Still here? Alrighty then . . .
On motherf-ing page THREE we have our meet/cute where the girl literally runs into the boy and I discover this story will be one of my most hated of all tropes – a “superbadawful happened long long ago that new love interest will magically fix with all of his wonderfulness as well as his magic penis.”
By page thirty girl and boy have discovered they have class together, have been paired up as partners in said class, realized they are also neighbors (how convenient), and that boy must be a werewolf because he’s always half naked . . .
And while we don’t learn exactly what the superbadawful was, we do learn that the MC moved across the country in order to get away from the rumor mill in her hometown and that the alleged perpetrator’s name was Blaine . . .
We then run through 11,842 pages of NOTHING! Well okay, not nothing. We have a female lead who obviously has some form of PTSD and severe trust issues, but who is always 100% willing to put herself in potentially unsafe situations by hanging out solo with the new neighbor. Uhhhhh, ever heard of Ted Bundy you dumb twat? Just ‘cause he’s good looking doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in murdering you while pretending you’re going to be working on Astronomy homework together. We also have a male MC who has a reputation for being a real panty dropper and proves he is such by calling our female lead “sweetheart” (vomit) constantly and by making her eggs on Sundays without even asking for a handjob first . . .
But there’s still a LOT of nothing except pining away and what had to be a horrific case of blueballs which eventually culminates in the big moment when the dude finally got his payoff in the form of our leading lady’s V-Card. (Turns out only her butt virginity was taken from her by the perp, so score one for the new boy-next-door *eye roll*.) Which leads to the best moment of the entire book – UNPROTECTED FIRST TIME SEX. Oh, what a joy that was to read . . .
This book was a pile of shit. It not only wasted WAAAAAY too much of my precious reading time on a bunch of filler, but it was the worst example of what “romance” should be based on. Dear Authors, STOP romanticizing rape and making a big ol’ peen be the cure-all for these f*&^ed up girls and their mental problems. As for this particular story????
The worst part is I really have no one to blame but myself since I totally had a “challenge accepted” moment and agreed to buddy read this turd. Thanks to my girl Karlene for suffering along with me . . . .
And to you, Dino Jess . . .
Soooooooooooooo many baby reindeer were murdered because of you. I mean, just look at what I had to do in order to regain my happy . . .
I hope you’re pleased with yourself.
The things I let my so-called "friends" talk me into. Give me a second to prepare myself for this . . .
Annnnnnnnnnnnd let the very appropriately timed Friday the 13th buddy-read with Jess and Karly commence!