![25425999](https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1450695188l/25425999.jpg)
4 Stars
I picked up Kaptara for a multitude of reasons: (1) The liburrrrrry didn’t have Howard the Duck; (2) John Waters blurbed it; and (3) Sam hated it. Now, I don’t make a habit of requesting things Sam hates, but since he hates almost everything sometimes it happens. It also confirmed that I most definitely have the mentality of a 12-year old because I thought this was full of hardy-hars.
It started on the very first page . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764323._SY540_.jpg)
Between the uniforms and the “get your pump on” commentary only one thing came to mind . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764324.gif)
So it didn’t end up being a story about an ambiguously gay duo, but I still chuckled at even non-funny things since my mind never leaves the gutter . . .
![](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764325.jpg)
Turns out those asteroids are pretty bad mammajammas which cause the ship to crash on an alien planet where our MC Keith is nearly murdered by a dude named Skullthor . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764326.gif)
Luckily a Khal Drogo looking mah fah is there to save the day and bring our MC Keith back to his queen . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764327.gif)
Unfortunately, he’s also joined by the queen’s son . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764328.gif)
And learns that Earth will be destroyed unless Kaptara does something about it. His reaction????
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764329.gif)
(ORDER THE FARKIN’ HOWARD THE DUCK ALREADY, LIBRARIAN!)
Then some stuff and things happen that cause Keith to rethink things and join in on the good fight. He gets a chance to meet some of my relatives . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764330._SX540_.png)
And turns tricks on them when they ask for help murdering Gandalf . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764331.gif)
Other stuff and things happen, including Weekend at Bernie’s references and an offer for a guy who looked like this . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764332.gif)
To aid Keith’s sleep by using his “love hand” . . . .
![](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764333.gif)
Oh god. I love lowbrow humor.
So you might lose a few brain cells while reading this, but come on laughing is good! It’s summertime - Lower your standards and have some fun : )
It started on the very first page . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764323._SY540_.jpg)
Between the uniforms and the “get your pump on” commentary only one thing came to mind . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764324.gif)
So it didn’t end up being a story about an ambiguously gay duo, but I still chuckled at even non-funny things since my mind never leaves the gutter . . .
![](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764325.jpg)
Turns out those asteroids are pretty bad mammajammas which cause the ship to crash on an alien planet where our MC Keith is nearly murdered by a dude named Skullthor . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764326.gif)
Luckily a Khal Drogo looking mah fah is there to save the day and bring our MC Keith back to his queen . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764327.gif)
Unfortunately, he’s also joined by the queen’s son . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764328.gif)
And learns that Earth will be destroyed unless Kaptara does something about it. His reaction????
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764329.gif)
(ORDER THE FARKIN’ HOWARD THE DUCK ALREADY, LIBRARIAN!)
Then some stuff and things happen that cause Keith to rethink things and join in on the good fight. He gets a chance to meet some of my relatives . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1468955292i/19764330._SX540_.png)
And turns tricks on them when they ask for help murdering Gandalf . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764331.gif)
Other stuff and things happen, including Weekend at Bernie’s references and an offer for a guy who looked like this . . .
![Palm Springs commercial photography](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764332.gif)
To aid Keith’s sleep by using his “love hand” . . . .
![](https://d.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1468955292ra/19764333.gif)
Oh god. I love lowbrow humor.
So you might lose a few brain cells while reading this, but come on laughing is good! It’s summertime - Lower your standards and have some fun : )
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