Upper Hand by Freya Barker

2 Stars

 

Let me tell you a little story about this jerk who sends me pictures of sploosh worthy covers from NetGalley with messages like "come on, go request this one, it'll be funnnnnnnn." Then both she and myself end up approved only to find out the tattooed cowboy on the front was most definitely the sexiest thing about the book. Payback's a bitch sometimes, though, because I ended up liking this more than she who shall remain nameless. Go figure *shrug*

The basic premise of Upper Hand is Clint and Beth have been attracted to each other for some time, but they both apparently suffered some sort of brain injury that made them unable to communicate like humans. Speaking of brain injury - Clint suffers one and Beth becomes glued to his side at the hospital . . . . even though they never really even spoke to each other before and she's a waitress so how in the hell can she afford to not work for a month and then when he gets released she volunteers to move in and help care for him and . . .



Yeah. I kinda feel like you should. I'm assuming since this is #5 in the series some of the ins and outs were lost on me for having not read the previous books. However, I still can't get how the kind of rapey alpha male approach that was a turnoff all of a sudden morphed into needing to be his Florence Nightingale. But whatevs. I'll just go with the flow on that part.

Next a "mystery" got added to the mix for good measure. Although this part of the story drug on (A. LOT.) and featured one too many kidnappings and bad guys getting away and refusal of the average Joes to leave stuff to the professionals, it kept my interest and was most definitely a welcome diversion to all the other stuff in the story . . . .



I'm an admitted failure when it comes to reading many of the sexytimes books. Generally it can be blamed on my dislike of dirty talk and descriptions of the acts themselves. This one wasn't too barf-inducing, but the dude sure did like to eat a lot of . . .



Upper Hand did have something I haven't ever come across in romance novels before . . .



Please note I am not a hater of the granny drawers (or MCs in their 40s). Those are my go-to underpants of choice (and that is my soon-to-be demographic). I can't say I want to hear about those underpants over and over (and over and over) again whilst reading a porno, though. Things got even worse better when Beth went on to talk about her "sagging tits, swollen stomach, neglected pubic hair and pitted thighs" . . . .



If I want to know any more about this topic . . .



I'd go look in a mirror.

And dare I fail to mention the flood in those granny pants or her symptoms of early onset menopause sprinkled throughout the story. When my husband heard I was reading a naughty book (plus baking cookies since it was a snowy vacation day here), he was all "BAZINGA!" Insert sad face when he got home and discovered . . . .



That's probably hot. I just haven't found the book that talks about it yet.

As for the state of MY granny panties after finishing this story????



ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.