Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Quinn by J.C. Cliff

3 Stars
A couple of weeks ago my feed blew up with a whole lotta posts that looked a little something like this . . .

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So, allow me a minute to address the pink elephant in the room and then we’ll get on with the show:

It didn’t take long to figure out that this was another case of an author responding to a “negative” review (negative used VERY loosely here since from what I’ve seen it was a pretty average rating/review that caused the kerfuffle) and getting a poopton of backlash for it. Since this is MY review space, here’s what I think: I think every reader is entitled to their opinion – ESPECIALLY when it comes to posting on a SOCIAL MEDIA site. As I’ve said ‘til I’m blue in the face, anyone who thinks they’re something to write home about for being a “Goodreads Famous” reviewer should have their head examined.

Yes, there are reviewers here who have huge followings, but unknown/little known authors probably only sell a handful more books due to those reviews. In addition, the authors who lose their shit on a STRANGER’S review space in the vast wasteland which is the interwebs are most likely never going to be the next J.K. Rowling when it comes to booksales to begin with. And you know what else? Depending on the reviewer I might be MORE inclined to read their 1 Star choices over their 5 Stars. If you’re on Goodreads more than a minute you’ll notice that some reviewers love EVERYTHING, some hate everything and some mix things up. You’ll also notice 1 Star reviews/5 Star reviews populate months or sometimes even years in advance of a book actually being released. That’s why the average user rating system means diddly shit when it comes to most hardcore users choosing a book. Same goes for 1 Star “retaliatory” reviews. A reviewer’s space/rating is whatever they personally want to put there (up to the point where it breaks Goodreads’ TOS which I’m not even going to bother addressing since I would still like to be allowed to play in this sandbox). Something that doesn’t work AT ALL, though? Publishers who demand no less than 3 Star reviews be posted . . .

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Obviously all of the superbadawful is what put this book on my radar. I figured since I’ve now read like at least 20 pornos I am officially an expert and should read this one as well. Also by some miracle I was gifted this by a book fairy you would NEVER expect . . .

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Once I started looking into reviews of people who actually had read (or at least started to read) Quinn, I noticed a lot of people were “offended” by either the leading male or the plot in general. That’s what’s great about books - what works for one reader might not work for another and since I pretty much get offended by nothing it didn’t take more than a gander at that cover for me to check out the blurb . . .

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What did I find? Mafia princess – mercenary for hire – secrets of the past – things that may not be as they appear AND smexy times?????

So let’s address a few issues other readers had. As far as the leading male - yes, he started out as a pig who made a habit of picking up broads at the local watering hole by saying things like this . . .

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Not a direct quote, but nothing is left to the imagination that this guy is NOT the guy who is interested in more than a wham bam thanky mam. But to his defense???

“Why do women do this shit? I’m honest and upfront with each and every one of them, telling them every damn time if we tango, it’s only for one night and nothing more. It can never be anything more.”

And a bazillion people were all . . .

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Who stopped reading right then and there. Guess what? That’s totally cool and I wish I had the ability to not finish books when I know I’m not going to like them. Unfortunately I’m nuts and haven’t been able to figure out how to do so. Since I have no ability to DNF – and since this was a romance which translates to “home of the tired trope” I realized that Quinn was being presented as the worst of the worst so when he met his female lead her magic vagina would melt his horny heart and he would fall in instaluuuuuuuuurv with her. I was right. Yay me! I is so smart sumtimes.

Which leads us to complaint numero dos – “dubious consent.” (This is a wee spoilery, so run away if you’re scurrrred.) Our two MCs end up sharing a sleeping bag for reasons and since the leading male is such a manwhore who is used to waking with a hot piece of snatch in his bed his fingers start doing some talking before he’s fully awake/aware of exactly who he’s trying to tickle the ol’ ivories with. The leading lady is DIGGING it and is all . . . .

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PERSONALLY, I didn’t have any issue with that scene. The same with the contents of the leading lady’s bag. A woman who is supposedly going to get picked up in a few days in order to start her new life might well in fact pack her . . .

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Uhhhhhhhh, electric ear cleaner rather than leave it behind in her old life. My only disappointment was that they didn’t use it – but there’s always book 2, right?

I start out reading everything NA/romance/erotica thinking it will be 3 Stars and rate the majority of them that way. Quinn is no exception. The cover was hot, the plot was much more existent than tons of other selections in this genre, the sex was sexy, and the dialogue was humorous . . .

I knew all men were not created equal, but this? Holy hell . . . The size of his penis is not normal . . . I squint my eyes for a close-up . . .

“Would you like to measure it?”

(Seriously, I did giggle a few times while reading this.)

Even the cliffhanger didn’t totally piss me off and I would be interested in reading the second in the series in order to see where the story goes. Bottom line is different strokes for different folks and I wanted this dude to stroke me. As for all of the other stuff that went down? My friend Heather K summed it up best.

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