Monday, February 8, 2016

Motorcycle Man by Kristen Ashley

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4 Stars
 
If you follow me, you’ll know I put out a “gimmegimme” for a motorcycle book after watching the new television series Outsiders. Basically, I wanted to drink wine out of a box and read a book starring this guy . . . .

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#boooiiinnnnngggggggg

Mrs. Joseph was the first to reply and boy did she provide a good one. The basics of the story are as follows: Tyra quit her old job and has been in hot pursuit of a new one. She also decided she needed to let a little of her inner freak out and bangs a motorcycle dude the night before she starts her new gig. When she shows up for her first day on the job things don’t go quite as planned when she is greeted by new boss, Tack . . .

“I do not work with bitches who’ve had my dick in their mouth.”

Offended by him yet? Good. Get the eff outta here ‘cause he’s mine anyway. Tack is all of the following . . .

“Coarse, vulgar, uncouth . . . rude.”

And I was singing “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” because that’s exactly what I was hoping for. As I said in my plea for porn, to quote the late and great Aaliyah “sometimes I’m goody goody, but right now I’m naughty naughty” . . .

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I was looking for a leading male who was exactly the way Tack described himself . . .

“I ain’t no choir boy.”

Nope, but he sho ‘nuff made me say Hallelujah a time or twelve. Holy hizzle . . .

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I started this book not giving any shits if Tack was a chauvinist or womanizer or criminal or whatever else could be awful. I don’t get offended easily and I sure as hell wasn’t going to allow myself to get offended by a character who very easily could have been written as offensive on purpose. Imagine my delight when I found out not only was the Chaos motorcycle club different from the stereotype . . .

“We don’t transport drugs. We don’t offer enforcement. We don’t sell tail. We don’t sell guns. We build cars and sell auto supplies.”

But Tack was different than the stereotype as well . . .

“You take my hand again like you did that night, I’ll guide you through the nightmare. We’ll make it to the other side and I promise, along the way, you’ll enjoy the ride.”

This was one hell of a ride. Kristen Ashley, you are my official hotline bling . . .

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I’m withholding the final star because Motorcycle Man did get a weeeeee bit long in the tooth when it came to the make up/break up B.S. (seriously, just STFU and bang him ya dumbass ‘cause he’s smokin’ hot) and because I have high hopes that things will just keep getting better (I’ve already got the first in the Chaos series cued up and ready to go). Now who’s ready for some of my sloppy seconds with Tack????



ORIGINAL "REVIEW":

Mrs. Joseph assures me this mechanical journal will teach me all about the complexities of the modern internal combustion engine . . .

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Zoom zoom.

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