Monday, December 7, 2015

I Have A Bad Feeling About This by Jeff Strand

3.5 Stars
The best thing about being a parent? BOOK FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Meet Henry Lambert – a skinny, videogame playing, dork . . . .

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who suffers from quite normal fears – like being eaten by a shark or . . . a seahorse????

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(^^^^Ewwwww! No wonder he’s afraid!!!!)

Henry’s father has decided it’s high time Henry learn a little something about life and facing his fear of the outdoors, so he finds himself being shipped off to survival camp for a couple of weeks. Once there, Henry meets the camp leader – a guy who may or may not be missing some of his marbles . . .

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and discovers the climax of his camp experience will be a (non-deadly) “Hunger Games” style of elimination game . . . .

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Little does Henry know, his last worry should be about surviving a game. He and his fellow campers will soon be fighting for their lives. Things Henry thinks might come in handy once he realizes his life is on the line?

“A pitchfork, a pickax, a lightweight lawnmower, a Doberman, a ceiling fan attached to a power source with a corn he wouldn’t trip over, ninja stars, an automobile with iron spikes on the front grille, a voodoo doll of Chad, a cow to use as a shield, three machetes tied together, a wheelbarrow filled with broken glass, Jackie Chan, a fully charged Taser, a shockingly vicious gerbil, a water pistol that contained acid instead of water (but not acid that would eat through the gun itself, which would be inconvenient), an aerodynamic wrench for throwing, a backup wrench for bashing, bottle rockets, a chainsaw that would start on the first three tugs, a gun, rotten eggs, Excalibur, a baseball bat (wooden or aluminum – no preference, a shaken-up can of Mountain Dew, one of those metal things you used to poke at burning firewood, an artificial limb (to use as a bludgeoning device, not for locomotion), better shoes, a bullwhip, a bull to whip, some variety of rocket, Captain America’s shield, Thor’s hammer, Black Widow’s custume for Monica to wear, a reliable flamethrower, a spear, an electric razor (which would do not real damage but might cause Chad to stop and think “why is he running at me with an electric razor?” which could prove to be a deadly lapse of concentration), a potted plant, an orangutan, something with poison on it, a laptop computer that he didn’t mind breaking over somebody’s head, the power to control space and time, a lengthy screwdriver, a totally badass looking piece of wood covered with razor wire and rusty nails, roller skates, a tire iron, a javelin – come to think of it, the roller skates wouldn’t be very helpful on this uneven dirt ground, so he cancelled that wish – a Model 1881 Gatling gun with the Bruce-style feed system (U.S. Patents 247,158 and 343,532), a pocketknife, a shark, and/or a scimitar.”

Things from the above-list Henry actually has????


If you have a non-book-loving middle-grader like I do who is a fan of superfuntimes like this . . . .

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I Have A Bad Feeling About This might be just the thing to make him get his read on. Plenty of action as well as humor can be found within its pages. It even gives a little reminder that girls kick just as much (if not more) ass than boys sometimes . . .

Go girls! Yay girls!
(Did you hear that in Linda Belcher’s voice???? You know you did.)

Rumor on the streets is this one is even short-listed to be a Truman nominee (a/k/a the recommended reading selections for my kid’s school) next year.

And if you’re a grown-up? Jeff Strand is best known for his horror writing, but I gotta give mad props to a guy who can write in ANY genre and make me want to read it. My favorite book by Strand is Kumquat. If you are a fan of the romcom and/or the road trip - it's a story that shouldn't be missed. I gotta give mad props to a guy who can write in any genre.

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