Friday, October 16, 2015

Life After Dane by Edward Lorn

4 Stars
What a month this has been! I had about eleventy-three library books checked out, Shelby and the smut pushers kept dragging me over to NetGalley to check out porn, and then Mitchell gets up in my ear saying “but it’s Stabtober – we haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave to read something by Ed Lorn. We just haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave to.” I was all like shut the fuck up, Mitchell!!!! that’ll do, pig . . .

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Now that I’ve read Life After Date I’m here to say my buddy owes me one. To say this book was disturbing is the understatement of the century. Helpful hint to others: Don’t Google “disturbing gif” ‘cause this is what comes up . . . .

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Anywho, Life After Dane is the story of serial killer Dane Peters . . .

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That ain’t candy, James Woods. Nope, the calling card that earned Dane the nickname “The Rest Stop Dentist” and also landed him a date with a lethal injection was a trail of teeth. It’s Dane’s belief that the teeth will lead him home – and home is where his momma will come to realize . . .

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Now, I’m familiar with Ed Lorn’s work and I know he can write some disturbing shite. But this?????? This book took it to a whole new level. Kudos to you, Ed, for writing my most hated character to date. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t the undead serial killer. I don’t get worked up about much, but one Ms. Ella May Peters was enough to make me put the book down a time or three. I wanted her to be real, standing in front of me, so I could . . .

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Additional kudos for the obscene amount of gross-out factor. Since I’m an extremely deranged individual, the squickier the better and this one had plenty of squick. And also fecal matter. There was a lot of shitting of the pants in this story. But in all seriousness – if you were confronted by a not-so-dead psycho killer, what would you do????

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That’s right, Al Roker. You sho did.

As you may or may not know, Ed Lorn is one of my friends. That doesn’t change my rating, though. (In case you haven’t already heard through the GR grapevine, I’m a huge bitch and also a bully.) I rate ‘em as I see ‘em and although Ed has told me this is his personal favorite of everything he has written, for me it was hovering around the 3.5 Star mark. Dat ending tho! Holy shitnacks!

My fave has been and continues to be Bay’s End. Much thanks to Easy E for the Easter Egg left behind in Dane. And many more thanks for the autographed copy of my favorite book (which I PAID FOR so STFU haters). Just look how happy my surprise made Mitchell . . .

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Booksource: Amazon sale about a hundred years ago that I’m just now getting around to reading (*whatwhat*). If I like an author sometimes I’m willing to fork over a couple dollars.

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