Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris

1 Star
My first warning should have been . . .

“The 2016 debut bloggers can't stop raving about. Perfect for fans of The Girl on the Train.”

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By the time I was finished, there was only one thing that was going to cure my misery . . .

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Grace was a big muckity muck – living a jet set lifestyle as a buyer for Harrod’s. That all changed, however, when she met George Clooney Jack. Jack swept Grace into a whirlwind romance, promised her not only the home of her dreams but the opportunity to quit her job and have her sister (who was born with Down’s Syndrome) move in with them rather than live at her special school, and so the two were married in just six months. On the eve of her wedding everything changed for Grace. Because she was an effing IDIOT. Actually, let me back up a bit.

*insert rewind noise*

Despite Jack’s concerns, Grace insisted that her sister Millie stand as maid of honor. But on the couple’s wedding day Millie suffered from a terrible slip and fall down the stairs breaking her leg and removing her from the wedding festivities entirely (*dun dun dunnnnnnnnn*). That was page 64 and when I began screaming . . .

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Or Grace – you get the point.

The remaining 300 pages consisted of more quality Lifetime Television for Women drama until finally Millie, despite having dialogue written as if she had the mentality of a toddler, came up with a fix for alllllllllll of Grace’s problems . . . .

Behind Closed Doors is easily the worst thing I’ve read in 2016. I should thank Shelby for sending this to me, but I kind of feel like she April Fooled me a month late. Whatever the case, I’m moving on to better things – namely porn . . .

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