Monday, July 17, 2017

Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan


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1 Star

I had originally planned on giving this 2 Stars because apparently I’m a nicer version of me in 2017 and I’m not handing out 1 Stars like candy, but simply taking a once-over of my notes and highlights has me looking a little like . . . .



I can’t remember the last time I read a character I despised as much as I did Ashley – and I’m someone who reads about rapists, murders and drug dealers on the regular, so that’s saying something. Ashley is the reason stupid bullshit like “Mommy Wars” exist. She is the epitome of why we can’t have nice things.

Ashley spends her days as an “accidental stay-at-home mom.” She bemoans the fact that she pretty much lives a real-life episode of Hoarders due to her lack of housekeeping abilities and can’t find time to shower or lose the paunch that’s forced her to only be able to wear yoga pants for the past eight months ever since her daughter was born, but somehow manages to make it to Michael’s Michelle’s crafts in order to drop $300 on the latest Pinterest craze or while away the hours on social media . . . .

“What’s Facebook? It’s where moms like me post about how much we love the husbands who annoy the living bejesus out of us, and share expertly edited photos of our kids and generally talk about our lives like we’re living in an enchanted fairy tale blessed by rainbow angel unicorns. In short, it’s for lying. But I’m addicted.”

Sidenote: If you can relate to the above post and are on my friend list, please delete do me a favor and delete me. On the other hand, if you think Facebook is for funny cat videos and memes about how you want to kill your co-workers then please make sure we solidify our best friend status immediately.

When Ashley discovers an online competition being put on by the most successful mommy guru in all of the interwebs, she thinks that will inspire her to get her life together. I thought it would too, but unfortunately the “redemption arc” (if you can even call it that) was done at the eleventh hour and I spent the entire book screaming things at my Kindle such as . . .



Not to mention the mommy blog character reminded me of my arch nemesis . . . .



I’d rather be this lady and hang with the coolest of all faithful sidekicks, thank you very little . . . .



The only thing I had going for me was the hope that her bubble of bullshit would burst. Which OF COURSE it did, because this was the most basic effing storyline in the history of the universe where no one really has their life together and we all just fake it ‘til we make it so we should all support each other as women and kumbaya the fuck out of life and pleasegodgivemecancertosavemefromthisstupidity.

If this one works for you, great. (Don’t forget to see the above note about deleting and/or blocking me first, though). I had never heard of Bunmi Laditan before requesting this from the library (which I did courtesy of the catchy title on the GR spam recommendation pop-up). After taking a quick looksee at a couple of other 1-Star reviews, it appears her blog/Facebook/whatever she did before this book deal is humorous and not insufferable like this book. After reading Confessions of a Domestic Failure I really have no interest in looking into her any further, however. And also, to Jenny Lawson who blurbed . . . .

“Freaking hilarious. This is the novel moms have been waiting for.”

Really????

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