Wednesday, July 30, 2014

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters by Andrew Shaffer

5 Stars
This week’s forecast? Increasing heat and a 100% chance of Sharknados. No, seriously – today is Sharknado 2: TheSecond One day!

For decades movies have been describing all the ways terrifying beasts and various forces of nature can kill us. This book fills the populous in on the truth of all the unnatural disasters that could (and most likely will) befall the average human in the near future. Let’s face it, we aren’t all equipped with utility belts that will help us defeat any foe like Batman.

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters reminds us to live by the motto Semper Paratus - “Always Ready”. After all, not all sharks want to be your friend.

Most of them are cold blooded murderers and, let’s face it, not everyone can afford to get a bigger boat.

Don’t think this book has pigeonholed itself to only dealing with the Sharknado problem, though. Oh no no no, this survival guide covers everything from


to Mongolian Death Worms

to Antdemics

to Mega Pythons

to Redneck Gators

to a Beeclipse

to Elektrokraken attacks

(Helpful hint when it comes to surviving an Elektrokraken attack: Wear Crocs. Although they are an eyesore, the rubbery, waterproof Croc will insulate you from electric shock and may just save your life (assuming the Elektrokraken doesn’t opt to just bite your head off). No longer will my Croc wearing be limited to the privacy of my backyard. I shall go forth and prosper in my neon yellow crime against fashion!!!!!)

This book is a must read for anyone who wants to survive when nature finally decides to fight back. I will continue trying to perfect my own personal defense arsenal (frickin’ sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads)

but for now and up until the day I finally feel 100% safe, I will continue using the one tried and true method of survival:

Sidenote to everyone who will be enjoying Sharknado 2: TheSecond One this evening: I hope it’s just as awful wonderful as the first and when your head hits the pillow tonight you all have visions of Sugar Ray dancing in your head : )

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