Friday, December 9, 2016

Truth or Beard by Penny Reid

23314731
4 Stars

Thanks to the new and improved Overdrive when I go to the library website looking for some porn super smart scientific journals that aren’t part of the current catalog I have the option of not only one-clicking a “yes, please buy me that smut because I am poor” button, but I also get to see the available-for-request smut. Hence the reason this first Winston Brothers book ended up on my Kindle. Let’s be honest, it didn’t take much convincing other than the title and cover. After all . . . .



I started reading this when things got real slow at work right before closing time (because classy and also should be employee of the year). At 2% there was a “Piggly Wiggly” reference and I knew I was in it to win it because . . . .



Ouch. Harsh, Regina George. I was going to say because I am a cheap sell and trigger words like “Piggly Wiggly” (or “road trip”) translate instantly to more Starzzzzzzzzz. Anyway, not only was there the talk of the Wiggly of the Piggly, but there was also a case of mistaken identity and our leading lady (who has returned to town to be the local calculus teacher) believing one twin to be her lifelong crush leading to . . . .

“I’d given him a penis stroke under false pretenses.”

The above happened at about the 15% mark, which is where I left off for the night. I’d allow my husband to tell you how much he enjoyed my reading up to that point, but . . . .



I will say he’s lucky he cashed in on his golden ticket early because while I thought this was going to be nothing but nonstop banging, things took a turn and . . . .



Turns out our leading male was of the sensitive variety and was looking for a happily ever after rather than just a quick trip to Pound Town. But that was okay, because this story was freaking adorable. First there was a bit of the love/hate stuff . . . .

“I hope you wander into a hornet’s nest and die of an acetylcholine overdose,” I spat.

“You say the prettiest things.”


Then there was Jessica’s internal voice which was hilarious and also featured a running soundtrack consisting of things like Paula Abdul’s “Rush Rush.” Remember that song? Man, Keanu Reeves. I probably humped the ol’ pilla a time or twelve thinking about that video . . . .



Where was I? Oh yeah, this book I read. Then there was Duane, the perfect male lead . . .

“My momma once told me, you don’t need to be pushed in order to fall. I don’t think you’ll need to do much pushing, Jessica.”

I’ll admit I was a bit worried because he was a ginger and I’m a one man kind of woman when it comes to those . . . .



Yes really. (WAVES TO PRINCE HARRY!!!!) But really when it comes down to it, in a book like this it’s about one main thing . . . .



Preferably 9 or 10.

There was also a little sideplot featuring a motorcycle gang and a blackmail scheme to make you feel like you’re reading something a little better than Alexa Riley pure pornography.

I put myself on the wait list immediately for the other Winston Brothers book the library already had – and then found out it’s #3 instead of #2 . . . .



GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PORNY LIBRARIAN! And also Penny Reid – we all fucking want Billy’s story. By the time Book 6 rolls around I’ll be over this series and all of its will they or won’t they and too many pages for not enough story and definitely not enough smushsmush and I’ll be ready to murder the entire Winston family. GIVE US BILLY NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

1 comment:

  1. I swear to god that someone in my neighborhood is also a big reader of your blog, because the New Books list on our ebook site is basically just a list of the things that you've reviewed for the past month. FANS!

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