Saturday, December 5, 2015

Crushed by Katherine Garbera

2.5 Stars
Hey you guys – I’m eating junk and reading pornos. You better come out and stop me . . . .

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‘Cause y a’ll know this doesn’t end well.

Former Navy Seal now turned sunkissed surfer smexytimes, you say?????

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However, it was me reading it, sooooooooo 2.5 Stars it is! This is the second book in the “Sons of San Clemente” series that I couldn’t help but one-clicking on NetGalley. Sadly neither of them worked for me (but this one was better than Wrecked). The main problem with this one was the abbreviated timeline.

Crushed read like it was on fast-forward. Con and Mia had ZERO relationship in high school (except thinking the other was hot). They go from running into each on the beach other 10 years after graduation, to running in to each other at a bar, to Mia declaring Con's simple touch on her arm as being “something to live for.”

I’d like to be able to say I think these women who get all fired up over something as stupid as someone brushing their thumb across their hand are idiots, but I’m pretty sure if Paul Walker did that to me I’d be a giant sploosh factory as well . . .

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Well, I mean not if he did that now, you know since he’s a corpse and all – buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut if he were a zombie?????


Anywho, I still don’t grasp the idea of sounding all fatal attraction and instalovey about FOR.EV.ER. just because you wanna do the dirty.

Okay, back on track. Said convo with the “inner goddess” about potential soulmatery is followed up by Mia shoving a “slut” aside and getting dry-humped on the wall outside a bar. You seriously gonna say the other chick who was just talking to dude is a slut????

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Unfortunately, the clothes-on-sex is soon interrupted by a bad guy from Mia’s past. Now, I know I always opt to forget about the freaking DRUG LORD who is probably going to kill me if there’s a chance I can get banged real good. But dontcha know it, right when they’re getting – uhhhhhhhhh, sexy????

“You know I want to be buried deep inside of you, Mia. You can feel my dick trying to get through both our jeans.”

(in a storage room – even though dude literally lives UPSTAIRS) - KABOOOOOOOM!

But the baddies get away (*wah waaaaaaaah*), so the two have to occupy themselves until morning with some - dirty dancing?????

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Alrighty then. Luckily that doesn’t last long and we finally get down to bidness. After that? It’s on like bingbong and time to take back the streets . . .

“Girls wished for things to be different. Women made them happen.”

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Followed by some more shebangity bangity . . . .

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I guess once you’ve had protected sex one time it’s totally cool to bareback it from then on. Thank god, right? Those things are totes inconvenient when you want to have bathtub sex.

And then stuff and things happen and yada yada yada. This gets 2.5 Stars because the action scenes were pretty on point – it just needed more pages in order to properly develop the relationship between the MCs and I probably would have gone up to 3. I’m really not good at these types of books so take my opinion with a grain of salt. Want to tell me I’m wrong????? Here’s something I made special just for you . . .

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Before I go I need to ask a serious question: Does moisture really “bead up” for anyone?????

Sounds like there should be a pill for that.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!

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