My infatuation actually began with another Sedaris – David’s sister Amy. Anyone who looks like this:
But prefers to get paid for looking something like this:
Is someone that I want to hang out with.
When I discovered her brother, I found there was enough love in my heart for multiple Sedaris-es.
Sadly, as much as I love dear David, it will most likely always be from afar. I have a huge phobia that if I meet a famous person that I adore, they will end up being an a$$hat. I find myself each year sitting at the computer, hand hovering over the PayPal button, but always failing to purchase a ticket to one of his book readings/signings. Not only am I fearful that David will be a jerk, but that he will also discover I’m a huge nutter. Ours would be quite the ill-fated meet/cute with me screaming things like "why won't you love me????" while he runs away responding something along the lines of "because I'm gay, you crazy bitch, which you should be well aware of since you've been my borderline stalker for years now!" In addition, I would be forced to stand in line with a bunch of strangers mouthbreathing their germy breath on me – or even worse, having the gall to engage in small talk. Just UGH!
My David and I may never meet, but I will continue to
Sidenote: This was my final selection for the Library's Winter Reading Challenge. "Stop Me If You've Read This One" was the theme this year and encouraged patrons to read books that might make them laugh. By completing my 5 books, I got a lovely little coffee mug that Mitchell promptly declared as his.
For those curious of my funny book choices for this challenge, they are as follows:
Skinny Dip by Carl Hiassen
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks by Adam Carolla
Man Up by Ross Mathews
When You Are Engulfed In Flames by David Sedaris (duh)
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. I figure I'm probably on some Federal watch list anyway, so why not mix it up a bit and let them think there might really something to be scared of ; )