Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Freeks by Amanda Hocking

2 Stars

Man I was really looking forward to this. I mean, just look at that cover!!!!! I’ve also read plenty of Amanda Hocking in what I now refer to as “the time I was brainwashed and inducted as a member in the Twilight cult,” so I wasn’t even scurrrrrrred that I’d hate it. And I didn’t hate it – I just didn’t like it very much either. (In the immortal words of one Roger Murtaugh - I think I’m getting too old for this shit.)

But let’s get on with the show, shall we????


(Except this one takes place in the 1980s and never effing stops reminding you about it with not-so-subtle insertions of things like “I’m assuming you’re Corey Hart” (‘cause dudebrah wears his sunglasses at night) or popping out to the local video store to snatch up a copy of Top Gun and Weird Science or making sure to crank the volume on the ol’ Tears for Fears.)

Gideon Davorin’s Traveling Show has come to town for one reason and one reason only. It’s broke. An offer of a week-long gig with a hefty paycheck has the caravan rolling and ready to give the locals something they won't soon forget . . . .

This is your typical freak show complete with strong man, bearded lady, dude who can swallow swords, etc. It’s also where Mara (who so far has not been blessed with a special ability) lives with her psychic mother. When presented an opportunity to pretend she’s just a normal girl and hang out with a local boy Mara jumps at the chance. But it doesn’t take long for the reader to start to think things might not be exactly what they seem . . . .

And for members of the troupe to start disappearing.

As I said before, I’ve read plenty of Hocking’s books before and for the most part they were okay for me. This one just wasn’t great, however. The whole ‘80s thing was trying to hard, Gabe’s secret was a little too obvious, there were way too many pages for such a small amount of plot, and worst of all I’m not exactly sure who the audience was supposed to be since it read really young but there was uhhhhhhhh penetration if ya know what I mean. But please remember who is talking. When I saw that cover and title my brain went one direction and one direction only . . . .

And when someone pulls out a hidden weapon in order to lay the smackdown, pretty much everything is going to pale in comparison to what I’m thinking of . . . .

Too soon???????? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!

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