Before She Knew Him by Peter Swanson

4.5 Stars

Before we begin, let’s talk about this cover for a second . . . .



Now that that is out of the way, we can talk about the book – kinda – maybe. Per usual, this is one full of spoiley spoils I want to barf out all over the place and twists and reveals that if you knew about them beforehand would ruin all the fun of reading it, so I can’t say much.

What I will say is nosey neighbor meets the new people next door and immediately comes to the conclusion the hubs is a serial killer?????



I mean for real. I could read a book a week with this plotline. And should I ever run out of books? That’s what Shia Labeouf is for . . . . .



Well, that and this . . . .



But that’s more of a spank bank type of experience rather than a stabby one.

Where was I? Oh yeah this book I can’t talk about. I picked this one up because I enjoyed The Kind Worth Killing okay and wanted to give Swanson another go. I was not disappointed. You have the potentially murdery new guy, the neighborhood Nancy Drew sticking her nose into things she should probably leave alone, and to top it all off she’s not a particularly reliable narrator . . . .

“I was sure it was schizophrenia, because of your uncle. But turns out you’re just batshit crazy like everyone else in this family.”

However, at times she’s pretty entertaining . . . .

“What were you talking about with Matthew Dolamore?”

“He kills people,” she said.

“What?”

“That’s not news. I’ve already told you that.”

I will say that I did see the big reveal coming, but I still sucked this down like a fat girl me with cake . . . .



Recommended.

The Au Pair by Emma Rous

3.5 Stars

I held off on reading this one due to my friends’ “meh” reactions. But that cover kept calling to me like a dang siren song so I eventually broke down and added myself to the library wait list. I lowered my expectations when my turn came around, but really all I really would have needed to prepare myself to enjoy this was to glance at the name dropping of V.C. Andrews. If you’re of a certain age, you probably know what I’m talking about . . . .



Oh, such trashy childhood good times were spent with a V.C. Andrews’ book in my grubby little paws. The comparison here is a fitting one too. You have to be ready for a seriously over-the-top reveal much like that your granny may have watched on her daytime “stories.” And you have to be in the mood to read about how the other half lives . . . . .



As you uncover the truth behind what really happened on the day Seraphine and her twin Danny were born and their mother threw herself off of the nearby cliffs.

This was 100% an escape from reality for me and I practically inhaled the thing. 3 Stars with a bonus half for that cover.

Fuck Marriage by Tarryn Fisher

2 Stars

I’ve mentioned enough times to turn the dead horse into nothing but a pulpy mess that Tarryn Fisher is a bit of a hit or miss author for me. That being said, she’s one of the only authors the pornbrary doesn’t stock on the regular so I know I will be one-clicking whatever her new release is the day it comes out. Such was the case with Fuck Marriage both for the aforementioned pulpy horse reasons, as well because when I began reading I discovered this was going to be the story of a cheated on divorcee who seeks revenge on her ex/his new fiancé by . . . . banging him???? That’s unfortunate. I think the rational thing for a woman in that position to do would be double homicide, but hey I’m not the writer. I reset my sights and prepared myself for a super soap opera-ish good time. And that was 100% okay, because . . . .



And all was good – or at least readable – until about the halfway mark. Then . . . . .



Seriously. WTF happened? Did some bills need to get paid so this thing had to be released pronto? Did someone else write it? (For real, that’s what it seems and if that is the case, Dear Tarryn Fisher: Your co-writer is turrrrrrrrrrrrible at his (or her, but my Spidey Senses tell me it might have been a him) job.) I’ll still be first in line when The Wives comes out later this year, but this one?????




ORIGINAL "REVIEW:"

File this under awkward emails with husband . . .

ME: FYI I just bought a $4 Kindle book in case you see that random amount come through

HUSBAND: What did you get?

ME:

ME: Fuck Marriage

HUSBAND TWO HOURS LATER: *crickets*

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

4 Stars

Red, White and Royal Blue is a story you might be familiar with . . . .

“Oh my God, this is like all those romantic comedies where the girl hires a male escort to pretend to be her wedding date and then falls in love with him for real.”

The only difference? This time it’s the Prince of England . . . .



And the son of the President of the United States . . . .



Who are forced to play nice after a melee between the two at a royal wedding goes viral, leaving the world questioning the state of affairs between the two allied countries. You know what happens next, right?????

“You are the absolute worst idea I’ve ever had.”



This book was absolutely adorkable. Surprisingly sexy (why do I keep getting fooled that these cutesy covers contain stories that don’t bring the heat?????), but low on angst and high on banter and pop-culture-referencey good times . . . .

“All this time, I thought I was the Ferris Bueller of this relationship.”

“What, did you think I was Sloane?”

This is a read that will have you saying . . . .



For anyone who wants to comment that this story isn’t realistic or what-have-you, I say: NO SHIT. It’s a romance, they aren’t steeped in reality. But wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where it could be?

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you, NetGalley!

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman

5 Stars

After reading Other People’s Houses I knew Abbi Waxman was going to be a go-to gal for me and I was all over trying to obtain an early copy of her new release. But alas the gods at the Galley of the Net declined me quicker than a jackrabbit on a date. Lucky for me I have a homey at Berkley (okay, full disclosure, I don’t think said person is aware that she is considered a homey of mine, but rest assured she definitely is) and I got a paperback hook up. And since I’m nothing but fail I read the publication date as 4/9/19 when I perused the “basket of shame” which contains ARCs, immediately panicked that I was over a month late to the party and proceeded to read it over the weekend. I just now noticed that this doesn’t come out until July - which kinda sucks because y’all need to add it to your TBR, but also is kinda perfect because summer is when you should read things that are light and fun and make you smile and this fits the bill perfectly.

The story here is of Nina Hill. She’s certainly bookish – both an avid reader by hobby as well as a bookseller by trade. Nina is perfectly content to live her quiet, structured life (à la her heroine Monica Geller) consisting of various book clubs, participating in trivia competitions with her friends on their team “Book ‘Em, Dano,” contemplating the invention of the bullet journal and meaningful conversations with her cat Phil. What Nina would have never expected was to discover the father she never knew left her a legacy of a family she never thought she would have upon his passing or that actual romance might come her way rather than just the make-believe kind she was used to experiencing via Jane Austen re-reads and movie viewings.

Now I know you’re not supposed to quote early copies because they are subject to change before release date. However, (1) rules are meant to be broken and (2) I don’t think they should change one word so Imma post something in order for you to figure out if you’d like to add some Nina to your life this summer. (Spoiler alert: The answer is yes, you do want to add some Nina to your life.)

“I really shouldn’t drink at all; I’m hopeless at it. I get drunk right away, then hungover two hours later. I don’t do it well.”

“So, not a boozer, then, that’s what you’re saying?”

“I usually end up crying.”

“Wow. Then yeah, you should stick to soda.”

“Soda makes me fart.”

Very rarely does a book come along that has me saying . . . .



It made me have a “smiling’s my favorite” kind of day and I never wanted it to end. All the Starz.

Endless thanks to Berkley for putting this little slice of perfect in my hands early in exchange for an honest review.

I Ain't Doin' It by Heather Land

1 Star

Before anyone gets it twisted and starts throwing the term “hater” at me or saying (once again) that I suck turtles, let’s get something real clear. I am the target demographic for this woman’s viral videos, can relate to allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of them and have been pushing her on my friends for years. When I heard she was branching out into an actual traveling stand-up show I couldn’t have been happier and I was also the one who forced the library into buying this audio book for my listening pleasure. That being said, I checked this out believing it would be a (welcome) extension of Heather Land’s fifteen minutes of fame. I would not have been disappointed if it was simply a regurge of all of her videos from hating pumpkin spice to people in PJs at the Wal-Mart – just minus the Snapchat filter, of course. At minimum I thought this would be hilarious. What I didn’t sign up for was some sort of mutant inspirational, motivational speaker type mumbo jumbo with nary even a chuckle to be found. To that I say . . . .

Those People by Louise Candlish

5 Stars

Those People is the story of what happens when a picture perfect neighborhood like this . . . .



Is infiltrated by new people who have inherited one of the houses that happen to be a little more like this . . . .



What are the established residents to do????

“We’ve said we’ll give it till the end of the month and then . . . “

“And then what?”

“Then we kill them.”

Starting in the present where there is, in fact, a dead body and immediately reversing eight weeks into the past so the reader can learn exactly who is dead and how they came to be that way, Louise Candlish’s newest release might make some reminiscent of Liane Moriarty’s approach to storytelling in Big Little Lies. Simply put, this is my wheelhouse. I freely admit that as soon as I see a cover with a house in it, I’m all like . . . . .



And I’ll take any excuse to confirm that . . . .



I enjoyed Our House, but admitted the ending kind of lost me. However, the little extra added on here??????



This is a must add for some summertime fun. All the Starz!

ARC provided by Berkley in exchange for an honest review.