Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig

2.5 Stars

Wrong Reader, Party of One??? Yep, that’s me! I put Ginny Moon on hold at the library because every single one of my friends who read it gave it at least 4 Stars. Now that school has started I’m assigned the task of finding stories my book-hating (I know, the hospital obviously gave me the wrong baby, but he’s grown on us over the years) kid might actually want to read without me tying him down and forcing him. One thing I know for certain is it won’t be this one because I pretty much looked like this the entire time I was reading it . . . .



Put your rocks and pitchforks down and give me a second to explain myself.

I’m not even sure if this is a young adult selection or not, but that really doesn’t matter. We’ve discovered the kid succeeds with “contemporary realistic fiction” so as long as I read the book first and make sure it’s not too adult for his developing brain to wrap itself around, it doesn’t really matter if it was marketed for teens or grown-ups. That being said, a lot of parents would be uncomfortable with the content here and obviously that’s totally up to each family to decide for themselves.

I am also not familiar enough with autistic children to determine how accurate Ginny’s voice was. To someone inexperienced such as myself, she seemed very realistic. Again, I’m sure there are others who will bash this character and/or the author and become super “offended” by her portrayal, but since it’s not a trigger for me I can’t participate in that party.

So let’s get to the plot. The story here is of Ginny Moon (you don’t say, huh?). Ginny was taken from her birth mother when she was nine years old due to severe neglect and placed in the foster care program. Fastforward nearly five years to the present and a Ginny who has been adopted by her “Forever Family.” The only problem is that Ginny has more than a bit of a tunnel-vision issue when it comes to a certain Baby Doll that was left behind all those years ago and she is willing to do anything to get back to it.

The above leads to my biggest issue with this book and why I won’t be recommending it to my kid . . . .



Ginny Moon was FIVE HUNDRED PAGES long. I understand the reader kind of has to become part of “the loop” which is Ginny’s thought process, but this thing should have been cut down to half the size. I’m going to try real hard not to spoil things, but let me just say as a grown up, it was 100% clear what was going on with the Baby Doll immediately and it should have been for all of the other adults in Ginny’s life as well which equaled a Kelly and Mitchell who kept getting more and more perturbed.

Leading to the other problem. The “Forever Mother” . . . .



I can’t remember the last time a character infuriated me this much. I mean I was literally screaming at my Kindle at one point. As the story developed, the less believable it was that this woman would have ever went along with adopting a special needs child to begin with. I mean, I know first-hand that pregnancy/new baby/postpartum can make you go a little batshit, but Ginny was a child with serious issue even before the “miracle pregnancy” happened just like the “Forever Mother” was probably a giant bitch way before then too. Ginny came into their lives looking like she “came out of a concentration camp.” She was a child with severe food issues (up to the point where a lock had to be put on the refrigerator to stop her from gorging herself and vomiting every day). She had been removed from another foster home due to an “incident” with the family cat. She had impulse control problems to the point of putting herself in harm’s way repeatedly. There is not one part of me that believes this woman would have adopted this child and when the whole point of the story is how realistic it is supposed to be, it becomes a glaring neon sign. But like I said, everyone else loved it, so you probably will too. 2.5 Stars for me : (

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

3 Stars

I had a pretty sever book hangover after finishing She Rides Shotgun and needed a “buffer read” before starting something new. This was exactly what I expected it to be. Except for the *cough penetration cough*. Times have changed! Anyway, what can I say? I’m a pretty cheap sell when it comes to werewolf books. After all, I am the woman who not only called a radio station for weeks on end in order to win tickets to the early screening of New Moon, but who also attended said screening with her boss while wearing this shirt:








#noregrets #teamjacob4eva



If you loved The Twilight Saga unapologetically and still like to get your teenie bopper howl on, you might find this one to be aiiiiight as well. You know. For science . . . . . 

Emma In The Night by Wendy Walker

2 Stars

Oh Wendy Walker . . . . . .



Boy oh boy did a certain pig head go into this with seriously high expectations after reading All Is Not Forgotten. It’s a bummer this one didn’t work so well.

Per usual, since this is a mystery/thriller not a lot can be said without potentially ruining someone else’s good time. The basics are three years ago Emma and her sister Cass disappeared in the night. Emma’s abandoned car, purse and keys were found at the local beach. Nothing belong to Cass was located. Fast forward to the present where Cass shows up at her house, leaving everyone asking . . . . 



What follows is a wibbly-wobbly timey wimey tale of what happened to the two girls – not only during the three years since they went missing, but also about their entire upbringing . . . . . 

“Aren’t I a good mother? The best mother you could ever want?” 



The main problem I had with Emma In The Night was that I found it super boring. I don’t necessarily mind an unbelievable story behind a mystery and I definitely don’t mind unreliable and/or unlikeable narrators. What I do mind is feeling like a book that was barely over 300 pages was more like 500 due to the trip to Dullsville it took me on. Normally when I read a book, I’m in it - like 100000000%. Even books I hate I tend to become fully vested in for the simple fact that if I’m going to rage out, I better be able to explain what made me ragey. When I find myself taking breaks to put another load of laundry in the machine or start thinking about what sounds good for dinner, it’s not a great sign. 

Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you, NetGalley!

The Fourth Monkey by J.D. Barker

5 Stars

The Fourth Monkey popped up on my radar months ago after a friend 5-Starred it. However, due to the fact that I’m well aware that my friends are much kinder and way less judgey than me, I didn’t bother requesting an ARC. Then more 5s started appearing, including one from a certain someone who is judgey like me . . . but who also has a well-known love for evil monkeys so I still wasn’t 100% sold. It was also too late to request a reader copy so I had to put myself on hold at the library. It seemed another friend was doling out alllllllll the Stars daily by the time my turn came up Saturday night . . . . 



Ouch. But sticks and stones because it turns out I wasn’t the one to poop the party! Who will the honor go to???? (Spoiler Alert: Probably Ron 2.0.)

Our story escalates pretty quickly when the local serial killer has an unfortunate run-in on his way to mail a package . . . . 



Detectives Porter and Nash have been working the “Four Monkey Killer” case for the past five years ever since the first white package was delivered. Those packages have arrived fairly regularly ever since . . . . 



Well, seven really, but the whole story here is finding the eighth before she croaks since the perp can’t really tell anyone where she’s being held.

This thing was just flat out awesome. I’m a hard sell when it comes to thrillers, because they ALWAYS crap the bed somehow. And while this one wasn’t exactly perfect when it came to the big reveal (if you want to talk in spoilers in the comments below, I’m more than happy to because maybe I just missed something), in the end it didn’t really matter.

The bad guy was amazingly bad . . . . 



The brutality of the murders was deliciously squicky. And while there was an obvious comparison to “What’s In The Box?!?!?!?!”, the fact that it was acknowledged made it all A-Okay . . . . 

“Open it up, Nash.”

“Maybe we should flip for it. I had to open the last one.”

“No, I insist. I saw Seven – if Gwyneth’s head is in there, the image will be stuck in my mind for months. This is all you. Be a man.” 

^^^Great, right? Which brings me to the humorous undertone that was present throughout . . . . 

“Are you escaping?”

“What?”

“You’re wearing scrubs and you look a little rough to be on staff.”

“No, nothing like that. [SPOILER OMMITTED] stabbed me in the leg with a kitchen knife, then left me for dead in my kitchen. I couldn’t find my clothes, so I took these.”

“Smart-ass.” 

Porter and Nash were excellent leads, but the real magic came from the surrounding cast of characters. Especially Kloz, the computer programmer turned detective who wasn’t afraid to engage in some questionable activity in order to find what he was looking for.

Not to mention the clues that were presented were so minor, and yet all made such sense in the end . . . . 

“Some change, a dry cleaner receipt, a fedora, the pocket watch . . . . what does it all mean?”

“Puzzle it out.” 

Oh, and it’s not what you might be thinking . . . . 



There was even an awesome soundtrack provided that had a kickass explanation . . . .



I’m not a girl who likes a kitchen sink thrown in to the mix at the end of a whodunit, but even an exception for that has to be made here because dat lil’ summin’ summin’ more?????



Okay, really my reaction was probably more like . . . . 



Recommend to ANYONE who likes a bit of the stabby stabby.

Comfort Food by Kitty Thomas

4 Stars

“Today I found something beautiful and decided to break it. I wanted to see it shatter in my hand and crumble at my feet.”
I have owned this book for nearly five years and have only considered reading it twice. I picked it up when my friend Sammy pointed out it was free one day without bothering to read the synopsis. Once I did I put it on the backburner knowing it would have to be a “right place/right time” type of read for me. The right place/right time ended up being right after a book was banned from Amazon for being soooooo offensive – when in reality it was more eye-rolly (new word) than anything else. (And for those in the cheap seats, NEITHER of those offenses should result in book banning.) I decided to finally give Comfort Food a shot now due to it being another selection about “offensive” subject matter – but somehow that subject matter has become one of the greatest love stories of all time to humans around the globe . . . .



The story here is about Emily, a self-help guru who knows that you should never leave your drink unattended at a bar – but never thought something nefarious would happen to her at a mixer after her own speaking engagement . . . .



Emily wakes up locked in a basement - held by a man who never speaks to her, but only brings her . . . .



The rules are simple: Comply with his wishes and be fed. Don’t??????



(^^^^Changing your perspective about your fave Disney romance yet, kids?)

The more she’s willing to tolerate, the better her treatment will be. The menu will improve as well – from chicken noodle soup to actual fried chicken, taters, biscuits and all the other trimmings . . . . .



She just has to do whatever he wants.

Okay, so here’s the deal. This is shelved by most Goodreads users as erotica and per the disclaimer at the end of the blurb apparently it was marketed as erotica as well. I’m telling you right now that I don’t get it. I don’t see many readers picking this up because they’ll get off on it. It is, however, a pretty dang good rendering of Stockholm Syndrome. 4 Stars because there were things that didn’t jive for me that I think were included in an attempt to morph it into some twist on BDSM when really it should have just been left as fucked up dark fiction.

Lingus by Mariana Zapata

3.5 Stars

“You need some cock in your life, and he knows what he’s doing!”
Mariana Zapata is an author who has popped up on my feed every now and again ever since I joined GR. Unfortunately, the porny librarian has not yet stocked any of her titles. When I saw this title shining like a beacon over on Amazon for a measly buck, I one-clicked that sumbitch lickity split. The other morning I started reading it while waiting for my morning fix to come out of the fancy barista coffee maker when I was startled by one of the senior partners asking what was the book of the day. My reaction was exactly what you would expect it to be . . . . .



Thank Jeebus he was classy enough to leave me with my smut and a response of “nevermind.” What can I say? A girl has to mix things up every once in a while.

The story here is about Kat and Tristan, two strangers who have quite the meet cute at a porn convention. While waiting on her bestie to get the porn star of her dream’s autograph, Kat’s undies start creeping so she backs herself into a nearby table in order to take care of the problem. Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but Tristan just so happens to be seated at said table and makes his presence known . . . .



After recovering from their awkward meet/cute, Tristan and Kat run into each other a few times over the course of the day, and then Kat discovers Tristan’s alter ego – a porn star known as “Robby Lingus” . . . .



Tristan acknowledges he’s not really interested in a girlfriend and Kat acknowledges she’s uncomfortable dating a dude who bangs chicks for a living as we readers embark on a “friends to lovers” trope.

As with all porny selections, there’s a bit of reality that has to be left at the door. This go around, our leading male is a porn star by weekend/whenever he gets hired for a gig and an intern/law student by day. Now, if you’ve ever worked in a law firm you are fully aware that the background check they do on you before you are officially hired will dig up any and everything you’ve ever done in your life, up to and including that one time when you farted in a crowded elevator (totally a friend of mine – not me). So obviously your initial reaction will be . . . .



But you’ve gotta figure out how to just go with it.

Things that worked for me with Lingus was that it was humorous and that I’ve developed quite the obsession with a certain (more than likely) sociopath this summer while watching Big Brother with my family . . . .



So even though the description of Tristan didn’t match that of Cody, my perverted brain made it happen anyway. That pretty much amounted to my internal voice screaming . . . .



Which leads to the problems. These two did not get together until the EIGHTY-NINE PERCENT MARK. That’s a lotta blue balls. I’m sure some will disagree, but I do not pick up porn when I’m looking for a “good story.” That’s always a plus, but at some point I want to get the show on the road. I don’t want to spend nearly 500 pages waiting on some penetration FFS. All that makes me do is start focusing on things that shouldn’t even be a blip on my radar. Things like how many times these two “snorted” while laughing. In case you were wondering – there were NINETY-SEVEN references to snort laughing. Good thing I didn’t take a shot every time they did it . . . . .



3.5 Stars for being cute with enjoyable characters, but rounded down due to the aforementioned issues.

ORIGINAL “REVIEW:”

Why yes, I absolutely did just one-click this as soon as I saw the title . . . .

Made for Love by Alissa Nutting

4 Stars

In case you couldn’t tell from my placeholder “review” below, I reaaaallllllyyyyy wanted to read this one. Naturally that equated me being denied an advanced copy. Please note I’m not so first-world-problemy that I believe I am entitled to every freebie I request, but it does boggle my mind at times the things I am approved for and those I’m denied. I mean, I have continually crapped my drawers about Tampa so I thought I was a shoe-in for whatever Alissa Nutting’s cray-cray brain could churn out next. Alas, it was not meant to be and so for the past eight months my life has pretty much gone something like this:

♫♪♫♪ “I’ve been alone with you inside my mind . . . .” ♫♪♫♪



As I said above, I have wanted this ever since it was called “Untitled” with no synopsis or release date. Then the cover was revealed and it brought back all of my white trashiest memories of “Railroad Days” and airbrushed t-shirts . . . .


(^Classy!)

The following gif is actual footage of me once I finally received word this little beauty was on hold for me at the fancy downtown library . . . .



Imma be 100% straight up and tell you all that I stopped reading the blurb as soon as I found out Made for Love was about a woman who leaves her husband and has to move back in with her father and his new *cough* girlfriend . . . . .



Really, Nutting could have re-written an old telephone book and I still would have put myself on the wait list, but a middle-aged woman moving into a trailer park . . . . oh excuuuuuuuse me “mobile home community” full of senior citizens and their Hoveround scooters made me squee with glee. I went into this thinking it was going to be sort of a female version of a Jonathon Tropper tale – I had zero clue it was going to get all “mind meldy” or that it would contain a subplot featuring an additional character named Jasper . . . . .



Upon finishing, I was a little like . . . .



While not quite bizarre enough to be categorized as bizarro fiction, Made for Love is most definitely not like anything you’ve ever read before. I have a feeling the reviews and ratings on this one are going to be extremely polarized and there will be tons of people who just don’t get it because it’s so effing strange. As for me? I dug it and all of its crazy. Especially dear old dad . . . .

“It’s heavy as hell. The deliveryman asked me if rocks were inside. I said, ‘Nope, I ordered a new girlfriend!’ and he really cracked up. He had no idea I wasn’t joking.”



Recommended to?????? Weirdos, I guess.

“ORIGINAL REVIEW:”

I just told a friend to use this tactic to score a freebie, but here's the time when I'm willing to do anything myself for an ARC. AN.Y.THING. . . . . . .