo of a real estate developer in NYC – which may provide a bit of a sense of déjà vu to some of you and have you hoping he would eventually what was coming to him. (I can only assume his mouth must look like a tiny little butthole . . . .



because that wasn’t included in his description.)

If you’re the type of dickhead who can’t sit through Game of Thrones because it isn’t realistic that Samwell Tarly would still be fat . . . . .



This definitely isn’t the book for you. All the fun comes in the form of it being completely over-the-top. If you choose to read it, I can almost guaranty a polar reaction. Either you’re going to embrace the crazy, or you’re gonna pull a Ron . . . . .



This is a beachy read. A poolside read. A Thank-Jeebus-It’s-The-Weekend-Now-Where-Did-I-Leave-That-Box-Of-Wine type of read. It’s not going to change your life, but it might help you . . . .



And to all the other authors who have been attempting revenge stories recently?????


Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Faker by Sarah Smith


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3 Stars

Before anyone gets all up in arms about the 3 Stars I’m giving this one, let’s get things clear. I use the Goodreads’ rating system. Therefore, 3 Stars = “I liked it.” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a 3 Star rating. Also, I read this one here . . . .



So momma sho ‘nuff wasn’t complaining. When it comes to romance novels, they either click with me or they don’t. I’m not the world’s biggest fan of hate to love tropes (not to mention co-workers becoming romantically involved while continually acknowledging the fact that their company has a no fraternization policy), the premise of Emmie being a “professional faker” was a bit of a stretch (she didn’t seem to really fake much other than pretending she wasn’t physical attracted to Tate), the “we should take it slow” to . . . .



(and clearing a drawer out immediately to boot), and the worst thing of all . . . not being physically attracted (like AT ALL) to the description of the male lead. I don’t care how many times Emmie tried to convince he was some sort of Norse god – in my head he remained . . . .



And, in case you aren’t aware . . . .



I did appreciate that this remained pretty light throughout and the added drama (because there always has to be a little added drama, right???) was not super angsty and drawn out. I also remain in love with these covers – no matter what some trolly little “author” (*cough blogger cough*) has to say about the reasons why. For the record: #1 NO, I am not so dense that I think Young Adult stories will be contained within the pages and #2 NO, I am not embarrassed to read smut in public. I am the woman who had the following experience:

*SOUND OF ALARM WHEN ATTEMPTING TO LEAVE LIBRARY*

Pornbrarian: Ma’am? Oh, ma’am???
(Should have murdered her right there, it’s MISS mother*&^%$#!)

Me: Am I doing that?

Pornbrarian: Yes, sorry. NUTS DIDN’T CHECK OUT PROPERLY. WILL YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO THE COUNTER WITH NUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTSSSSSSS????


If you aren’t familiar, here’s Nuts . . . . .



That was also the last time my youngest ever went to the library with me.

So not only do I call it the Pornbrary – literally to EVERYONE in my life – I also don’t “hide” behind the Kindle and am more than happy to respond to the question of “what are you reading today?” when approached at the fancy coffee maker with answers like . . . . .



Keep up the cutesy cartoon covers Berkley. I love ‘em. Just watch out about these leading men . . . .



ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. It don’t get much more honest than spilling my own tea all over the intertubes, kids.