Saga Volume One by Brian K. Vaughan - Artwork by Fiona Staples

5 Stars

 

After months of temper tantrum throwing at the local bibliothek about them not having any copies of Saga in circulation, I finally managed to score Volume 1 at the local Half Price Book store (and because of a coupon I got it for the bargain basement price of $3.20 – HOLLA!). Then Goodreads’ resident Queen of all Things . . . oh wait, that’s Oprah . . . Queen of Comics, Anne, said she was up for a buddy read. Being that EVERYONE loved this and I tend to hate everything that anyone else enjoys, coupled with the fact that I’m pretty much a graphic novel virgin I was all . . .



but Anne was all . . .



So I put on my big girl underdrawers and prepared myself for whatever outcome was to be - ANDOHMYGODTHISMIGHTBETHEBESTTHINGI’VEEVERREAD!!!!! Whew! Now that that is out of my system, here’s my “review.”

“It was a time of war. Isn’t it always?”

Saga takes us to the future where the current war is between the “horns” and the “wings.” The story starts with a bang straight from the jump where we find our leading lady Alana experiencing the . . . uhhhhhh “miracle of life” . . .



It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the parents are of the star-crossed lover variety since she’s sporting some wings and he’s rocking horns. New daddy Marko barely has time to gnaw through the umbilical cord before Coalition Forces are banging down the door demanding the duo either surrender or die. Lucky for them, one of Shelby’s buddies comes along to save the day . . .



and offers them a map to the “Rocketship Forest” . . .


(Alright, alright, so it’s not a map that looks like three turds, but when am I ever gonna get a chance to use that image again? Amiright or amiright?)

Alana and Marko better hurry, though, ‘cause there are some serious bad mamma jammas on their tail. During the trek to the hopefully-not-completely-made-up Rocketship Forest, we discover that Alana is totally kickass and Marko is a bit pathetic – much like one of my other favorite couples . . .



and that they eventually might come across something called the “HORRORS” . . .



Terrifying right?

Lana learns a bit more about Marko’s past and they finally decide on the baby’s name . . .


(Ha! Just kidding)

We also get to experience a lil sumthin sumthin on the planet Sextillion . . .



And just when Alana and Marko think they might be in the clear, the most terrifying foe a young couple ever has to battle arrives making for the BEST. ENDING. EVER. which makes reading of Volume 2 100% necessary and I prepare myself to stomp my feet once again until I get a copy.

If you haven’t read this WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!?! Don’t like graphic novels? Doesn’t matter. Don’t like alien stories? Doesn’t matter. Don’t like babies? Yeah, me either but this one is super cute. Saga is the only thing I’ve ever read since joining Goodreads that lived up to all the hype. It was perfection.

Oh, I almost forgot the part where I’m supposed to pretend I know anything about artwork. Okay . . . ummmmmmm, I liked it. Especially stuff like this . . .



BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Also? I would like a Lying Cat for my birthday . . .



Thanks in advance.

You still here? GOOOOOO! Straight to the library or comic book store or wherever and get your copy. Just don’t let your kid read it. There’s much alien sexytimes and, well . . .

Material Girls by Elaine Dimopoulos

1 Star

 

Did you know .gifs annoy certain people on Goodreads? Yeah, you probably didn’t. It’s not like they complain ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME ABOUT IT or anything.



Sorry to the aforementioned folks, but when the tag line for a book is “Are you in or are you out?” it’s pretty much just begging to have the poop giffed out of it with Project Runway quotes.

My initial reaction to Material Girls . . .



The blurb said this story was going to be Project Runway meets Divergent . . .



Although my love for the Divergent franchise turned south come book three, I really liked the first one and therefore was all over this ARC.

At minimum, it was guaranteed to feature some crazy ass clothing trend descriptions, right?



And what could possibly have more potential to be absolutely cutthroat and drama filled than a world filled with designers trying to stay ahead of the competition?



Wellllll, turns out the trendy clothing and new and improved lingo all the youngsters used was about the only thing I found entertaining. This was a book I thought I would really enjoy, but it ended up just kind of floundering around. The idea was there, that people need to stop worrying about material things and the latest trends and whatnot and instead focus on important issues like the environment and making a change in the world and the MC had a bit of a Norma Rae/William Wallace taking a stand kind of moment and I held out hope that my frown would eventually get turned upside down. However, it took what seemed like an eternity to finally get to that point and at the end of the book nothing really was changed and the lesson learned was that maybe change will happen but it takes time so you’re not gonna be privy to seeing any of it in within the pages you just spent all day reading (which leaves me horrified that there will be a #2 to this shallow bit of nothing).



Now I realize that (on paper) I wouldn’t be considered the target demographic for Material Girls and I was going to give it 2 Stars because of that fact. But really 2 Stars means “it was okay” and 1 Star means “I didn’t like it.” I didn’t like it and if someone told me their young human was interested in reading this book I would probably react like . . .



If your kid is interested in reading about living in a world where everyone does what they are told and never divvies from the expected, have them read The Giver instead of this.

Oh, and if we do end up living in a world where people are “tapped” into choosing what I have to wear, can I please put in a request?



(Without the constant rain shower falling on my head, if possible – or at least provide me with a coordinating umbrella.)

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!

Will You Still Love Me If I Wet the Bed? by Liz Prince

3 Stars

 

Liz Prince really hit it out of the park for me earlier this year when I read her memoir Tomboy. Unfortunately, instead of another home run Will You Still Love Me If I Wet the Bed? was only like a double. Most of this little book is for those of you who are still in the “Schmoopie” phase. Are any of you even old enough to get that reference????



I’ve never been much of a “Schmoopie” type of gal. It makes me want to . . .



Yeah.

Add in the fact that I’ve been married for 38 dog years and I really couldn’t relate to some of the over-the-top adorableness contained inside this teensie little tribute. That being said, there were some panels that I loved.

Like being married to someone who knows how to conveniently use women’s lib against you . . .



or sharing your bed with a terrifying sleeptalker . . .



who is honest to a fault . . .



and thinks B.J. jokes never get old . . .



Someone with a real butthole of a kitten that he loves, but that HATES you . . .


(yeah, Django, I’m talking about you, you little a$$hole)

and still attempts to argue about who has the more disgusting feet . . .



Let the record show that having opposable toes is a BONUS and something everyone else in the world should be jealous of. Having weird frinkly half pinky toes is an abomination and if you were a wild animal your mother might have killed you at birth.

I’m definitely not be the lovey dovey type so I would never think of penning something like this. Buuuuuuut in my defense I do my best to express my feelings the way I know how : )

After Last Call by Derrolyn Anderson

4 Stars

 

When I heard there was a book that focused on the magic and majesty which was the 1980s – well, I was so happy I could’ve gyrated all over the top of a sportscar . . .



In what may have been a Goodreads first, I even spammed the author asking for the release date in order to obtain a copy ASAP.

After Last Call focuses on a 20-something named Lola. Spoiler alert: She’s not a showgirl nor does whatever Lola wants automatically become something that Lola gets. In fact, after moving all the way from Miami to California with her boyfriend, she can’t even manage to get him to keep it in his pants . . .



That’s what I said!

Anyway, after finding out her skeevy cokehead beau likes to take a tumble in their bed with the local valley girls Lola packs up, moves out, and moves in with a co-worker who does what any good girlfriend does when their bestie has a break up – she takes her out to get loaded and laid . . . .



It works and Lola has herself a one-nighter with a super stud from the Northeast . . .



(Okay, the dude she bangs is from Boston, but COME ON you gotta let me use a Springsteen butt gif when I have the opportunity!)

The story progresses and Lola gets herself a promotion from cocktail waitress to bartender . . .



And discovers that a new co-worker’s reckless lifestyle choices may have led to her untimely demise.

After Last Call was so different from most books I read. Although there was a bit of a mystery, it was A-okay to know the whodunit part and, if you’re a heartless b*&^h like me, you didn’t even feel particularly sorry for the victim. This was also a romance, but not a pukey non-stop bang session, more of a slow buildup with the “fade to black” kind of lovemaking that is rarely used, but that I sometimes prefer. At the end of it all, it was simply a fun read . . .



DISCLOSURE: As I stated above, I approached Derrolyn Anderson in order to purchase a copy of this book for review. In the land of Goodreads most users have experienced everything from the minimum of watching sockpuppets bump ratings for authors to being trolled by authors (and/or their family members) to the extremes like having nutters show up on doorsteps or pen actual STORIES about the “reviewer who dared do them wrong.” I had followed Derrolyn (but she had not followed me) for quite a long time due to her hilarious status updates. She is an author who does not review and does not spam others with read/review requests (but somehow has managed to get herself labeled a “bully” anyway – welcome to the club, Derrolyn, we have alcohol here). In light of the most recent BBA, I decided I wanted to do something to counteract all the awful . . .



Okay, that’s a little extreme. Instead I decided to read more stuff by indie authors who are simply awesome members and Derrolyn’s new book instantly came to mind. Bonus that it worked out for me and I liked it, ‘cause y’all know I’m honest. Additional bonus is that I asked where to buy a copy and Derrolyn sent me one for free. Because she’s amazing.

Derrolyn, here’s your badge. You earned it!



And even John Bender has to raise his fist in tribute to your ability to write a story set in the 1980s that managed to be entertaining and have a plot rather than just barfing the 1980s all over the place . . .



Oh, one more thing. After Last Call may be a standalone novel, but I think there is plenty of opportunity to continue this as a series and follow more of Lola’s life. Maybe in the next installment she can get a pet ; )

Pines by Blake Crouch

5 Stars

 

“Something isn’t right,” she said.

“No shit,” he said.



WEEEEEEEEEE! WEEE WEEE WEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WARNING: IF YOU ARE A GIF HATER, RUN LIKE HELL AWAY FROM THIS REVIEW

Welcome to Wayward Pines, an idyllic town in Idaho filled with neighbors who welcome newcomers with open arms . . .



and where there are plenty of adorable children ready to make new friends . . .



The only catch? Once you get here you can never leave . . .



Even your best Tom Cruise run won’t get you out of this place . . .



And if the townsfolk get wind you trying to move away??? Don’t even bother putting your clothes on. Just get to getting . . .



This is one of those books that you should know almost nothing about going in. If this is on your TBR and you notice a spoilery friend reading it, you should kill unfriend that person IMMEDIATELY. On the flip side, if you have a non-spoilery friend who claims they “knew what was coming the whole time,” you should kill unfriend them as well because they are full of crap. I’m telling you, at the 25% mark, 50% mark and 75% mark I was absolutely blown away by the unexpected. And the ending?!?!?!?!?



Pines was part . . .



part . . .



and part . . .



I had Pines on my TBR for quite some time now, but the library didn’t have a copy and the price point for Kindle was a little steep for my cheap ass when it came to an author I had never read before. I should have forked over the $$$$ (and will be doing so for the rest of the series). This was a non-stop thrill ride from the first page all the way to the last. Hands down the best suspense I’ve read this year and it gets ALL the stars.

Copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 

Thank you, NetGalley!