While it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some of my selections and have solidified my superfan status of a couple of authors. Rachel Van Dyken being one. I fell hard and fast for Van Dyken with The Consequence of Loving Colton. She just gets me. I like my romance to be flirty, to lean heavily on the comedy side of the RomCom spectrum, and to have the lovemaking not induce vomiting. Warning to all of you dirty porno lovers: This book has ZERO sex scenes. Husband says “BOOOOOOOOO!” Kelly says it don’t matter ‘cause the leading man was so farkin’ hot ol’ hubs might still get chased around the bedroom anyway. Mitchell says . . . .
SHADDUP MITCHELL! I’ll read stabby books again one of these days. Until then, I’m more than happy to have male leads like Preston in my life. He makes me wanna say . . .
Since Every Girl Does It is a romance, of course it featured some tired tropes. The main plot point this time is . . .
“People always say you need to be nice to nerds, because you might end up working for them some day. The same goes for nerdy guys who ask you out. You should be nice to them, because one day they might be smoking hot.”
Thus is the case with Preston. Four years ago Preston was a nerd in a Star Wars t-shirt and highwater Wrangler jeans who stood in front of the entire school to ask Amanda to the prom (and was promptly rejected). Fast-forward to the present and a chance encounter that has Amanda crossing paths with Preston again – this time when he has to put out a fire at a wedding Amanda is attending. You see, Preston went from totally geek to totally OHMYGODSOBLAZINGHOTMYUTERUSISGOINGTOFALLOUT . . . . errr, I mean a fireman . . .
Amanda finds out Preston has become chummy with her BFF’s hubby, so a series of meet cutes follows – culminating in a trip to Hawaii. Amanda can’t let go of the idea that Preston is just stringing her along in order to get payback from the high school rejection and has resolved that she will be spending the rest of her life as a spinster with her cat, Mrs. Butterworth . . .
She’s also the most awesome boobag in the history of drop of a hat crybabies so every time things even get close to being romantic she’s all . . .
and I couldn’t stop smiling. And that’s all you get. Read the rest for yourself and wear your pantyshields because this one might make you laugh pee.
You’re probably saying “why not 4 or 5 stars, then?” Here’s the deal. This is Van Dyken’s first book. She acknowledges that this one isn’t her strongest work, but she’s got it out there on Amazon for free (DEAR AUTHORS WHO CONTINUE TO SPAM ME: THIS IS HOW YOU FIND A FANBASE) and it’s totally worth more than zero dollars. However, there were enough typos that I started to take notice of them, some phrasing was obviously borrowed from other works (things like “social suicide,” “is he airbrushed,” “challenge accepted,” having a curly dark haired dude with green eyes and a 5’ 3” chick pose (and pass) as Brangelina) – those things all bugged. Luckily they didn’t bug much and I am firmly planted on Team Van Dyken.
NOW HURRY UP AND FINISH THE THIRD CONSEQUENCE BOOK!!!!