A Million Ways to Die in the West by Seth McFarlane

2 Stars

 

Okay okay okay. Wait just a second. Put down your torches so I can explain this rating.



WAIT!!!! Don’t do that yet either.



That’s very true, but it’s completely beside the point in this case. Let me begin my defense by saying in my house, I am the watcher of “American Dad” and “Family Guy." I’m the one who kept my children’s bedtime at 9:00 for an extra year so I could watch “Adult Swim” in peace. I’m the one who sings the “Thunder Buddy” song with the four pound sissy ratdog when he’s terrified.



I’m the one who was upset when “The Cleveland Show” got cancelled and who frequently speaks in Paul Lynd’s Roger’s voice to narrate my daily activities. In my house I’m the MacFarlane superfan and I’m telling you (without even seeing it yet) that he wrote a funny movie with “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” He touched on all the thoughts I always had whenever my Dad forced me to watch westerns with him.







Seriously, why would people ever choose the Old West as the place to hang their hat? Blech. That being said, what I read was a movie script that was poked and prodded just a titch in order to turn it into a book. (Sidenote: This started as a buddy read with my husband. He read 55 pages. TOTAL. He then waited for me to finish and asked if it got any better and never picked it up again.) While there were still some LOLz to be had, the visual element was notably absent.


(You’re welcome, ladies)

Glaringly absent, even. I mean, this is a VERY visual story.


(You’re welcome, Jeff)

Like I stated above, I’ve not yet seen the movie version. I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that I’m sure I will find it entertaining, but when it comes to offensive westerns, nobody will ever do it better than Mel Brooks.



If ANY of you buttholes dares make a commentary about my age, I’ll cut you.