Wednesday, September 12, 2018

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones


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1 Star




Let’s get real. That’s the reason everyone and their damn dog read this thing. Now that I’ve read it, I’m fairly certain that’s why many users rated it so high as well. I actively avoided it for months because I wasn’t quite sure if I was still a drinker of the Oprah Kool-Aid and wanted to maintain my fond memories of a bygone era. But then a co-worker told me about a podcast she listened to where Tayari Jones was interviewed and convinced me to add my name to the waiting list because she sounded so nice. There’s a good chance that she’s the nicest person in the universe . . . . but the characters she wrote about sure weren’t.

For me, it all boils down to . . . .

“Young people don’t respect the institution.”

While I don’t believe that is the case, the message that THESE YOUNG PEOPLE in particular didn’t respect the institution of marriage was broadcast loud and clear throughout the duration of this novel. As a woman who has been married for 22 years, let me tell you this story pissed me plum the fuck off. These people weren’t in an “American Marriage” – or if they were I’m declaring I want different categories because they didn’t even LIKE each other FFS. He was an overgrown manchild who screwed women on the side while vilifying his “little missus” for not being interested in getting knocked up on their honeymoon. She was so worried about losing herself to a man that she wouldn’t give any part of herself for the greater good of their union. Their “marriage” of a year and a half was full of lies and omissions and both of them sickened me.

I’m a person who LOVES reading about the underdog or the “bad” guy. I don’t shy away from vile characters – often times I even find myself cheering for them. But these people? Ugh. If this is what “real” people are like then let me stay in my bubble because I could just vomit. From giving up on her supposedly innocent husband nearly instantaneously (don’t argue semantics – just because she pretended to stay with him for two years doesn’t mean she didn’t move on with her life/career immediately), to falling into bed with her childhood friend (and again, this relationship had zero actual love that translated to the page – only convenience and a copout) to him having a one-night-stand with a woman the day he’s out of prison and then informing his wife that he could rape her if he wanted to when she dares to tell him he needs to use protection if they are going to have sex (while she’s supposedly engaged to her (and his – can’t forget they were college buddies) best pal). I could just vomit.

I don’t know this reviewer, but the first few lines of THIS REVIEW asks the questions I kept asking myself. The answer for me? My rating comes from how much I enjoyed a book – not for its literary merit. I LOATHED this book, its characters, the glossing over the trial/incarceration/appeal/etc., its jumping of the shark that somehow a man whose father ran out on his mother when he was but a baby somehow MAGICALLY ends up in not only the same penal institution (and don’t forget there’s roughly 2.3 MILLION PEOPLE currently incarcerated in the United States), but also winds up his cellie in some attempt at tragi-porn that never delivers ANNNNNNND the beyond the grave letter from his dearly departed mama. GTFOOH. It doesn’t matter that the writing was clearly good, the snippets of imprisonment left me wanting more of that story, the final showdown in the front yard FINALLY offered me something to believe in or Big Roy . . . . .

“When I look at Mr. Roy out there, at his wife’s grave, I feel like I’ve been playing at marriage. That I don’t know what it is to be committed.”

Oh Big Roy. You were nearly enough to make me change my mind, but I’m sticking to my guns and this solo star.

Nearly ALL of my friends loved this novel thoroughly. There’s a good chance you will too. After all, the power of Oprah compels you. And if you think I’m kidding about that, here’s a pic I took last night during a “minute to win it” type of event where I pulled all the Oprah books I could off the shelves . . . . .

 

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller

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4 Stars

The only reason I read this is because Alexandra Fuller provided the cover blurb for Where the Crawdads Sing . . . .



I’m not even sorry either because I probably would never have heard of this memoir otherwise.

Alexandra Fuller’s family arrived in Rhodesia via way of Darby, England in 1966 when she was only a toddler. This is the story of her childhood as a farming family in what originally was a country ran by whites under British rule through the revolution where Rhodesia became Zimbabwe under Robert Mugabe’s control. It is a tale of strength in both body and spirit about a family constantly fighting the odds, yet somehow never quite giving up. With moments of extreme sadness that are counterbalanced by a delightful sense of humor . . . .

“Can I help you?” We can’t trust anyone anymore. Not even white men. It is only then we see that both men are armed with thick shiny black Bibles. Mum shuffles her gun behind her back. “Oh shit, Jesus creepers.” Bible outstretched, hand extended. He introduces himself and his partner: “And we’re here to tell you about the Lord.” He’s American. I start to giggle. Mum sighs. “Well, come in for a cup of tea, anyway,” she says.

Recommended to fans of The Glass Castle.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren


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3.5 Stars

After having much success with Love and Other Words and even more so with Roomies, there was zero chance I wasn’t going to click the request button and cross my fingers for a chance at Christina Lauren’s latest offering. I was delighted when I got approved, even more delighted when it started being reviewed by friends here and strangers on the ol’ Bookstagram who actually, you know, READ the stuff they get rather than just take fancy photos of them. Then I started it and met Hazel . . . . .

“I tend to be too chatty, too silly, too exuberant, too random, too eager. Too Hazel-y.”

To which I reacted like so . . . . .



I mean my profile page full on declares that Manic Pixies best GTFOOH stat. But then I met Josh . . . .


(How many times can I use that gif in one year? We shall see!)

Not only was he a Korean dreamboat, but also . . . .

“I think ‘babe’ is the world’s lamest nickname.”



Not to mention it was funny so I gave it a chance – and surprisingly Hazel really grew on me as did the message of don’t change who you are in order to appease someone else. (I have to say I enjoyed equally the message of also accepting the fact that not everyone has to like each other and sometimes you just won’t be another’s cup of tea.)

This would have been a solid 4 if it weren’t for the addition of a trope that happens waaaaaaaay too frequently that I will never be a fan of . . . .



It’s the easy way to end a story, it’s lazy, it’s a message that being irresponsible works out A-okay and I think these two authors can do better so I’m deducting a half star. I’m definitely in the minority here, though, and the remainder of the book was truly fun so I would absolutely recommend this to romance readers and have high hopes for this duo's next offering about a “half night stand.”

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

Friday, September 7, 2018

The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Toro and Daniel Kraus


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1 Star




I hate that that’s my reaction to this book, but good god almighty was it a slog for me. And it sucks double because I obviously read it wrong being that the handful of my friends who have already read it really enjoyed it. I don’t know what happened. I mean, the story is one that’s been told a time or twelve before. . . . .

“Man should be better than monsters.” “Ah, but who are the monsters?”

But that’s not something that ever deters me from a book (seriously, I’m totally the sucker gal who’s always going to be first in line for “the next Gone Girl”). It also can’t be because it was “weird” because one of my favorite films of all time will forever be . . . .



The only thing that can be blamed? The writing. Overwritten literary fiction good v. evil with a side of monstersmex is apparently not my cuppa. Not to mention all the various sideplots about becoming a modern woman in the 60s or a closeted homosexual ready for love too late in life and the Russkies and good lord almighty once again . . . . .



Before you troll me please note I am NOT a reader who willingly seeks out things I will dislike in order to post some ragey review (in fact, those people are all on my bottomless blocked list). I want to loooooooove every book I read . . . or at least I want to not feel like I wasted my (and potentially a buddy’s) time. Since I’m not a big moviegoer as soon as I saw The Shape Of Water also had a print version I immediately went to the library. And I waited. FOR MONTHS. Not even kidding, Stepheny has been waiting for this journey to begin since her baby was born, it seems. For the past three days all I’ve done is think about all of the other books I have waiting to be read that are sure to bring me more joy than this. And that’s not a good thing.

Stepheny opted for the audio version. I hope to all that is right in the universe the Wizarding World that she ends up having a better experience than I did.

And speaking of Stepheny. I was smitten with our resident Harry Potter re-reader extraordinaire pretty much from the jumpstart, but the moment where she told a 12-year to go eff off sealed the deal and had me saying . . . .



I am 100% aware that I absolutely S.U.C.K. as a buddy-reader for a multitude of reasons, which makes me ever-the-more thankful she still wanted to play in the same sandbox as me.


Thursday, September 6, 2018

Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell


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3.5 Stars

Ellie was only supposed to be going to the library. That was a decade ago and she’s never been seen since and her parents’ marriage suffered the collateral damage. The last thing Ellie’s mother Laurel is looking for at the local cafĂ© is a new beau, but she can’t help but be charmed by Floyd. And when she meets his daughter Poppy? Well, it’s like a blast from the past.

If you are a lover of the Lifetime Whodunit Network, lemme tell you . . . .



It doesn’t matter that it’s not believable. It doesn’t matter if you can see some of the surprises coming. It doesn’t matter if the ending has too many twists and jumps the shark. It is 100% pure entertainment value. We’ve had a couple of dreary Fall(ish) days here and I can’t help think this is the perfect selection to cozy up with on a rainy Saturday with a bottomless cup of coffee. The pages practically flip themselves so you’ll be finished in no time. Don’t want to take my word for it? I don’t blame you. Allow my friends’ averages on this one to assist in making you a believer . . . .

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Lost In Yonkers by Neil Simon


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4 Stars

I’m not one who generally gets real worked up when I hear of a celebrity’s death, but last week when Neil Simon passed away I have to admit I got more than a bit nostalgic. So I did what I do best – went to my best friend the library to see if they had any of Simon’s plays for me to listen to on my drive to and from work. Sadly they only had the one, but hey beggars can’t be choosers, right?

Good news is, while Lost in Yonkers wasn’t what I originally went looking for, it totally did the trick and reminded me of how when I was a kid I was pretty sure I had missed my calling and was really meant to be a born a Jewish boy in post-Depression New York City. There were a whole string of Neil Simon plays/movie adaptations that confirmed my belief, including this one as well as . . . .



and . . . .



However, what I originally sought out wasn’t one of these boyhood comedies, but rather Simon’s less-discussed side – romance. Particularly . . . . .



Though I would have happily settled for . . . .



If you haven’t had the pleasure, I highly recommend checking one out. He gives Nora Ephron a run for her money ; )

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren

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3.5 Stars

Christina Lauren are a writing duo that I just can’t seem to stay away from – and that’s coming from a person who 1 Starred the first selection of theirs I read that I later discovered was yet ANOTHER Twilight fan fic . . . .



So why do I keep coming back for more? Well, the first time it was because I didn’t have any recollection of my bad experience. But now? Mainly it’s because I want to see what they come up with next. The last thing I read by them featured a “married to a stranger in order to obtain a Greencard” trope which pretty much had me looking like . . . .



This time around things were a little angstier and a LOT more . . . .



In the best way possible in a story about second chance love . . . .

“I loved you.” I nod quickly at this bombshell interruption, looking for the rescue of our waitress bringing food. But she isn’t there. “You loved me, too, you know,” he says quietly. “It was everything.”

I will say that I get a little terrified of writers who start churning out new stuff at a frantic pace like these two seem to be doing. That being said, I’m beyond thrilled that I scored an advanced copy of their latest and plan to get to it real soon . . . .