Confession: My name is Kelly and I’m addicted to reading blogs. I started reading the People I Want to Punch in the Throat blog back when a certain “Overachieving Elf on the Shelf” post went viral. When I found out the author lived in the same area as me, it added even more enjoyment to some of her posts. Although I don’t still follow the blog religiously, I was excited to see a book version available and figured it would provide some hardy-hars.
Well, things didn’t work out quite as planned. A more fitting title for this book might have been First World Problems of Entitled Suburbanites. The stories in this collection attempt to point out how many a$$holes the author has to deal with on the daily. The trouble was, I didn’t find the stories to be very funny and in many of the situations I found the author to be the a$$hole rather than all of the people she was complaining out. Which would be absolutely fine – if she owned her a$$holery instead of coming off as “holier than thou” in so many of the entries. Maybe me living in the same area and being familiar/having many of the same experiences backfired and lessened my enjoyment rather than enhanced it???
The one story that had me LOLing was either the truth or a continuation in the awesomeness of the urban legend which is called “The Suburban Swinger”.
I’m not so naïve as to believe swinging doesn’t exist in fly-over country. In fact, I’ve even had an unfortunate incident where the “hubs” and I were asked to partake (trust me, if the two of us are the hot ticket on the menu, you probably want NOTHING to do with this particular club). According to People I Want to Punch in the Throat, there is a certain neighborhood known for a particularly high number of residents who might not be opposed to “swapping keys” with the neighbors. This book points out that the houses are marked with giant white landscaping boulders to either warn or welcome new *ehem* friends(?). The power of Google/Realtor.com confirmed solo white boulders in a sea of mulch exist in several of the homes currently for sale. My morbid curiosity tells me I must buy a high-powered telescope and move to this neighborhood immediately in order to ewwwwww and ahhhh over the potential grotesquery of the over 50 swinging set.
Correction: Must WIN LOTTERY and then move to this neighborhood immediately, etc., etc., etc. because the house I like had an asking price of $1,000,000. Plus I’ll have to pay someone to haul that big f*&^%$# rock out of the yard.
When it comes to blogs-to-books, this was no Hyperbole and a Half or Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, but you could definitely do worse. I’m sure many will find this to be hilarious. It just wasn’t my particular cup of tea.