2 Stars
I requested this book for one reason and one reason only . . . .
I have a morbid fascination with all things hoarding related. I know. I’m heartless and also not right in the head. I can’t help it : (
The premise of this book is that Star was removed from her mother’s custody as a wee little child due to the conditions of their house. Now Star’s momma has gone to that big ol’ pile of dead kittehs in the sky and Star needs to get the house cleaned out and sold. Once she returns to her hometown, she finds it filled with some serious buttholes who somehow have it in their head they are better than everyone else, but are really probably just white trash . . .
Star runs across Ash in the local diner where the townies are giving him grief for being a “murderer” who has just been released from the pokey. Since she quickly realized she’s in over her head with the hoard, Star decides to offer Ash a job helping her out for the summer. It also probably doesn’t hurt that he is an ex-con who looks like this . . .
So, there you have it. Now, where do I begin???? Let’s start with some positives. There was zero instalove in this book. Praise Jeebus! Star and Ash work together, develop a friendship, etc. before they ever . . . .
There were also no drunky time whoopsies. If there’s one thing I hate more than almost anything in romance novels is the “maybe that was a mistake phony will they or won’t they pointless 50 page filler.” Once these two got down they got down. And they did it just the way I like it. “Hey Kelly – would you like some flavor with your ice cream today?” No thanks, vanilla is perfect for me . . .
Now with the notsagreatstuff. This was typical NA fare with plenty of angst and an extra helping of . . .
Move over Chester, ‘cause this one might be the cheesiest (there’s even an “OH FFS!” status update below this review if you don’t believe me). In addition to being cheesetastic, there was also a lot of throwing back of the head and laughing. I’m sure I’ve done this a time or twelve myself, but to have it keep getting repeated over and over and over again made me picture . . .
Not sexy. On the plus side, at first I thought Star was going keep “worrying her lower lip” and then I was going to have to seriously cut a bitch. No more lip biting references allowed. Ever. Sorry authors, you can all direct your hate mail to E.L. James.
My main gripe, however, was the driving force behind the plot itself. Why a 19-year old with nearly zero dollars would spend her entire summer cleaning out a trashed house just to put it up for sale is beyond me. Watch any episode of Hoarders. The experts will tell you that even without a collection of dead cats, these houses are always battling roaches and/or mice, they have structural issues due to the weight of the hoard, etc. In real life this girl should have called 1-800-GOT-JUNK or the We Buy Ugly Houses people and just made as much cash as soon as she possibly could. Is it really so much to ask for a story to be a little realistic????
And finally. The ending. Or should I say non-ending. How the f*&^ does a book just END like this? This could have been 3 Stars, but when it was like “okay, I’ve written enough so I’ll just stop here” with no real conclusion? Nuh uh . . . .
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!
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