Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

2 Stars

Actual footage of my reaction when I realized I was once again going to be a naysayer on yet another Taylor Jenkins Reid megahit . . . . .



I should have known better than to tempt fate after my miserable failure with Evelyn Hugo, but it was all over the Instagram and I am an easy mark.

I’ll be more than willing to take some of the blame for my experience here and say that from the cover/description I had definite opinions about what I was hoping the story would be like. Mainly in the form of . . . . .



And a playlist such as this on a loop in my brain . . . .


(#nailed it on that second one – thanks Brain!)

So what was the problem?????? I was expecting - at minimum . . . . .



Truth be told I wanted sex and drugs and all sorts of bad decisions. What I got instead?????



How was no one else not completely bored with this? What a snoozefest! I was sure the high ratings were going to end up being just a Bookstagram thing because most of those young’uns are young enough that they might not realize this story/the delivery really wasn’t a fresh idea and was 100% done before . . . .



But most of my fellow oldsters over here loved it too. I’ll just go suck some turtles, I guess.

All that smacktalking aside, there is one thing about Daisy Jones that is deserving of all the Starzzzzzzz and that is the audio. Making it to the end of this selection may have ended up being one of the greatest struggles of my life (first worlder here), but the full cast audio was amazing. Too bad I hated the story they were reading to me : (

Seriously, though, who my age didn’t have a crush on . . . . .



And while I never got the appeal of Benjamin Bratt from a looks standpoint, after hearing him talk to me for infinity (because this thing never effing ended), I have this to say to him . . . . .



Somehow after double fails, In Another Life is still calling my name. If that one ends up as a wrongread like these other two have, someone take me out of my misery if I ever mention reading another book by this author.

The River by Peter Heller

2 Stars

To say I was not the correct audience for this book is a serious understatement. Don’t even call me a wrongreader either because the blurb is the one that made me think it was going to go all . . . .



With a story about a dude who maybe killed his wife on the river and the two young fellas who happen to stumble upon him both with and without his better half accounted for that also included a side dish of . . . . .



To amp up the adrenaline.

What I didn’t expect was for nothing – and I mean NOTHING AT ALL – to happen for the first 25% of the thing aside from descriptions of flora and fauna, both surrounding the lakes/rivers where the story is currently taking place or about the ranch and maple tree farm (okay not really a farm, but only serious tree tappers are boiling freaking syrup all night) where the two main characters grew up. Oh, the berry picking and fishing and the list of what they had packed and how to pack it in a canoe and how to sit in a canoe and the name of the type of paddling they are doing in the canoe and also the name of the person who designed the paddles for their canoe and on and on and on . . . .



If you read and enjoyed Bearskin or think . . . . .



Is a great movie, this might be another winner for you.

The Reckless Oath We Made by Bryn Greenwood

4.5 Stars

Waaaaaaaaay back in 2016 I scored a NetGalley ARC of a little book by an unknown author. (Basically, the mere mention of the word “meth” gets me all grabby hands.) To say All the Ugly and Wonderful Things blew my socks off is probably the understatement of the decade. I barfed my feelings out all over the intertubes about the sleeper that would become one of my favorite stories of all time. In turn, I was handsomely rewarded by the author when a copy of my shitty little gif-fest of a review was forwarded to her . . . .



Due to our proximity, Greenwood even (unknowingly) persuaded me to do something I never do – leave my house – for this to occur . . . .



I was lucky enough to be present for her book launch while my family shoveled as many tacos in their faces as they could within an hour courtesy of . . . .



I officially became a superfan and stalker (luckily of the slothlike, social media looking only variety rather than the Annie Wilkes sort). Last November I was asked if I would like an ARC of Greenwood’s upcoming release to which I responded . . . .



And immediately went and downloaded a copy of Last Will to tide me over (and to kind of make sure Greenwood wasn’t a one hit wonder). I didn’t bother reading the blurb for The Reckless Oath We Made until my copy arrived. When I saw “Zee may not be a princess, but Gentry is an actual knight, complete with sword, armor, and a code of honor” I was like . . . . .



Oh lort, so scurrrrrrrrrrred. Plus this had like A LOT of pages so if I hated it, I would really be suffering through. I put it on the backburner for a week or so and got myself mentally prepared to be a turtle sucking wrongreader. When I finally did open the book on a quiet Saturday morning, I saw the following note from the author . . . . .

“I ask readers to suspect their judgment, hold their breath, and trust me to get them safely to the other side.”

So I did. What did I find on that other side? Well, to begin with, our fair damsel is a bit . . . . .



But with a lil’ extra summin summin right up Kelly and Mitchell’s alley . . . . .



And while Gentry was a “knight,” he certainly wasn’t what most of my fellow smutseekers would picture such as . . . .



Or . . . .



But instead a more realistic flyover country version . . . . .



Who most certainly spoke in Middle English, but did so . . . .



I know you’re not supposed to put quotes in a review of an ARC, so just keep this on the downlow, ‘kay?

“Weren we elsewhere, somewhere safe, I would grind thee as a millstone grindeth grain to flour, but not here.”

Oh my.

You don’t get anything else. I’m simply going to reiterate Greenwood’s words. Hold on tight and rest assured she will get you to the other side. If you are the judgey, offended by everything, looks for something to piss you of type sort – realize her books probably aren’t for you. The rest of you, enjoy.

ARC provided by G.P. Putnam’s Sons in exchange for an honest review.

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie

3.5 Stars

Actual footage of my face when anyone at the office tries to recommend a book to me . . . .



In case you aren’t familiar, my mood tends to fluctuate between . . . . .



And . . . . .



When (literally) the nicest person I’ve ever worked with in all 417 of my years here on Earth told me I should read Bet Me I just knew I was going to break her perky little heart. Imagine my surprise when I actually liked this dang thing! So obviously this is not a selection that is Pulitzer worthy, but when you need a break from the smarty or heavy or stabby selections of books, it’s quite a fun little palate cleanser.

The premise here is of the “I bet you can’t bag that broad” variety. The difference with this selection? The potential baggy just so happens to overhear said wager so the ol’ trope is immediately turned on its ear. Another difference? While the leading male is very much stereotypical rom com dreamboy material . . . . .



The leading lady is of the real plus-sized variety (not just the “ooooh my tummy pooch is sooooooo frustrating and I wish my thigh gap were bigger”) which had me like . . . . .



I will say I absolutely did not enjoy the added storyline of the two exes and thought that just created tons of additional unnecessary pages about people I did not like. Other than that, though, this was quite fun.

The Girl In Red by Christina Henry

4 Stars

A review via giffery presented by Mitchell:



If you are anything like me, Christina Henry completely blew your mind when she proved in her darkly updated version of Alice In Wonderland that . . . . .



When she revamped Peter Pan . . . .



Mind = blown.

I was pretty much crapping my drawers to see what she would come up with next. And when I heard it was a new spin on P.T. Barnum’s famous Fiji mermaid, I was 100% ready for . . . . .



But then . . . . .



A kissing book? Helllllllllll nah! Get to the stabbing.

Despite that one missing the mark for me, I remained a loyal stalker fan and couldn’t wait to see what Henry’s warped little mind could conjure up next. To say The Girl In Red didn’t disappoint is a true understatement. Not since . . . . .



Have I enjoyed a Red Riding Hood retelling so much.

Immune to a plague that has decimated the population, Red knows her only hope is to make to Granny’s cabin – a place she is certain she and her brother can survive this end of days. But the getting there is the hard part. The road less traveled is a must as they trek across country, and the dangers waiting in the woods are plentiful.

When it comes to Christina Henry, there’s only one thing to say . . . .



Many thanks to the publisher for providing an ARC of this title in exchange for an honest review.

A Friend Is A Gift You Give Yourself by William Boyle

4.5 Stars

This book is a prime example of the importance of Goodreads’ friends whose ratings you can trust. There is ZERO chance I would have ever checked out A Friend Is A Gift You Give Yourself simply due to the fact that the title sounds like potentially the worst self-help book ever written and, despite the fact I’m well aware I could use some therapy, I ain’t the type who is going to get it via a book . . . . or a therapist. I’m more of the embrace the crazy variety.

But I digress. Thanks to SUSAN’s brief but persuasive wrap-up, combined with her 5 Star rating, I immediately asked the library to purchase a copy – and thankfully they did. This is one time where the blurb is spot on. This was absolutely . . . . .



Meets . . . . .



And it was so much fun.

The story begins with Rena, the widowed wife of a mafia kingpin having to engage in a little ashtray to the head moment when her neighbor’s invite to come over for coffee turns into a porno watching, Viagra swallowing, rapey boner of a time, forcing Rena to make sure he is well aware that . . . . .



The certain death of said geezer also causes her to panic and head to her estranged daughter’s house for protection. Unfortunately, the timing there isn’t great either which results in a game of cat and mouse with Rena, her granddaughter Lucia and the former skin-flick star/neighbor Wolfie on the run in a stolen car with a trunk full of dirty money and multiple mobsters in pursuit trying to kill catch them.

What a rip-roaring good time. This thing was an action-packed, fast paced and sometimes hilarious ride. Despite the fact that it came to my attention my brain had cast people well over the age they probably truly were supposed to be, I couldn’t help but imagine Rena as . . . . .



And Wolfie as . . . . .



Half star deduction because I don’t like obnoxious, know-it-all teenagers (I already live with a couple of them so I don’t need any included in my fiction), and this one was no exception. Rounded up because Mo will definitely go down in the history books as one of my favorite characters of the year and I would 100% read more of her story.

The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker

5 Stars

I’m pretty sure the last time someone was as shocked as I am about a newfound love for Alaska was when Pharrell met Maggie Rogers . . . .



(Is that reference too obscure? Probably. Here’s a little Boob Tube Clickity Click so you can see what I’m talking ‘bout (it’s real long so skip the first couple minutes).)

2019 is the year Kelly has the Pharrell face because this is the THIRD book I’ve read based in Alaska. If you’re keeping tabs, they have all been winners and all from different genres. I highly recommend The Great Alone if you’re looking for a deeper storyline or The Smell of Other People’s Houses if you’re a fan of great YA. The Simple Wild is getting all the starzzzzzzzz because I wanted a romance (but not necessarily something porny), I wanted it to be different than others in its genre and I wanted it to completely suck me in and help me pass the time while doing housework and laundry *barf*

The story here is about Calla who has returned to Alaska after 24 years upon hearing her father is battling cancer. Calla’s life has always been in Toronto so she’s not so keen on spending more than a week or so with dear ol’ dad . . . . .



Her beliefs are solidified upon meeting her dad’s douchey right-hand-man Jonah . . . .



Who is the epitome of everything her momma ever told her about Alaskan “sky cowboys” . . . . .



Of course they fall in love, right? Right. But they do it in such a great hate to love trope that I couldn’t stop smiling . . . .

“So, if you’re charming, what would Bobbie consider an asshole?”

“There’s one right now.” I follow his nod and find a reflection of myself in the mirror.

Why don’t I read more K.A. Tucker? I think this is the third book of hers I’ve picked up and I liked them all. Why does Atria continually torture me and deny me their ARCs knowing I have a failing brain and won’t remember to request them from the library on their release date? Inquiring minds want to know.