The bad news is, Dr. Ian Malcolm isn’t in Jurassic Park Volume 1: Redemption. Good news is, I don’t give a shit, so I’m gonna Goldblum the fark out of this one anyway : )
Oh, you’ll find out.
No, F*&^ YOU
Jurassic Park: Redemption picks up 13 years after we last saw the Murphy siblings. Now all grown, Lex runs Lexxcorp and has been developing some sort of super corn or some such. SNORE! Lucky for us Timmy, on the other hand, has been working on a revamping of good ol’ Granddad Hammond’s dinosaurs and his dream of opening a petting zoo filled with docile herbivores is almost ready to come true. Unfortunately Tim’s kind of an idiot and never thought others might want to cash in and re-create ALL types of dinosaurs.
It’s a good thing those people thought of adding a bunch of awesome new safety measures making the dinosaurs the super friendly sort who just want to hang out . . .
HA! Fooled you. These guys are typical baddies who want to nomnom all humans.
As per usual, a bunch of dinos manage to become free range and the T-Rex begins munching down on the local cattle (and farmers). How will the team ever track them all down again?????
Oh yeah. Giant dino turds = dinos probably nearby.
Mitchell and I both thought this would be a huge winner. Unfortunately it was just “meh.” If you have a kid who is big into dinosaurs and graphic novels, he/she will probably dig this okay. There was a lot of flippy floppy between locations and a large cast of characters which I assume was supposed to create a diversionary tactic when it came to figuring out who was the bad guy. Instead it just kind of made a big mess. And speaking of mess – I don’t know diddly shit about art, but I do know this art was not very good. (Sorry Frank Miller. I still love you the mostest.)