Another Day by David Levithan

2 Stars

 

Have you ever fought the “Battle of the Netflix” for YEARS only to feel bad that you can’t think of anything decent to get your husband for Father’s Day so you end up caving and then you find things like Napoleon Dynamite and you just can’t stop yourself from watching it over and over and over again? Me too. My advance apologies for what you’re about to experience. #voteforpedro

David Levithan is like the pied piper to my old haggy self and I can’t resist reading everything he churns out - especially when I can get them for free and months in advance of their release date . . .



That being said, I kinda had a bad feeling upon starting this book. I’m not a fan of the retelling of a story from another character’s point of view. I generally think it’s (1) a waste of time and (2) a money-grubbing scheme. But again, it’s Levithan so if anyone could have made me a believer, it’s him (or not *sad face*).

Another Day simply didn’t have the same magic for me as Every Day. Every Day earned points because I used to be nicer a couple of years ago for being original and doing a great job of getting the message across that love is love. Sadly the sequel didn’t provide me with those same kinds of feely-feels. Mostly due to my reaction to Rhiannon . . .



While she did have a few redeeming qualities:

“I know you say you love me, but you don’t really know me. You’ve known me a week.”

“Just because you trust me, it doesn’t mean I have to automatically trust you. Trust doesn’t work like that.”

She was pretty much just awful:

“This surprises me, that A was a boy in love with a boy. Maybe it’s because it’s a girl’s voice telling me this story. Or maybe because I assume girl when I hear boyfriend. Which I know isn’t right, but it’s where my mind goes.”

And it wasn’t just when A was a female. Rhiannon was about as shallow as they get. When A appeared as a hotty she was all in, but when he showed up as less than a 10 all of a sudden she had mixed emotions . . .



Not that A was any better. “Controlling, instaloving nutter” were the super intelligent notes I left for myself. Things like A not realizing that Rhiannon would not be physically attracted to him if he were in a HER body left me with the same squicky vibe as Rhiannon’s reaction to homosexuality. It was like a reverse “pray the gay away” moment. Yes, what is on the inside is what matters, but no one should force themselves into a sexual situation that makes them feel uncomfortable – and pretending to be a lesbian would definitely be one of those situations.

Another negative were both characters’ experiences. Gak! So one-dimensional. Now, there was a glimpse of A waking up for the day in a troubled body, but really if you found yourself as a new person every 24-hours wouldn’t the odds have you ending up homeless or neglected or abused or something not so freaking ordinary every day?

Same goes for Rhiannon. Here is a girl who has grown up in a not-so-healthy environment and has coped by becoming a Stage 5 Clinger to an emotionally unavailable boy. Rather than going into any details about what made her who she was, instead we got this . . .



I’m getting too old for that.

In fact, the character I was most intrigued by this time around ended up being the a-hole boyfriend. Go figure. From A and Rhiannon’s perspective, Justin was simply a superdouche (which he proved time and again), but I wanted to find out what deeper reason was behind his mood swings/disgusting views towards women. DEAR DAVID LEVITHAN, PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL CUT YOU IF YOU WRITE THIS G.D. BOOK AGAIN FROM JUSTIN’S POINT OF VIEW.

Maybe this will finally teach me that these reiterations of a story just aren’t my cup of tea. However, I will continue drinking the Levithan Kool-Aid ‘cause the fella’s writing is pretty much the bees knees . . .

“I wonder how I can be so full of him while he’s so empty of me.”

“We stand there for a few seconds, or maybe a few minutes, hand in hand, forehead on forehead, lips gently on lips, drained entirely of longing, because everything’s been found.”

“The universe, at this moment, is romantic. And I want it. I want it so badly. I want the touch of his lips on mine. I want the way my heart is pounding. I want this nest, my body and his body. I want it because it’s that unreal kind of real.”



ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!

Where They Found Her by Kimberly McCreight

3 Stars

 

poop.

I hate attempting to write reviews about books I felt “meh” about. Although I read a little bit of everything, the mystery/thriller genre is definitely the one I gravitate toward most frequently. That being said, I’m extremely hard to please. A 3-Star rating is gooooooood for me. I also have high expectations from authors who I have previously read and enjoyed. Unfortunately for authors like McCreight (as well as others like Samantha Hayes and Chevy Stevens) I have a habit of stumbling across either their best (or at least most noted) books first and everything else pales in comparison. Such was the case with Where They Found Her after reading Reconstructing Amelia.

Let’s start with the positive – Kimberly McCreight writes readable stories. The premise of Where They Found Her was one of those “ripped from the headlines” types. A baby’s dead body has been discovered near the university and a local reporter has been assigned to follow the case. The story also follows the life of a high-school dropout whose mother has gone missing and that of a “helicopter” mother whose young son has started demonstrating some not-so-perfect behaviors.

Here’s where things get a little shaky for me. I don’t dig extra drama added to a plot that I feel is done only for drama’s sake. I’m sure many will disagree with me here (and that’s perfectly okay – just please don’t troll my review to tell me I’m an idiot), but I thought having the reporter recently having a stillbirth of her own just gummed up the works. I’m heartless, I know. Same goes for the actual mystery. I want a "James Woods" type of experience that leads me on a twisty trail . . . .



I’m not going to spoil anything, but the old saying “thou doth protest too much” really comes into play in a lot of thrillers and leaves me with some serious disappointment when I know the whodunit immediately.

I’m also not a fan of authors using the same approach to multiple books. Reconstructing Amelia had a “mixed media” vibe with e-mails, texts, IMs, journal entries, etc. telling the story – and it worked well. Using newspaper clippings, therapy records, etc. in this book turned the writing style into more of a crutch or gimmick.

Bottom line? Where They Found Her makes for a great poolside read for those of you who, like me, prefer the dark side of summer fluff rather than the ol' slap-n-tickle.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Prelude by Abnett/Lanning/Alves/Clark/Ramos

2 Stars

 

A certain group of bullies “friends” here are constantly riding my butt in an attempt to get me to read superhero-y stuff. I keep fighting the good fight, but I have to admit I have embraced a certain group of galactic warriors as my type of peeps . . .



When a movie makes eleventy trillion dollars and People’s current “Sexiest Man Alive” takes a backseat to Andy Dwyer a potential replacement People’s Sexiest Man, the powers that be wanna make that cheddar anyway possible. Unfortunately like most “movie tie-ins” this one left me with some serious disappoint.

Prelude offered a mixed bag of tales in order to provide a little backstory on most of the characters from the film – all of which were pretty much turds. The volume begins with Nebula’s story . . .



And also features the many makeovers of Gamora . . .



The Deadliest Woman in the Whole Galaxy!!!

There’s a little taste of the awesome which will become this duo . . .



But then a trip on the Wayback Machine brings 1950’s artwork and stories that just DID. NOT. Work for me. Iron Man and Drax? Pass. (Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like Iron Man? Wait. Don’t answer that.) An Adam Warlock story featuring . . .



F*&^ to the nah, thank you very much.

A story featuring Jeff’s BFF . . .



is also thrown in for good measure. It seems the Hulk has somehow ended up in the wrong quadrant with Rocket Raccoon and his faithful sidekick . . . . Wal Russ???? WTF? Here’s what I think of that combo . . .



Anywho, Hulk only wants to return to Earth, but in order to do so he must battle an evil mole . . .



Sadly, yet another tale I could have easily lived without. Now, it wasn’t quite as bad as Groot as a bad guy or the fact that Star-Lord’s story was the SAME F’ING ONE PROVIDED IN Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 1: Cosmic Avengers, but it still sucked.

Bottom line, if you’re a superfan that just HAS to have everything in your collection you probably need to buy this – otherwise you can definitely skip it. If you’re a Chris Pratt superfan, here’s a little something just for you . . .







Oh wait, one last thing . . .



BWAHAHAHA! I loved Andy Dwyer Chris Pratt before ALL Y’ALL!

 

The Darkness: Origins Volume 1 by Garth Ennis, Marc Silvestri and David Wohl

3 Stars

 

Many of you are probably already familiar with my tales of woe regarding the selection of graphic novels through my library systems (yes SYSTEMS plural – two different metro libraries and neither of them stock many pitcherbooks). Due to the slim to nil variety, I kind of grab whatever is available without knowing anything about what I’m choosing. The Darkness was chosen simply because I’m familiar with the name Garth Ennis. I offered this up as a potential buddy read with my pal Jeff, but he is on an anti-Ennis kick after shitting his pants reading Crossed. You missed out, Sucka! This was your type of graphic novel – filled with . . .



Now I’m not necessarily opposed to scantily clad women . . . or boobs in general, but all these chicks were there for was for . . . .



Yeah, yeah, I hear you: “So what’s wrong with that?!?!?!?!”Nothing, except when the bad guy is really supposed to be a badass bitch I don’t want her getting all emo over her harem.

I also wasn’t a huge fan of the MC. Jackie Estacado is supposed to be a real panty dropper. I mean, he takes of “problems” for his uncle . . .



and is a huge ladies man who knocks boots with a different broad he picks up at “da club” every night. The problem for me was, I couldn’t get this image out of my mind whenever he was picking up a new one-nighter . . .



The Darkness wasn’t all bad, though. I enjoyed having an “origins” volume that actually provided some origins and I love anti-heroes rather than hero heroes. The twist that went along with Jackie’s power made me LOL . . .



And there were also some interesting friends that accompanied his new gift . . .



Oh, and the artwork? No complaints . . .



Well, except for all of the aforementioned boobs ; )

All in all, not a horrible debut but probably not one that I’ll go out of my way to continue reading.

The Red Mohawk by Anonymous

4 Stars

 

OMG this was so much fun I again want to dance my feelings!!!!



“‘This time it’s personal.’

‘Jeezus! Could you be any more of a cliché?’

‘Yes I could.’”

The Red Mohawk is a book for lovers of the cheesy horror story. It has all of the ingredients to become an instant cult classic. To begin with, you have the most redneckognized tow in all of ‘Murica – “B Movie Hell.” This place is so white trash it even allowed its naming rights to be purchased!

The cast of characters rotates around the local whorehouse making for some extra raunchy good times that also brought back fond memories from my childhood and the first verboten film I ever sneaky-watched . . .



Next, add in a crazed, masked psychopath . . .



as well as . . .



Supergirl????? Yeah, Supergirl. Just go with it.

Don’t forget to mix in the most godawfully bad wonderful soundtrack I’ve ever seen . . .



and watch the body count start mounting. Oh, and make sure stop by the local diner for a bite to eat . . .



I mean, you have keep up your strength when it comes to running from bad guys, right???



Just don’t use the restroom. It’s been through . . . uhhhhhh . . . some stuff.

If you’re looking for some campy quality good times, The Red Mohawk is the book for you. So gross, so funny, so surprising that it actually contained quite a decent plot. Many thanks to Sh3lly for recruiting weirdos like myself, Shelby and Edward for this whacky buddy read.



ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!

Little Girls by Ronald Malfi

3 Stars

 

Dear Magic 8 Ball, What are the chances of me really writing a rave review of a book that I read over a month ago . . .



That’s what I figured.

When I saw “Bram Stoker Award Nominee” combined with the premise of a woman returning to her potentially haunted childhood home I was all over getting my hands on a copy of Little Girls. Unfortunately, when a book tells me it’s going to be about creepy maybe dead girls, my mind wants the story to go right for the gusto . . .



What can I say? I’m a fan of the stabby stabby. If that’s what you’re looking for too, then save Little Girls for another day. Now, if you’re interested in more of a paranormal mystery than edge of your seat terror, this might be the book for you. This is a story that really moseys along at a leisurely pace investing lots of page space on details. It is very clear the house is a main character. If you’re a fan of the ol’ “Antiques Roadshow” and love to hear about the beauty of Chippendale dressers (mind out of the gutter, Jeff) and whatnot, you’ll probably eat this right up . . .



However, if you are like me and sometimes find your attention span waning while you’re getting bogged down in description, again this one might not be for you. Of course, you could always turn it into a drinking game a la “Frasier” . . .



A final note is that although I knew some of what was happening right away, it took me quite a while to figure out exactly where the story would wrap up. I will also say the twist isn’t something not all readers will be comfortable with . . .



All in all I found Little Girls to be a solid 3 Star selection.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!

Sorry I Wasn't What You Needed by James Bailey

4 Stars

 

Raise your hand if you’re the kind of weirdo who thinks a book about a man who has to return to his hometown because his father just committed suicide is the perfect selection for Father’s Day reading material?



Nah, keep it up ‘cause I’M that kind of weirdo too!

Full disclosure time. I requested Sorry I Wasn’t What You Needed for one reason and one reason alone . . .



Yep. It sounded like a knock-off version of This Is Where I Leave You and since Tropper hasn’t offered me up any of his tasty little creations in quite some time I am willing to accept all substitutions. And this one wasn’t bad at all . . . it was just different. Which it should be, right? I mean, if it was a carbon copy of Tropper’s style I’d probably be bitching a huge fit. This was a solid 4 Star read for me. Obviously the downward spiral to misery is my recent cup of tea . . .



and James Bailey is definitely an author who can turn a phrase . . .

“I fan the opening with my hand to encourage the death-infused particles to disperse into the surrounding air. Many of them cling still to the faux sheepskin covers like dew, infiltrating my pants and sweatshirt almost immediately upon contact as I sink into the bucket seat.”

I also liked the fact that there was some ambiguity remaining at the end of the novel. I mean, really, on what planet does a death by suicide ever provide the survivors with the answers they need?

My only real complaints about this story were the characters. In This Is Where I Leave You (as in all of Tropper’s books), we are presented a loveable loser who you just can’t help but root for. In Sorry we don’t get this . . .



Instead we get this . . .



and while there was plenty of this . . .



there wasn’t quite enough of this to balance it out . . .



Still – an excellent read that I would recommend.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!