Thursday, May 7, 2015

Cruelty: Episodes One-Five by Edward Lorn

“Look, some freaky shit is happening and I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is . . . something’s not right.”

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As soon as I started reading Cruelty I realized it’s been a LOOOOOONG time since I’ve read a real horror story. I’ve never been a Koontz fan, Saul and Straub were read back when I was a wee little emoticon in my high school glory days, and King hasn’t written what I’d call horror horror in quite some time. defines horror as:

“an overwhelming and painful feeling caused by something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; a shuddering fear.”


“centered upon or depicting terrifying or macabre events.”

I define it as . . .


and . . .

“Don’t even THINK about f-ing raining while I’m reading this or I will freak the f*&^ out!”

In case you couldn’t read between the lines from the above, this story is of the edge of your seat/nightmare inducing scary variety.

I’m not going to tell you much about what goes down – that’s kind of the entire point of reading a horror novel. I’ll just throw a couple of tidbits out there.

First, the only thing that even comes close to being as scary as a clown is Mitchell . . .

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I may never sleep again.

Second, a good horror story has to have an ample amount of characters because at some point . . .

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and it sucks to be able to see who is going to be the next to get whacked from a mile away. Not only did Cruelty provide a plethora of peeps, but backstory and little idiosyncrasies were provided for nearly every single one.

It also doesn’t hurt to throw man’s best friend into the mix. Lorn writes a damn good dog . . .

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Hell, I’m pretty sure Ed writes a damn good anything.

As for what is going on and what the end result is going to be????

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Yep. I have not a clue, but man is the ride enjoyable. And as for who the real bad guy is? I’m not positive, but I’m fairly certain he has to be a distant relative of this fella . . .

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The only complaint I can really make at all? The use of familiar names called to mind other characters. “Duchamp” will only ever be . . .

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(I think I did too, Teddy)

and anyone named “Longmire” is automatically . . .

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AMEN! Let’s hit it, Walt.

As always, I don’t give Edward Lorn’s books a star rating per his request since we are friends. (Spoiler alert: This one would get 4.) Cruelty was my 7th Lorn read and I am clearly a raving lunatic fan. So much so that ever since Ed informed he’s working on a special story just for me Mitchell I have looked something like this . . .

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Only whiter.

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