Monday, November 9, 2015

Perfect Days by Raphael Montes

3 Stars
Might as well go ahead and file this one under “that awkward moment when a book about a nutter who kidnaps the girl of his dreams isn’t quite weird enough to please me” . . .

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Perfect Days had a ton of potential. I mean the very first chapter started off by explaining how the main character Teo (a medical student), has made besties for the resties with a fellow classmate named Gertrude. The only problem? Gertrude is the cadaver . . .

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Ahhhh, quit being such a stiff! It’s not like they had the smexy relations.

The story goes on to show Teo meeting the female lead, Clarice, for the first time. The two exchange pleasantries at a party, Teo ummmmm acquires Clarice’s number and he sets his sights on making sure another meet-cute happens in the future. When Clarice isn’t appreciative of Teo’s advances, he realizes it’s just because she needs more time to get to know him. He’s nothing if not a real giver, so he arranges a romantic getaway for the two of them and refuses to take no for an answer . . . .

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The remainder of the story is how Teo and Clarice’s relationship ummmmmm evolves over time . . .

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And here’s the part where I become kind of a butthole. I liked Teo and his tale of Perfect Days just fine – I just didn’t like like him. I mean, obviously I enjoy nutty stories and dark subject matter and I 100% saw the pitch-black humor that was contained within the pages of this book . . .

“On days when Clarice was in a bad mood, he avoided being around her. He suspected she might have some sort of bipolar disorder, that it was pathological.”

^^^^Hehehehe. That’s good stuff. Unfortunately, there was something missing in this one and I have to blame it on a man named Joe . . .

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If you have already fallen in some form of creepy, dermanged love with met Joe, you’ll totally understand. If you haven’t met Joe, you should make it a priority to do so ASAP. When writing about a despicable character and taboo subject matter, an author reaaaaaaally needs to be willing to go there. He or she has two options: (1) Write the most horrible person you can that your readers will love to hate (Brett Easton Ellis and Herman Koch are farkin’ EXPERTS at this) or (2) Write the most horrible person you can and make your readers fall in love with him (see Joe above and also Dexter). Whichever path is chosen, the plot has to GO. THERE. There can be no pause, no break in momentum, the story simply has to be balls to the wall with crazy. Bottom line, as bizarre as it may sound, Perfect Days just didn’t go far enough for me. That being said, my friend Elyse found it to be 5-Star perfection, so I will probably end up being the odd one out when this is finally released.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!

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