Shade by Pete Souza

5 Stars

If you know me, you know I was raised to believe that you don’t talk about politics or religion outside if you want to maintain relationships. That being made clear, if you feel the need to defriend/unfollow me for posting something up about this book, I’ll have zero problem with it.

I will fully admit I have wanted to get my hands on a copy of Shade ever since I heard about it. I will also do something I never thought I’d do and disclose to you that I did not vote for Obama. Either time. (Just in case people were starting to gather their pitchforks and torches to tell me what a “Libtard” I am.) Not that it’s really anyone’s business, but I’ll even give you the reason. The first time was simply due to the fact that I’m from Illinois – born and bred and there has been nothing but corruption in that state my entire life. I wasn’t about to vote for a Junior Senator who may have been as phony as a three dollar bill just because he knocked my socks off with one speech and Oprah told me to. The next time was for the simple fact that I consider myself socially liberal and fiscally conservative and so does Mitt Romney. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. (Nice knowing some of you.)

If you know anything about Pete Souza you know he’s not necessarily just another “snowflake” either. Before photographing the Obama White House he did the same for Reagan. Now, Souza most certainly was an Obama fan, but that doesn’t negate the near necessity of releasing his little slice of history. This book shows the complete mockery electing a narcissistic, mentally unstable reality star has made of the Presidency. While I may not have agreed with all of Obama’s ideas and/or policies, I never doubted that he knew just how important his role as President was. Trump??? Well . . . I think this image says just about everything . . . . .



This book is full of examples – both in the form of Tweets and “fake” news – demonstrating just how out of touch with the pulse of the nation the current President is. No matter your politics, it should serve as a reminder that the next time you go to the polls (whether it’s to pull red, blue or other) you should try to vote for someone who at least attempts to . . . .



A reviewer copy was provided by Little Brown in exchange for this review. I have thumbed through this enough times at the local bookstore to know that it would receive 5 Stars so the freebie had zero bearing on my rating.

Holy Lands by Amanda Sthers

4.5 Stars

Harry definitely wasn’t suffering from what most people would consider a typical sort of change in lifestyle that might be expected of a wealthy Jewish New York cardiologist of a certain age . . . . .



Instead . . . .



And now????



In Israel. He’s also engaging in quite the war of words with the local Rabbi.

This certainly won’t be a book for everyone, but I’m so happy to see that some of my most treasured Goodreads’ friends thought it was a gem just like I did. Told entirely via correspondence – both email and “snail mail” varieties – the current events of the entire Rosenmerck family are presented (and, of course, the Rabbi too) as they navigate their way through . . . .



Like the blurb states, Holy Lands is witty and heartwarming and it’s hard not to fall a little lotta bit in love with the Rosenmercks. Between the epistolary format and its brevity there’s not much reason why a reader couldn’t get through it in one sitting – and that’s how you should do it, if possible. It’s kind of like digging through an old box in your grandma’s attic and discovering your family history in the hoard.

P.S. I just now saw that it is soon to be a movie. James Caan will be the perfect Harry!

Here there are Monsters by Amelinda Bérubé

2 Stars

“How many times do you have to rescue somebody before they figure out how to save themselves?”
I should have paid more attention to my friends’ ratings on this one, but there are only so many covers that allow you to pull dead shit off your walls for a photo moment . . . . .



100% honesty here – that cover is the only redeeming quality this book has. The rest?????



The story is about Skye, an average 16-year old who was looking forward to a fresh start in a new town and out from under the stigma of having a “weird” sister. But when said sister Deirdre goes missing, it might be up to Skye to once again save her.

Kudos to the author for being willing to write such realistic, self-absorbed teenagers, but if I wanted to spend time with one of those I’d just go upstairs to one of my own kids’ bedrooms. Seriously, my reaction to every insufferable bit of these character’s interactions and internal dialogue was . . . .



Kudos also to the various possibilities regarding the goings on. It could have been an accidental shooting, it could have been a drowning, it could have been a random child killer, it could have been supernatural . . . . .



I’m not so sure Here There Are Monsters was Imaginary Girls like the blurb said (but I will be checking it out because my friends actually liked that one) and it definitely wasn’t The Blair Witch Project (what time machine did the powers that be get on in an attempt to make that reference relevant again????). Unfortunately it was just kind of terrible and the second time the following plotline failed me this week . . . . .



This book was so boooooooooooooooooooring and the big “secrets” and reveals were obvious and not at all shocking. Also, who the heck breaks a book into separate parts named after main characters that then has NOTHING to do with those characters??? Sky remained the narrator throughout and the focus was pretty much always Skye and her awfulness.

So why 2 Stars instead of 1? Well, at this point it takes quite a bit for me to 1 Star something – and since I’m not even close to being the target demographic for this one it gets an extra. And that cover deserves a star all on its own.

The Best Lies by Sarah Lyu

2 Stars

The Best Lies had already been on my radar for quite some time due to . . . . .



Holy crap, the recommendation feature actually barfed out something that looked appealing??? And speaking of looking appealing, there were definitely some visual similarities that also piqued my curiosity . . . .



Between the titles and the covers, my brain was telling me . . . .



Then a couple of my Goodreads friends liked it to so I put myself on the library wait list. And now?????



Blame it on me having a bit of an addiction to teenager Lifetime mystery movies ten or so years ago. This story was a classic case of a toxic relationship culminating in a moment of . . . .



And I think I have just read/watched it one too many times. There were no real twists or turns and despite having a then and now timeline, it felt very stagnant to me. The good news is it was very dialogue driven which equaled me reading it in just a few hours while I supervised some horribly boring document comparison project that was running on my computer. Please note, however, that I’m also so dumb I didn’t even put this on my currently reading list, so you probably shouldn’t trust my opinion.

Buuuuuuuuut, to anyone else who might think it’s a bright idea to copycat a megahit’s name and artwork like what was done here, I say . . . .



It’s tough not to compare the orange to the apple when you put it in an apple costume.

Beard Necessities by Penny Reid

5 Stars

“I mean this with all my heart,” he said, the words gravelly and fierce. And then he kissed me.
I actually arrived to the Winston Brothers’ party a little late and have only been a part of their world for about three years. That being said, three years is a looooooooooooooooooooooong time to suffer from a case of blue balls waiting for Billy’s book. Now that it’s here? Words fail me – so here are some .gifs that should help get the point across regarding my reaction to this final story . . . . .









Yeah. That’s about right. Some one pass me a cigarette. And a towel.

Oh Penny Reid, you done so good girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only do Billy and Scarlet get their happily-ever-after in the most torturous of slow burning burners that ever burned, but the entire family is there (and Cletus is especially Cletusy and oh I just love that man and his sneaky ways) and it takes place in MOTHERFUCKING TUSCANY!!!!!!!!!! She even threw in a Lucy Honeychurch reference and I’m pretty sure I may have died for a minute. And finally – after making all of us horny housewives suffer for ages and ages . . . . .

“Scarlet, do you want –“

“Yes. For God’s sake, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”



All the Stars.

Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

2 Stars

My face when I saw the rating for this one . . . . .



Oh I was so looking forward to it. Sadly . . . . . .



Coincidentally, Chloe herself was a bit of a Debbie Downer. Not to mention . . . .



I love when what should theoretically be simple romcoms tackle larger issues as the case was here with the leading lady suffering from chronic pain due to fibromyalgia and the leading male dealing with . . . something else that I’m not going to spoil since it’s not in the blurb. However, authors need to assume their readers aren’t dolts. I felt like I was beaten over the head with reminders about Chloe’s illness to the point where she became nearly intolerable to me – not to mention the fact that her personality was just pretty much intolerable. (And trust that I can get on board with a character who isn’t Mary Sunshine because I loved The Cactus and everyone else hated that poor broad.) So much time was spent in Chloe’s head with her talking about herself that some important issues failed to get explained. Like, maybe her fiancé was a douchecanoe who couldn’t handle marrying someone with a forever type of illness, but seriously ALL of her friends were assholes too? And her family????? (Who, by the way, were ALWAYS there for her whenever she needed them and sat on a wad of dough so she never had to worry about finances either.) It seemed to me like it was Chloe herself who turned into a hermit/thought of her diagnosis as a death sentence because no evidence was given to the contrary. Sadly her redemption arc didn’t come until the 70% mark so by then it was too little too late for me to decide I liked her after all.

Obviously the rating was already going to take a hit due to this personality conflict. But I did (and still do) love the premise that Chloe needed to take her life back. And I loved that she was a curvy. And I always love some diversity. And I loved Smudge the cat. I didn’t love Red but I didn’t hate him either so that wasn’t the worst. And I was prepared for there to be a bit of steam because I is smort and you can only fool me once with that a cartoon cover means PG sexytimes (looking at you The Kiss Quotient). Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I was not prepared for this snooty upperclass leading lady to refer to her own bits as the “P Word” incessantly (like when she wasn’t actively engaged in intercourse or foreplay) . . . . .



If you know me, you know I’m not a prude, but I only tolerate that shit in a porno featuring motorcycle gang members or dudes who shift into things like wolves and bears in their spare time. And then when they had their first sexual encounter ON THE GODDAMN SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF A FUCKING PUBLIC STATUE??????



(Fez at the end there is everyone else who read this book and is not named Kelly or Mitchell.)

If my poor husband had the idea that he was going to be getting some action after this one, he was sadly mistaken . . . .



The bright side is I think this might have just been a fluke miss for me. I’ll definitely give this author another go.

The Art of Southern Charm by Patricia Altschul

3 Stars

Patricia Altschul is the reason why phrases like “YASSSSSSS QUEEN” were invented – although she’s way too classy to use such common language herself, I’m sure. In case you aren’t familiar, Miss Pat is the resident matriarch of my most favorite television viewing pleasure (notice I didn’t include the word “guilty” because I don’t feel the least bit guilty when I watch it) . . . . .



From her oh-my-lort-I-could-just-die-from-envy home . . . . .



To being chauffered through the McD’s drive-thru in her Rolls Royce.

To her line of “couture” . . . . .



To her seemingly endless quips that steal the show with her cameo appearances . . . . .







Miss Pat is everything I want to be when I grow up so of course I had to read this book. Obviously this is for fans who want to know more. While it does provide some high society sorts of pointers regarding etiquette, the truly interesting tidbits are learning about Patricia’s life and how she got to her current level of fabulosity.

My favorite selections had to be her least favorite things. Here’s a few . . . .

I don’t have anything nice to say about…
Toilet paper folded into points—and worse than that, toilet paper folded and topped with a sticker
Fake Christmas trees (Sorry, Miss Pat!!!)
Man buns
Carnations
Bringing untrained puppies to visit
People who don’t watch TCM (Turner Classic Movies)
French manicures
Women or men who wear too much cologne
Side boob (OH MY GOD I LOVE HER!)

And Then There’s the End of Western Civilization…
Visible piercings
Underwear that’s worn in place of real clothing in public
Flip-flops, except at the beach

She also lets readers take a peek into her Kindle . . . .

Belgravia, by Julian Fellowes, the creator of Downton Abbey. I also loved his novel Snobs.
Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan. Can’t wait for the next book in the trilogy.
The Knockoff by my friend Lucy Sykes
The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin Bright
Precious Days by Jay McInerney
Gertrude Bell, Queen of the Desert, Shaper of Nations by Georgina Howell
Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year and Superficial by the one and only Andy Cohen
Beach Music by Pat Conroy
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt

And, for a psychotic Christmas decorator like myself, offers up some helpful advice when it comes to trimming the tree . . . .

While there’s no right or wrong way to trim a tree, here are a few practical tips: If you have a very large tree topper, as I do—I have a giant peacock with a sweeping tail on the top of my very tall tree (doesn’t everybody?)—the best way to attach it is to do so before the tree is set up. Use wire to secure the ornament, whether it’s a star, a bird, or something else that strikes your fancy, then position the tree in its stand.

She even lets you in on the secret behind the tastiest egg salad for your tea sandwiches . . . .

 

The Grace Year by Kim Liggett

5 Stars

The blurb states The Grace Year is . . . .

A speculative thriller in the vein of The Handmaid’s Tale and The Power.

Which pretty much had me like . . . .



Since I am one of the minority who really did not like the former whatsoever and who had never even heard of the latter. But then it was kind of everywhere and the library is free so I added myself to the wait list and read it when my turn came around. Well slap my ass and call me Sally because I freaking loved this sucker.

The story here takes place in Garner County where girls spend the first 15 years of their life preparing for the Grace Year. That’s when they turn 16, are selected (or not) for marriage, and are exiled from the safety of their community for a year due to the overwhelming temptation their “magic” is capable of releasing in a man. Assuming they survive banishment, their future will be to keep sweet, mind their husbands and produce offspring. You know, pretty much like . . . . .



This year’s gonna be a little bit different, though . . . .

“We are the weaker sex, weaker no more.”

I would call The Grace Year a mashup between an old fave . . . . .



With quite a bit of a modern bestseller added in for good measure . . . .



Forewarning to all, there is a bit of a Gale/Peta/Katniss situation so if the addition of some kissing book stuff in addition to your stabby makes you want to say . . . .



Then it might not be for you. It worked just fine for me, though. Maybe because it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read a book like this. Maybe because I actually liked this one so much more than The Handmaid’s Tale that I gave it a pass. Maybe because the holiday season is almost upon us and . . . .



Whatever the case – I thought this book kicked ass and if I had teens who enjoyed reading I would definitely bookpush it on them. Now I’m kicking my own ass I didn’t beg someone for an ARC because this needs to be added to my YA bookshelves. The movie version is sure to be a blockbuster.

We Disappear by Scott Heim

5 Stars

If it weren’t for Lauren, I would have never even heard of this book let alone tracked down a hard copy from the library. And this is why places liked Goodreads or Instagram are awesome. Not for “likes” and followers and influencing and all the other real barfy shit that people only seem to talk about – but for friendship and book recs and potentially discovering a new favorite that would have not pinged your radar otherwise.

Per the above, I checked out We Disappear per Lauren’s recommendation alone. I did not read the blurb. You shouldn’t either because there’s a big fat fucking spoiler right in the middle of it that would have pissed me off if someone had blabbed it to me so it’s definitely not okay for the freaking book jacket to do it. The story here is about Scott, a meth addict, who returns to Kansas from New York after receiving a call from his mother who is battling cancer. Supposedly “disappeared” herself for a time as a child, Scott’s mother Donna has always had more than a bit of a fixation on missing persons cases. A dead boy being discovered in a field is the catalyst to the call to her son for help in amateur sleuthing their way to figuring out the “whodunit.”

And now let’s get giffy. This book had EV.ER.Y.THANG. on the Mitchell and Kelly sure-to-be-5-Star-meter going for it. To begin with . . . .



I think that’s been established by now.

Between Scott’s dope problem and his momma’s multiple memories of the same situation. Well . . . .



Cheers to that.

Then there’s that thing the blurb spoils . . . .



Seriously, blurbist. Why? I read a lot of freaking mysteries. It’s not super often that I have this sort of reaction . . . .



Bottom line?????



As Avril Lavigne would say – this was everything everything that I wanted. Dark, gritty, methy, dead people, nutters, the list goes on and on. All the Stars.