Thursday, September 3, 2015

Water for Alien Were-Dinos (or E.T., The Extra Tentacle) by Rod Holder

Because once you go monsterporn you never go back. Or at least that’s what Sh3lly tells me ; )

Okay, let’s begin with the title . . .

Chicago commercial photographers

Best title of the year. Bar none.

This is the story of Jillian and Alf-Khalan. *snort Alf snort* . . .

Chicago commercial photographers

He always did like to eat pu$$y.

Anywho, after a hard day scrubbing cars at the local bikini carwash Jillian has one thing on her mind – a warm shower. Actually make that two things – she also wants to have some hate sex with herself while picturing her worst customer of the day. She never expected an alien to come crashing into her yard. Said alien was a regular “Snatchasaurus"-Rex – he looked like what would happen if a Sharknado had a baby with a mutant dinosaur. And what was Jillian’s reaction to said dinosharkbeast????

Chicago commercial photographers

Duh, right? Using a datachip (in Alf’s case) and deductive reasoning (in Jillian’s), the duo determine there's only one way for them to both get out of this situation alive. TO F*&^% THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF EACH OTHER! And boy do they. Beginning with a tongue that would make Gene Simmons jealous and saliva that was the alien equivalent of KY Two-In-One Warming Gel, Jillian was taken to the 7th level of heaven. What wasn’t expected was Alf-Khalan’s reaction to Jillian’s pleasure . . . .

Chicago commercial photographers

HALLELUJAH!!!! SOMEONE FINALLY F-ING GETS IT! But he also had some . . . errrrrr other stuff happening . . .

Chicago commercial photographers

And y’all can guess what happened next . . .

Chicago commercial photographers

This one gets all the stars.

Many thanks to the author for offering this bit of genius up to us for free and to Sean for being a filthy porn distributor.

No comments:

Post a Comment