Thursday, March 5, 2015

This Is What You Just Put In Your Mouth? by Patrick Di Justo

22238370
3 Stars
 
This book wasn’t nearly as entertaining as I hoped it would be. But let’s face it, this review probably won’t be nearly as entertaining as I hoped it would be either. Qué será, será. I thought This Is What You Just Put In Your Mouth? would be filled with pukeable factoids about how many cockroaches we consume each year and how many parts per million of things like rat feces is the legal limit we can ingest.

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I know. I’m not right in the head. Anyway, it turns out this book is just what the title says – an ingredient list (and what those ingredients do) of a bunch of different crap we put in (or on) our bodies.

Now it’s time for the picture show!

TIWYJPIYM (me = lazy, so that title is getting abbreviated, yo) covers everything from:

Doritos . . .

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to Cool Whip . . .

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(you’re welcome)

to Easy Cheese . . .

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to eggnog . . .

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to Slim Jims . . .

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OHHHHHHHHH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to my best friend the only acceptable pumpkin-flavored ANYTHING . . .

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to Beano . . .

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to Preparation H . . .

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to flu shots. Yep, my good pal Jenny McCarthy and her “Campaign for Idiocracy” is indeed mentioned. Dear Jenny McCarthy, you are good for one thing and one thing only . . .

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to Viagra . . .

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to KY Yours + Mine Couples Lubricant . . .

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to Febreze . . .

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to Axe Body Spray . . .

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(you really didn’t think you were getting out of this one without a Mean Girls gif, did you?)

The “backstory” sections of this book were by far my favorite. And the most interesting item in the entire book? The “Artificial Log.” You know, the fake wood that burns a long time that you stick in your fireplace? You know how they crackle and pop like real tree parts? It’s BIRD SEED inside of them that makes them do that!

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Oh, there’s also a segment about heroin. This should have probably been a sad chapter, but the author subtitled it “whatchoo gonna do with all that junk” and I just laughed and laughed . . .

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Did you know heroin was once legal? Yowza! Just say no to drugs, kids. Saying no to Shelby and her book pushery isn’t quite so easy ; )

ARC provided by Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review

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