Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir by Graham Roumieu

4 Stars

 

It obviously not take me whole week to read Me Write Book. I mean, me not stupid. Me read wicked fast. It like super power. Much thanks to friend Melki for making me know about this book. Me read with husband at bedtime and we laugh and laugh and then he too tired for sexytimes. Everybody win!!!! Me don’t know why I so obsessed with Bigfoot. Husband say it kind of creepy. I tell him have no worry – me still love him mostest. Here is photo of husband . . .



So cute, right? Back off ladies – he taken!

Anyway, read this book. It make you laugh so hard maybe some pee come out . . . .

Somebody I Used To Know by David Bell

2.5 Stars

 

You know how sometimes when you have cramps and then the remote falls behind the bed and you’re feeling all blah so you say “F*&^ IT!” and keep it on the Lifetime Movie Network all day instead of doing something productive? That’s kind of what I felt like I was doing while reading this book.

The basic premise behind Somebody I Used To Know is that Nick sees a young woman in a grocery store who just so happens to resemble his old college girlfriend – who died 20 years ago. Before getting a chance to figure out if there is any connection between the two women, the stranger runs off – and is found murdered that night with Nick’s name and address on a slip of paper in her pocket. While attempting to clear himself of the crime, Nick is drawn back into the past trying to discover the connection between the two dead women . . .



The main problem I had with this book wasn’t the fact that it could have easily been a “movie of the week” – it was that it was soooooo drug out and just waaaaay too complicated. I mean, I figured out the basic “whodunit” before the halfway point (don’t believe me? here you go: (view spoiler)[(hide spoiler)]), but then more plot twists and side stories kept getting added in and it just went on forever. It also didn’t help that Nick was giving me just a wee bit too much of a creeper vibe to really get on board with him ever interacting with any woman . . .



and really just kind of needed to . . .



However, I seem to be the lone wolf when it comes to the low rating, so if Somebody I Used To Know is on your TBR, it should most definitely remain there. I will warn you, though, that the song will NEVER stop playing in your head while you’re reading this. EVER. It won’t stop after you’re finished either.

 

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you, NetGalley!

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

That awkward moment when you just give in and download the damn book you keep seeing on NetGalley in the hope that maybe the song will FINALLY get unstuck from your brain . . .

Her by Harriet Lane

2 Stars

 

^^^That's me . . . well, you know, only less deliciously humpable.

What can I even say about Her? Maybe I should just let one of the MCs speak for me . . .

"I don't think I like these characters."

The problem is I didn't actively dislike them either. They were so "meh" I couldn't muster up much feeling for them at all. (If you actively follow my reviews, you'll know this is the second time in like two weeks this has happened to me and at this point Mitchell's getting angry!)

Alright, so the premise of the story is that Nina remembers Emma from waywayback. A chance encounter brings the two back together again and they develop a friendship. Or do they?!?!?!? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

Yeah, this didn't work for me. I'm all for the slow roller, but seriously the entire reason this bitch Nina wants to friend poor unsuspecting Emma is to seek revenge because Nina's father might have looked at Emma as a hot piece of tail back when they were teenagers and because of Nina's big mouth and insinuations to her mother about all of the stuff that really wasn't going on, her parents split up. Now eleventy years later, Nina has her sights set on revenge . . . but nothing really happens until like the very last page and then it's open ended and I was all . . . .



I hate feeling like I've been jipped when I'm finished reading. I don't mind open endings, I don't mind despicable characters or unreliable narrators. What I do mind is reading a chapter from one mealy-mouthed character's perspective and then reading the EXACT SAME SCENE from the other mealy-mouthed character's perspective only for nothing to ever happen (except me feeling like I wasted my entire evening) . . . .



If you really loved The Girl on the Train, then Her might work for you as well. On the other hand, if you're looking for an actual dark story that culminates over a vacation and is filled with truly horrifying characters, I recommend Summer House with Swimming Pool.

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

5 Stars

 

"It's okay how some stories leave off without an ending. Life doesn't always deliver the one you would expect."
Holy book slump, Batman! I was on a tear through 2 and 3 Star books when More Happy Than Not finally queued up at the library. Then Larry told me I had to love it or we could no longer be friends, but I had to go watch my kids lose 427 baseball games first so I left the book on the table . . .



When I finally returned (my albino skin red as a beet from all of the outdoorsiness), I threw some meat products on the table for my family's dinner and informed them they were to leave me be. And I devoured this book. What is the limit of how much I loved this story????



That's right, Blowhan. The limit does not exist.

I'm not going to tell you a whole lot about More Happy Than Not. Basically, this is the story of 16-year old Aaron - a boy whose father committed suicide a few months ago and now lives in the projects with his family. It's about choosing a different path for himself . . .

"I can't believe I was once that guy who carved a smile into his wrist because he couldn't find happiness, that guy who thought he would find it in death."

It's about Aaron's day-to-day life hanging with his friends and girlfriend, and about the new kid, Thomas, who quickly becomes his best friend and who makes everything about Aaron's world kind of go topsy-turvy . . . .

"From the shapes cast by the green paper lantern, you would never know that there were two boys sitting closely to one another trying to find themselves. You would only see shadows hugging indiscriminate."

It's about memories . . .

"Some can be sucker punching, others carry you forward, some stay with you forever, others you forget on your own."

And about dealing with pain . . .

"Sometimes pain is so unmanageable that the idea of spending another day with it seems impossible. Other times pain acts as a compass to help you get through the messier tunnels of growing up. But the pain can only help you find happiness if you can remember it."

Most of all, it's a completely unique take on coming of age that almost made me have some feelings . . .



But I'm not a baby so I kept my s&^t together.

This ain't your typical Young Adult selection, friends. Adam Silvera's approach is 100% original and it totally blew me away. It gets every star and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

2 Stars

 

“They will dissect this last evening for years to come. What had they missed that they should have seen? What small gesture, forgotten, might have changed everything? They will pick it down to the bones, wondering how this had all gone so wrong, and they will never be sure.”

Hrrrrrrrrm. Good news is, I don’t think it’s necessarily only me this time.

The problem for me with Everything I Never Told You was with the characters. I don’t mind unsympathetic characters and I most certainly don’t mind dark subject matter (you could say it’s kind of my forté). What I do mind is feeling nothing – nada – ZILCH for the people I’m reading about.

The book begins with a dead teenager. While the family is unaware of said death, it doesn’t take them long to get filled in. Now, if you’re thinking this is going to be some kind of awesome mystery/thriller – you’ve got the wrong book. Basically this is a family study of the history of Marilyn and James Lee, their marriage, and their children. Bonus for me – my senile brain actually remembered that plot point even though I was on hold for my library copy for umpteen weeks. Unfortunately as I stated above, I still couldn’t get on board with the story . . . .



While the majority of the book simply didn’t work for me, I did enjoy the subtle pop culture references that served as a reminder that the book was set in the 1970s and the fact that it was the white member of the bi-racial family rather than the Asian who was dead set on overachievement. Seriously – that racial stereotype has been done to death and needs to just burn in a fiery pit in hell.

I understand many loved this book, so definitely don’t remove it from your TBR based on my review. The good news is, even if you end up finding it “meh” like I did it’s short and reads extremely fast. As for anyone who is even thinking about asking me how I couldn’t loooooove this one or who might be drafting a comment that informs me I read this wrong? Don’t . . . .

Jaws by Peter Benchley

2.5 Stars

 

“That fish is a beauty. It’s the kind of thing that makes you believe in a god. It shows you what nature can do when she sets her mind to it.”

I’m getting ready to post a sharky review . . . .



Alright. Now that THAT is done, let’s get to the sad state of affairs which is my reaction to the novel Jaws. I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this review – mainly because I’m bummed out. I was sure I would love this book and held out until the most magical of all weeks in order to read it and give it the praise I’m sure it would deserve. Ummmm, yeah. Well, that didn’t work out, but after finding some inspiration from my buddies Hooper and Quint . . . .



I did manage to finish this one and only cried for a little while.

At the end of the day Jaws is a fish story. Plain and simple. That’s all anyone really cares about and, really, that’s all it should have been about. Things started off with a real bang with descriptions of the shark itself and its thought process while perusing the ocean for a late-night snack. It was delicious. Sadly, the magic didn’t last long and the waters were almost instantaneously muddied (*hyuck hyuck*). Affairs, mafia side-plots, yada yada yada. We care about the shark eating people, plain and simple. No one gives a shit about horrible Ellen Brody!

But now that I’ve brought up that bitch character, let me elaborate. I didn’t like movie version Ellen Brody, but I absolutely DESPISED book version. I didn’t want to hear about how much she hated the life she chose for herself by “settling” with Brody and I REALLY didn’t enjoy hearing about her rape fantasies while she was attempting (horribly, I might add) to seduce Hooper. And Hooper! WTF HOOPER? You made Mitchell want to get stabby stabby, and y’all know we can’t risk another investigation involving Mitchell shenanigans . . .



Jaws was a 2 Star read, but is getting a ½ Star bump for ending (which is probably the one thing most other people didn’t like).

At the end of the day I have nothing left to say except for thank you. Thank you, Steven Spielberg for really taking the ol’ shoe shine kit to this turd of a book and creating something magical. Thank you for giving us one of the most quotable quotes of all time . . .



Thank you for giving Quint’s story even more depth (view spoiler)[with the U.S.S. Indianapolis tie-in rather than just his own personal charter being victim of an attack (hide spoiler)]. Thank you for giving us a classic that scared the crap out of me as a child and that I finally got to scare the crap out of my own children with this past year. You, sir, are a god amongst men . . .



My friend ☣Lynn☣ says White Shark is what Jaws could have been, so this won’t be the last Benchley novel for me. Until the time when I get around to reading that one, though, I’ll simply say . . .

The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly by Stephanie Oakes

4 Stars

 

“Everyone always assumes it’s with hands that people disobey. The Prophet thought so, too. If only he know, if only everyone knew, my hands were never the source of my disobedience.”
This book proves once again that . . . .



Many thanks to Paige for the recommendation. To be completely honest, I had written this one off as a “no thank you” due to the blurb. Even though it was recommended for fans of Speak, the name Ellen Hopkins was also thrown into the mix. Ugh. Good thing I trust my Goodreads friends more than the publicists, because this one was pretty dang good . . . .



The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly is the story of – you guessed it, Minnow Bly. Minnow’s family became part of the Kevinian cult when she was 5 years old. It was there she learned to follow the teachings of a super creepy prophet . . .



Well, since you mention it – YES. No one should have a tooth in the center of their face! But in actuality, the Kevinians were followers of a REAL super creepy religious zealot . . .



Minnow’s life has revolved around strict obedience. The word of the Prophet was never to be questioned, girls were to remain uneducated and always maintain their modesty until chosen by one of the deacons (or the Prophet himself) for marriage. You know, kind of like the Duggars. When Minnow decided to rebel against the cult, things didn’t go well . . . .



And when she finally took the opportunity to escape, she found herself living in juvenile detention for one crime and being questioned by the FBI about exactly what happened to the Prophet and the compound after she fled . . .



I love YA that packs a punch and this one was a whopper. Especially when the plot is so plausible. Seriously, if the Branch Davidians and Girl Interrupted had a baby you might end up with something close to The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly. A completely unique coming of age story about a girl who learns her entire life was a lie, and that just maybe hope for the future can come from somewhere as dismal as a jail cell . . .

“Here my scars are the only part of me that could be called normal. It seems like every girl here has had their own personal Prophet.”