We Are All Completely Fine by Daryl Gregory

4 Stars

 

“We’re different from other people. We only feel at home when we’re a little bit afraid.”

 

I requested We Are All Completely Fine for the simple reason that it kept popping up on my Goodreads’ feed due to other people reading it. Upon reading the synopsis explaining how the story revolves around group therapy sessions wherein the members are a “monster hunter,” a former victim of a cannibalistic family, someone who escaped a serial killer (but not before he fileted her and carved on her bones), a mass-murderer in the form of a firestarter and a dude who never takes off his sunglasses my brain was convinced it was going to be getting into something like this:



Not that there’s anything wrong with that – it’s just kind of become the horse that I want taken out of its misery already for being BEATEN. TO. DEATH. Another thing that wasn’t working for me??? That cover. You have to admit, it’s fug. And although it’s really not fair/is really shallow to judge a book by its cove . . . I totally do it all the time.

Lucky for me the bad cover was not a foreshadowing of what was to come once I got inside the book and doubly lucky for me just because a guy doesn’t ever take off his sunglasses it doesn’t automatically mean it’s because he shoots lasers out his eyeballs. What I found instead was a short, but deeply woven horror/mystery. Once again I’m probably the odd (wo)man out because I wouldn’t categorize We Are All Completely Fine as a “horror.” Horror is supposed to . . . well, HORRIFY me, and I think this book earned the moniker simply for the squick factor rather than the scare factor. At the end of the day this story is about finding out why these people were selected to become members of this particular therapy group. I mean, aside from coming to terms with the the typical stages of “forming, storming, norming, and perhaps, someday, performing” ; )

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you, NetGalley!

Elizabeth Is Missing by Emma Healey

2 Stars

 

WARNING: I’M GOING TO SPOIL SOME OF THIS ONE, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

I finished Elizabeth Is Missing all the way back in September, but never wrote a review. Those of you who know me are already aware that I’m always behind when it comes to posting reviews, but this one fell off the radar for a different reason . . . A reason I like to call the “meh factor.”


^^^^selfie of my reaction upon finishing this book^^^^

However, after having a conversation about this book earlier today I figured I might as well yak up some kind of nonsense to finally get this one off of the “read but not reviewed because I suck” list.

The synopsis is that MaudMAUDE! I LOVE MAUDE!!! (hide spoiler)], an elderly grandmother, is falling victim to dimensia and has become a bit obsessed with finding her friend Elizabeth who has gone missing. In her state of confusion, Maud also begins to remember another person who went missing in her life decades ago, her sister Sukey.

Here’s the problem . . . it’s pretty obvious from the jumpstart that Elizabeth is NOT missing – she’s either in a nursing home or dead. Wasting TONS of pages and doing the ol’ wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey back and forth through different era narration in order to cover both Elizabeth and Sukey’s disappearances doesn’t work when half the book is wasted on such an obvious “mystery.” I also figured out the deal with Sukey super-early as well (but I read a lot of mystery/thrillers so this happens on the regular for me and might not for you). The blurb promised me this book would be “darkly riveting” – but unfortunately it was not. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that this was nominated as a Best Debut on the Goodreads Choice Awards. If this is on your “to read” list (along with 500 other books, if you’re anything like me) I’d say bump it to the back of the line. 

Snow Glass Apples by Neil Gaiman

5 Stars

 

HOLY SHITBALLS!

This retelling of Snow White was perfection. No other description. Gaiman at a whole ‘nother level.

Growing up I always wondered who the f*%# would want to be this broad . . .



When they could be THIS instead . . .



I always wanted to hear the story from the Evil Queen’s perspective. You know the old saying, “there are three sides to every story – her side, her side and the truth????” I knew the Evil Queen couldn’t be completely at fault and 100% bad. I mean, doesn’t a little part of all of us want to kill Kristen Stewart Snow White????



Now that I’m a grown-up I realize there are others who believe the same *fist pound to my girl Shelby*

 

Thank you, Neil Gaiman, for giving us the true story.

EVERY DAMN STAR!

Nicholson: A Biography by Marc Eliot

3 Stars

 

I wonder what Jack’s reaction would be to me giving his biography 3 Stars . . .



Yep, that’s probably about right.

According to Goodreads 3 Stars means “I liked it” and . . . . well, I liked it – I just didn’t like it like it. Part of me wants to say that it was because this book was more of a filmography rather than a biography, but I’m pretty sure that’s not it because I wanted to read about Jack’s movie career and already knew about/could have really given two shits about hearing more regarding all the chicks he’s banged. The problem with this book (for me, at least) was that it got so mired down in the details and mechanics of what it took to make each Nicholson film that it lessened my enjoyment. Being inundated with budget overages, failed production timelines, hiring and firing of various producers, directors, actors, script writes and re-writes is not my idea of what I want to read when someone offers me a “Jack Nicholson” biography. All that Negative Nelly crap now said, Nicholson was still an interesting read.

“My work motto is ‘everything counts’ . . . My life motto is ‘more good times’.”

This book discusses EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of Jack Nicholson’s movies. From the ones waaaaaay before my time, to the one that officially put him on Hollywood’s radar as the “next Brando” . . .



to his first Oscar win (and 5th nomination) . . .



to a change in attitude and acceptance of the fact that he was getting older and not thinner, which resulted in another Oscar win . . .



to playing one horny little devil . . .



to a BIG payday. . .



to one of the best movie quotes of all times . . .



Nicholson even tells us about all the movies Jack turned down (and holy crap did he turn some good roles down). This book is a great reminder that Jack has truly “been there and done that” when it comes to cinema. His dear friend Mike Nichols probably sums it up best:

“Jack is the hippest place in the universe, coolest place in America, the Independent Republic of Jack. The hardest thing to do is wear a gift well, and Jack wears it with a killer smile and a pair of shades.”

^^^^Okay, that’s the end of the “real review” (if you can call it that) – now I’m going to bore you with my personal history with Jack Nicholson.

If you follow my reviews you’re already aware that I know a whole lot about movies (and not a whole lot about much else). This is apparently a genetic defect that I inherited from one of my first best friends . . . my Uncle Rod. Let me tell you, Rod was a movie quoting mother*&^%r. We could hold entire conversations in movie speak and one of the most quotable of all Hollywood icons was none other than Jack Nicholson.

His two faves were One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and The Shining (both of which I highly recommend watching and reading if you have not done so yet).

Rod was a drinking man and LOVED to quote Jack Torrance from The Shining. We constantly heard “ I'm the kind of man who likes to know who's buyin' their drinks” and EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US called each other “Lloyd” after the bartender. (He used that nickname so much that my other uncle his DAMN DOG Lloyd after Rod passed away.)



Back in the 80s before there were eleventy billion television stations to watch, families actually spent time together. Any time we attempted to play cards or a game we would be inundated with quotes of ”PLAY THE GAME, HARDING!!!!” until someone finally broke and got pissed off. It never stopped being funny. Rod was our resident McMurphy . . . a little crazy, but the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet.



His love for pop-culture and gift of endless movie knowledge lives on through me, and I’m happy to say my children appear to have the gene as well. Thanks to you, Lloyd, for introducing me to Jack. I’ll see you on the other side where I hope to be greeted with “Wendy, I’m home!”



ARC received from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest (and apparently super-touchy-feely) review

Anatomy of a Misfit by Andrea Portes

4 Stars

 

Who here is tired of people using Mean Girls .gifs in their book reviews?



Well, tough shit ‘cause I’m gonna use a bunch of them.

Anika Dragomir is the third most popular girl in high school. Think of her as Gretchen Wieners . . . .



True Mean Girls fans are probably screaming that Karen Smith was probably the third most popular girl in school or something of the sort. Have no fear, Anika’s best friend Shelli is the Karen Smith of this story. She’s not stupid, but she’s totally a slut . . .



Ahhhh, don’t get so worked up Shelli. You own it and are delightful.

Both Anika and Shelli fear the wrath of one Becky Vilhauer – the HBIC who will ruin their high school years with vicious rumors should they ever dare to cross her . . .



Seriously. Becky makes Regina George look sweet.

On the outside Anika’s life looks pretty great:

“On the outside I look like vanilla pudding so nobody knows that on the inside I am spider soup.”

Which really means she is your average teenaged girl. She worries about not looking right, not dressing right, not living in a nice enough house, not having a nice enough family, and really not having nice enough friends (when you spend your days in fear of someone who calls you the “immigrant” because you happen to have a Romanian father, that isn’t hard to do).

When former loser Logan McDonough moves back to town and (as far as Anika is concerned) has morphed from geek to chic, she’s torn between protecting her status and maybe taking a chance with this loner . . .



I know, right? Social suicide.

Anika also finds herself as the target of Aaron Samuels Jared Kline’s attention.

“I’m not standing in line to defile myself with him like all these other girls . . . but . . . I don’t mind looking at him. It’s kind of like seeing Jesus in a tortilla or something.”

But is Jared legit, or does he just want Anika to be another notch on his bedpost? And what’s the real story with Logan? Is he as dreamy as he seems to be, or is he hiding deeper, darker secrets???

This little book sure wasn’t what I was expecting. Actually, I wasn’t expecting anything at all. None of my Goodreads friends have read it yet, I don’t even know how it ended up on my to-read list, and I really don’t recall requesting it from the library. But one day I booted up the old Kindle and there it was. I’m so glad I gave it a shot. Obviously I’m kind of a Mean Girls’ superfan, so I would have been perfectly content with a fun bit of fluff. And I wasn’t disappointed with Anika – her voice was brilliant, she was hilarious and she cracked up up. I had no idea this book would get deep and touch on actual issues, though.

“You get one chance. You get to do this thing one time and you don’t even know when it goes from swirling forward and around and around in circles to just a plain cold stop and nothing more. This moment here. This is all you get. Before you are part of the sky.”

What a surprise . . . and it was written so well. Highly recommended to all young adults – be they a Regina George or a Mathlete or a Janis Ian. Can we get some love for all the Janis Ian’s?



Girls like you kick ass . . .



Amiright?

Forget Love by Babsy Tom

1 Star

 

WARNING – THERE BE SPOILAGE AHEAD


Yep, it’s another 1 Star review. Before I even begin – let’s get some things clear:

1. I review for me - for fun (but I've been lucky enough to make some great online buddies on Goodreads).

2. I don’t get paid to review (other than with free books) and don’t consider it in any way, shape or form to be my job – it’s simply a hobby.

3. I don’t have an agenda nor do I request books that I think I won’t like in order to flame them. I’m never “angry” when I write a review, but I am honest and willing to admit I don’t like everything I read.

4. I don’t have aspirations of being a writer – hence the .gif-laced reviews.

Now that all of that is cleared up, hopefully this review won’t be trolled.

Like I said above, although it seems at times that I request/accept every ARC presented to me, I do actually try to show some restraint and only look for books that I think I will enjoy. Forget Love was one of those books.

The synopsis is a familiar one . . . Penny wakes up in the hospital suffering from amnesia. While there she is tended to by both her ex-husband (Tom) and her boss (George). Not only is Penny faced with the problem of trying to get her memory back, but she’s also faced with the dilemma of figuring out which one of these fellas she loves.

I seriously thought I would dig this book. I figured it would go one of two ways. Either a sappy little love story like this . . .



or a funny little love story like this . . . .



I think the intentions of Forget Love was to be a mix of both, but sadly it fell short of the goal. There seemed to be a lack of focus which resulted in several problems, the first being there were too many ongoing storylines. Not only does Penny have the problem of amnesia, but more kinks are thrown into the works with the subplots of an unexpected pregnancy and a meddling mother-in-law. In addition, there were too many unnecessary characters for such a short novel. Excess friends/co-workers could have been eliminated in order to flesh out just a few. There were also some important questions that never got answered. Why were Penny’s friends so focused on Tom remaining the “ex”??? Penny discovers she was apparently a selfish asshole before her accident (although, again it’s not really elaborated on – you’re just supposed to take Tom at his word), but I kept waiting for some kind of confrontation with some of the jerky pals she had chosen to surround herself with. And speaking of jerks, if George the boss was truly the creeper he ends up being, I’m fairly certain everyone would have been well aware of that fact and, amnesia or not, they would have told Penny not to touch him with a 10-foot pole.

All in all Forget Love ended up being a big mess for me . . . but maybe that won’t be the case for all of you. The release date is today (12/02/14) and the Kindle price point is decent at $4.99 on Amazon (or $0.00 for Kindle Unlimited subscribers).

ARC received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!

Rosie Dunne by Cecilia Ahern

2.5 Stars

 

Once again it appears I’m the solo gal who didn’t absolutely fall in love with this book. Shaddup and let me ‘splain myself.

But first, let’s cover the synopsis for those who aren’t familiar with the story (which could easily be the case since this book has been published under THREE different titles).





So, Alex and Rosie have been besties since Kindergarten. They’ve managed to remain friends despite of the best efforts of Ms. Big Nose Smelly Breath Casey to keep them apart in elementary school, through the trials and tribulations of puberty, and even when Alex moved across the pond to America. They’ve stuck together and always told the other everything . . .



I mean EVERYTHING . . .



Even through that little mishap, Alex and Rosie managed to remain friends. They’ve supported each other through marriages as well as divorces and always ignored that niggling little voice telling them they should maybe be more than just best buddies. But how long can you ignore a voice that is sooooo persistent?

SOME SPOILAGE AND RANTING ENSUES – CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. HOWEVER, BEING AS THIS IS STANDARD ROM-COM FARE, THE ENDING SHOULDN’T REALLY THROW ANY OF YOU FOR A LOOP

The answer to the question right above my spoiler tag? Apparently you can ignore that little voice inside your head until you are F-ING FIFTY!!!! 50! That’s redonkulous and the main problem with this book. A story which should have been wrapped up at a respectable 300 pages just kept going and going and going all the way to nearly 450. Rather than having Rosie and Alex experience one bad marriage/failed relationship/whathaveyou each, Cecilia Ahern had them experience multiple failures and waste more than half their lives wondering “what could have been” . . . and it was super annoying to me so it gets only half the stars.

Now, let me just say if I were to judge the movie (based on the trailer alone, as I haven’t seen it yet), this would get 4 Stars minimum. From the looks of things TONS of pages were left on the cutting room floor WHERE THEY BELONG. I mean seriously, everyone is familiar with the story:

1. Boy meets girl;
2. Boy and girl become friends;
3. Boy and girl realize they could “ruin the friendship” if they take it to the next level;
4. Boy and girl date/marry other people;
5. Boy and girl’s marriages/relationships fail; and
6. Boy and girl finally realize they were meant to be together and live happily ever after.



I live for that shit when it comes to my movies of choice . . . but good grief, it ain’t Moby Dick. There’s no reason for it to drag on (andonandonandon). I loved Alex and Rosie. They were great characters that seemed like real people and were adorable and funny and everything that I want in a RomCom. They just didn’t know what to STFU and get down to the hibbidy dibbidy and therein was the problem.



I have a feeling this is one of the rare occasions when I will enjoy the movie more than the book. And hey, even if it sucks, it still has Finnick Sam Claflin . . .

Yep, me. Welcome to Cougar Town, Sam : )