Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson

5 Stars

I really enjoyed The Family Fang this years, so when I heard that Kevin Wilson had a new release coming out I made sure to put my name on the library hold list well before it ever came out to guarantee I’d be at the top of the heap. Now that I’ve finished I have this to say . . . . .



Lillian has a history of bailing Madison out of a jam, so she’s exactly the person who gets called when Madison’s twin stepchildren are in need of a “governess.” Not only do these two kids have to deal with mourning their dead mother and being moved in to the guest house of their absentee father – a man who just so happens to make his living in the political spectrum opining on the importance of things like family values *barf* – but they also have another little issue that pops up every now and again . . . .



I’m not going to waste a lot of time talking about this one. My rating should speak for itself. I will say that I love a loveable loser and books about finding your tribe and while it may not be true that . . . .



It sure doesn’t hurt.

This is a story that simply makes you feel good and Wilson tells it effortlessly. In addition to all the warm fuzzies, he’s extremely witty too. Without spoiling things, there was a moment regarding . . . . .



That just seemed so hilariously perfect to me. Not to mention this exchange:

She’s the greatest Tennessean in the state’s entire history.

Oh, Lillian.

She wrote ‘I Will Always Love You.’

Lillian, do you know that there have been three Tennesseans who have served as the president of the United States?

I know. But none of them were born in Tennessee.

Well, I mean . . . technically that’s correct –

And Johnson was impeached. And Jackson, c’mon, he was kind of a monster.

That’s not entirely –

Dolly Parton. She is way better than Andrew Jackson.

PREACH GIRL, PREACH!!!!!

 

Last Night at the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan

3 Stars

This little bitty book is about exactly what the title states – the goings on with the staff of the local . . . . .



Not to be confused with . . . . .



As they work the last shift before their failing location is permanently closed. Some will simply be moving to the next nearest franchise for their next shift, some were such terrible employees at the current strip-mall site that there’s no way manager Manny could give them any sort of recommendation. Some will stick it out until the lights are switched off for the final time, some will cut out as early as possible either due to an impending blizzard or interpersonal conflicts. It’s sort of like a dramatic version of . . . .




I actually went to the library (in May – because of course I listened to this eighty-seven months ago, but remembered I never wrote anything when my kid asked to go to our local Red Lobster for dinner the other night) to maybe check out West of Sunset by this author as that one had been recommended to me. When I saw this short selection available on audio (knowing I had a short road-trip coming up) I figured I might as well roll the dice. I don’t really know what to say about this one. The entire experience was kind of like watching a Seinfeld marathon – it’s not really about anything, and yet somehow . . . . .

 

The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams

5 Stars

I’m a day late for this release, but (i) I actually reviewed another book yesterday that released yesterday, (ii) I’m generally weeks or months (or even years) late with my reviews, and (iii) this is my second review today. so in my opinion . . . . .

THIS. GIRL. IS. ON. FIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.



Let’s start by talking about these cartoony covers. I love ‘em. That’s been established. I also enjoy the male abdominal covers, but I tend to not like face covers (period), but especially in romance novels due to the fact that I want to cast the male lead using my own vagina imagination and not have the author’s idea of attractive forced upon me (because I am an asshole). Unless it’s Gus from Floribama Shore. It can always be Gus. He makes me go . . . .



It’s also been established that when these covers first started becoming the latest trend, I had no idea they would be . . . .



For real. I was expecting PG-13 and not the shock and awe of a full-blown porny good time. I also wasn’t expecting real life issues to be within the book bindings. I realize this might not work for everyone who goes in simply hoping to get their freak on, but recently I’ve read subplots regarding infertility, custody issues and now divorce and each time I’ve been like . . . .



In the best way.

Now, full disclosure here, I wanted to 1 Star this because the big reveal (not a spoiler) of the why behind the potential breakup between Gavin and Thea was that he discovered he has never provided her something during their three-year marriage . . . . .



I get that might be a blow to the ego, but seriously? You want to pout alllllll the way out of the house and away from your kids because YOU suck at sex? You don’t deserve a wife, bro. Buuuuuuuuut, I kept plugging along because seriously that title is everything and of course there were deeper issues (again not a spoiler) that these two didn’t really even know each other before tying the knot and like Vicki Gunvalson would say on the Housewhores – their love tanks weren’t full. And then there was the fact that these alpha males all solved their marital problems via way of books like . . . .



So how could I not love it? Well, I probably could have found a way (again, asshole), but when you add a Major League baseball player into the mix my brain automatically goes . . . .



Even if dude is supposed to be a second baseman and not a pitcher. Which then equals . . . .



As well as . . . .

“At least a BB Four.”

“Do I want to know what that means?”

“Book Boner.”

And a Kelly who snarfed this one down like a Mississippi Mud Cake. All the Stars.

ARC provided by Berkley in exchange for an honest review. I need the second one. Preferably immediately.

Wild Like the Wind by Kristen Ashley

2 Stars

In case you aren’t familiar with this series, here is a gifified Cliffs’ Notes to catch you up. Each of them starts with a male and female lead who are not meant to be together. It may be for a hate-to-love trope, or an ill-fated romance or (in this case) because a relationship between the two is strictly verboten, but whatever the case they can’t be together. Which then pretty much immediately morphs into the first 40-50% of the books going a little something like this . . . .







And will have your kids overhearing words they shouldn’t know and you coming up with fast-on-your-feet alternate definitions . . . .



Eventually they stop being only a bangfest and you get a little emotion and depth and then they end in a happily-ever-after and you go to the library either the next day or the next month to get the next one because . . . . .



I’m not even kidding either. I mean, I pretty much creamed my jeans over Motorcycle Man which was the jumping off point that spurred this Chaos series, but none of the other books particularly knocked my socks off. I keep reading ‘em though! It’s been a couple of years since my last foray into Ashley’s motorbiker world, but the time change totally fucks me up and my job changed again a couple of weeks ago and Billy’s book hadn’t been released yet (you know what I’m talking ‘bout if you are a pornohead) and I should have just bought Crux Untamed, but this was available at the library and I needed some trash so I figured what the hell.

I had told myself I wasn’t going to read this because I wasn’t a super fan of the leading male throughout the series. Not only is it hard to picture anyone other than my husband . . . .



When they have the same name, but this dude was like literally a fucking nutcase who slit dude’s throats for a living, but since I know how these KA stories go, I knew he’d go from crazy to . . . .



In about 3.2 seconds.

What I didn’t know was that Ashley is a bit out of touch with all forms of humanity and she would present the leading lady with long black hair down to her butt and an excessive amount of bone necklaces and feathers and bullshit to let us know just how Native American she was . . . .



(If you didn’t think I was going to take that easy layup of a joke, you obviously don’t know me very well.)

I also didn’t know that the reason these two were forbidden from being together was because her husband was murdered and a “brother” can’t ever bang another brother’s old lady. WTF?!?!?!?!?



So FUCKING 18 YEARS goes by and then they finally admit they have feelings. But they have to keep it secret and will just be fuck buddies and then will still keep it secret even though he is pretty much moved into her house and then he has to get the shit beat out of him by anyone who thinks they shouldn’t be together due to this absolutely assbackward mindset where apparently you are still cheating on your spouse even though he’s already rotted in the grave for fucking eternity before moving on. And THEN to top everything off it has to end with them having a baby – despite her being in her mid-40s and having not one but TWO grown ass men children already because EVERY old broad like me just dreams of starting all over again for another 18 years . . . .



JFC – not everything has to end with a baby. Or even getting married. They could have just shacked up for the rest of their lives and that would have been good enough for me.

Oh, and one final thing: The cartel B.S. is still hinted about sporadically in this one. I assume this whole sub-story will come to a head in the final book, but what a freaking waste of time and pages it has been so far. Either shit or get off the pot already.

Little Weirds by Jenny Slate

4 Stars

Looky looky – it’s the annual “Kelly Actually Posts a Review of a Book on #pubday” post!

I don’t really know if Little Weirds will work for everyone, but boy oh boy did it work for me. To begin with, let’s take another gander at the cover . . . .



Oh, it’s just so perfect. And the insides pretty much match the outside. It’s just a jumble of truly “little weirds” conjured up by Jenny Slate’s oddball brain. (Spoiler alert: I had no clue she was such a wordsmith, but wowza does she know how to use gajillions of the entries that can be found in the nearest Webster’s.) Basically, this is the literary equivalent of . . . .



Delightful.

Now to be very clear, I have had a massive girlcrush on Jenny Slate for quite some time. From her accidental dropping of an F Bomb on my standing Saturday night television watching date . . . .



(Which, unfortunately, led to her promptly being fired).

To her stealing the scene as a guest star on another fave, Parks and Rec . . . .



To her voiceover work . . . .



To me trying to figure out how to rob a Brink’s armored truck in order to buy her childhood home that is currently on the market . . . .



(And don’t even ask the level of commitment my stalkery has taken that I discovered that bit of information because I don’t even remember.)

To her drunken narration of the invention of Coca-Cola . . . . .



To her new stand-up special on Netflix – I simply adore her and I adored everything about this book – so much so that I’m breaking the rules and posting a taste despite receiving an advanced copy . . . .

A Tender Thief

One time, my dog sneaked six licks of coffee from my mug. I caught him on the sixth and I’m certain that he would have gone all the way. But I did catch him on the sixth. After he’d had his coffee he went and he stretched out on the armchair and spent a long time by the window, and I thought, “At least he knows how to have coffee property, even though he is a thief.”

Buy the book if you want, don’t buy the book if you don’t want, I don’t really care. I’m just happy to have these little weirds in my own life. However, you all should do yourself a favor and watch Jenny define a “Shit Show” . . . . .

https://twitter.com/drunkhistory/stat...



ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

2 Stars

I’m going to be 100% honest here and state that I continuously pick up books that have the potential of presenting the “Eleanor Oliphant” factor. In case you aren’t familiar, these are stories that feature a quirky-to-spectrum type of main character as she navigates the world with all of her friends and family telling her . . . . .



I don’t expect (or even desire) some humdinger of a plot twist in all of them like Eleanor provided – I just enjoy the nearly guaranteed character growth of the leading lady (or man) combined with the eventual understanding by the supporting cast that it’s okay to be different and all of the good feelings that go along with it. Unfortunately when it came to Convenience Store Woman my reaction was a bit different . . . . .



Not only was Keiko obviously more than just a bit quirky, she was so far on the spectrum that the only way she managed to maneuver through life was by having a very structured routine and using the Eric Trump method of “how to act like a person” form of mimicry in any social situation . . . . .



The fact that no one (especially her family) recognized Keiko’s differences and instead not only berated her for only being a part-time clerk with no husband or children, but did so to the point where Keiko found herself in a completely dysfunctional co-habitation situation because that’s what she thought she was supposed to do made me feel super gross while I was reading it. Maybe there was some sort of dark form of humor that just got lost in translation (possibly quite literally) for me????

Wild Game - My Mother, Her Lover and Me by Adrienne Brodeur

4 Stars

Soooooooooooooooooooooo apparently this is a thing . . . . .



Which of course I didn’t know about but somehow was well-prepared for anyway due to my lack of timely reviewing. Here’s a selection that I read on September 1st and never wrote imaged up.

Full disclosure: I was offered an advanced copy of Wild Game and took it as soon as I saw the comparison to . . . . .



I don't think I'll ever stop doubting why Average Joes feel their story is one to be told, – especially ones like The Glass Castle or this that air alllllllllllllllllllllll of the family’s dirty laundry to the world. I automatically assume it’s due to the fact that . . . . .



That being said, I totally get why a publishing house would pick up this story because I pretty much looked like this while I was reading it . . . .



There’s just something about the trainwreck factor that sucks me right in. And the story here about a mother using her child as her confidante as she engages in a decades-long affair with her husband’s best friend????


Malabar (Barf, right? How could she not be a complete douche?) would have made for a great Real Housewife of Cape Code and could have seriously used a copy of the APA’s Textbook of Psychiatry . . . . .



4 Stars for the un-put-down-able factor.

ARC provided by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt in exchange for an honest review.