Monday, October 16, 2017

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green


15837671
2 Stars

My advance apologies to Alissa for the lack of turtle gifs, but really my feelings on this one can be summed up quite easily with one image alone . . . .



It appears I don’t drink the John Green Kool Aid anymore. And obviously it must be me because this follows the standard Green formula of smarter-than-the-average-bear, straight, white kids navigating puberty with some sort of debilitating disease thrown in for good measure. I’ll take partial blame for having my hopes set on this sort of experience . . . .



But when the blurb tells me this highly anticipated novel centers around a few kids and a missing recluse a la D.B. Cooper, nostalgia can’t help but kick in. What I got instead was 300 pages of being inside of Aza’s head with not much story. Bonus was I got to feel like a huge dickhead the entire time I was reading because I COULD. NOT. STAND. this child. I know I know I’m a heartless bully, but FFS, you have like THE MOST SUPPORTIVE MOTHER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE, a best friend who accepts you with all of your quirks, a potential boyfriend who YOU keep giving mixed messages to so he’s totally confused whether you’re just buds or something more and to top it all off you acknowledge you’re kind of crazy (do not get offended, crazy people are the first to use that term as Aza and everyone around her does here), but you also only kinda sorta take your medicine sometimes. Nope. I ain’t doin’ it.

Here’s the quote everyone should take from this one . . . .

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life – “it goes on.” And you go on, too, when the current is with you and when it isn’t.

^^^That right there is the truth. The world won’t stop (or even slow down) just because you need it to. Use your support system. Take your medicine. Make it an easier place for you to navigate. You might just find it’s not all bad.

Now let me hightail it on outta here before the superfans find me . . . .




ORIGINAL "REVIEW":

Part of me is a little terrified to read this because I ain't as sweet as I used to be so I'm not sure I'll still drink the John Green Kool Aid ..... but since I've been told I "suck turtles " it's almost like he wrote this just for me!

Speaking of turtles, I found a pic of Shelby's ....

 

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