What Janie Wants by Rhenna Morgan

2 Stars

 

What Janie Wants currently stands at a 4.50 rating on Goodreads. Obviously I read this one wrong.

Alright, so here’s the problem. I am well aware that I am not the target demographic for sexytimes books. I generally find the women to be pathetic, the men to be uber creepers, and the bumping and grinding to be squick worthy. That being said, recently I have discovered that romance books containing a lot of humor (especially of the slapstick variety) score REALLY high with me (and I can even ignore a barf inducing poke session or two). When I saw Janie up for grabs on NetGalley, I jumped all over it. I wanted something light and sending a recently divorced woman to a nude resort without her realizing it sounded HI. LAR. IOUS. Unfortunately, it turns out I already read this book several years ago . . . .



and it was way better the first time around . . .



This wasn’t a rom-com at all (aside from an unfortunate meet and greet involving Janie and her future beau’s nutsack). I mean, Janie didn’t even venture down to the beach at all. WTF is the point in putting those kind of teasers in the blurb? I wanted some of this . . .



However, I’m not a DNF-er, so once I figured out this book wasn’t going to offer the fun and frivolity I had been expecting, I buckled down and got to reading. Then the talk of mounds and aching sex and “feasting” on parts began and . . .



Right?



Ahhhh, that’s better.

Now let’s move on to Zade. I’m sure panties will be dropping across ‘Murica for the oh-so-perfect Zade. Once again I’m the odd duck and could totally imagine the Mr. Perfect façade quickly dropping away upon the return to reality and him turning into a regular dude-brah who gathered up a collection of board shorts and t-shirts like this . . .



Still, I’m perfectly aware that all of these issues are my problem and my star rating would have been padded because of it. Until the “bareback” scene . . . .



Thanks, Big Carl.

Where was I? Oh yeah, unprotected sex that happened because (and I quote): “Zade didn’t sleep with just anyone.”How in the name of Tom Cruise do you know that, you dumb bitch? You’ve know the dude for 5 days. He is Matthew McConaughey from back in his hay-day reincarnate. You REALLY “know” he doesn’t sleep around? And you’re a mother of a high school senior and another in college????



Shame sticks on you, Janie, your rating drops to a 2.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!