Thursday, September 22, 2016

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North - Art by Eric Henderson


23732096
1 Star

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS 42,000 GIFS AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE ONLY DISSENTING OPINION ABOUT THIS SERIES THAT EXISTS.
My reaction to The Unbearable Squirrel Girl(™ Sam Quixote – Don’t let the 3 Star review fool you, Sam must have suffered a head injury when he rated the first issue and has now come to his senses) . . . .



Keep y’all nasty Kool-Aid over there because there is NO WAY I’m jumping on this bandwagon.

I knew things weren’t going to go my way from page uno . . . .



Which had me questioning . . . .



And a couple of pages later when Squirrel Girl’s faithful sidekick Tippy Toe asked . . .



There I was - ♪♫♪♫ All by myseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelf ♪♫♪♫ . . . .



I should have recognized the problem before I even requested this from the library because . . . .

“It's the start of a brand-new set of adventures starring the nuttiest and most upbeat super hero in the world!”

Which translates to “this new superhero isn’t real much of a superhero at all, but is instead a MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL” and if you know me at all you know I pretty much have a zero tolerance with respect to inviting those kind of people into my life. The exceptions being . . . .



And . . . . .



This was supposed to be funny – it was not. I was under the impression my lovaaaaaah Deadpool was actually in it rather than just contributing tiny cells containing “Deadpool’s Guide to Super Villains” stats – so there’s another fail. Her superpowerish way of defeating bad guys was shoving a whole mess of squirrels into their mouth and that was just . . . .



And her supersuit??????



^^^^^That looks like she’s crawling out of a giant doo doo.

Basically it seems to me the only redeeming quality Squirrel Girl has is that she’s not scantily clad, but I’m old and confused and was under the impression that the new generation thinks women should dress however they choose . . . .



Guess I was mistaken.

Anyway, everyone loved it but me so I obviously read it wrong. If you’re looking for a character who is pretty much like this 100% of the time . . . .



You’ll probably like it just fine too.

If you’re like me you’ll make sure to bring snacks and booze before coming to my shame corner and then we can talk about how this was the only good thing to come from this abomination . . . .



And then we’ll wait for the day when poor Squirrel Girl’s 15 minutes of fame are up . . . .

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