Tuesday, August 20, 2019

The Helpline by Katherine Collette


42201884
3 Stars

“You’re not a serial killer, are you? Because I’ve often wondered.”
When the insurance company Germaine worked for “gave her the flick” she opted for – well, pretty much the only job available to her – answering calls at the Senior Citizens Helpline. Germaine’s dream is to fully automate the system, streamlining the requests so only the ones that should truly be handled by her department make it in. That’s because . . . .



It’s been that way her entire life. At one point the teacher even had her tested because it was believed she might be gifted. But – nope – turns out she was just . . . .



Like most of these stories, it can be concluded that Germaine is perhaps on the spectrum, or perhaps just really eccentric. It’s a given that by the end of the story she will learn to interact with other humans, at least on some level . . . .

“Relationships between numbers are much simpler than relationships between people. People are unpredictable; you never know what they’re going to do, you never know what they’re going to say. But numbers? Numbers are reliable.”

This one didn’t quite knock my socks off, which had me a little concerned these stories might be becoming “the next Gone Girl” for me . . . .



But I think it was simply a case of me not connecting with Germaine. I pretty much had this reaction to her . . . .



She was just so OBTUSE! Oh, it was infuriating to me. Also . . . .



Unfortunately for Katherine Collette, my Grinch heart most likely had already grown too many sizes for Eleanor and Don and Nina and Andrew in order to fully embrace the quirks of Sudoku-obsessed Germaine. I did fall in love with her mother a bit, though . . .

“She’s your only cousin. Family’s important, no matter how unlikeable they are. Plus, I already said you’d go. It’s okay, you don’t have to buy a present. I’m getting them a Ugandan goat. Well, not them. I’m getting a Ugandan village a goat, and I’ll give Kimberly the certificate.”

“Sure you’re not just printing a certificate and pocketing the money?”

“Shut up, Germaine. That was a one-off thing.”

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