Sunday, February 22, 2015

Painless by S.A. Harazin

1 Star
I was having such a good run with YA books . . . and then I requested an ARC of Painless . . .

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You'd think having a main character with CIPA - a disease that makes it so instead of things like this happening . . .

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things like this happen instead . . .

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would make for an interesting book. Unfortunately that was not the case with Painless.

Let me start with the good stuff . . .

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Oh yeah, there wasn't any.

This is a prime example of why I wish my crazy brain would allow me to quit a book. It was horrible - the writing was so amateur, the characters were undeveloped and one-dimensional, not to mention the main "issue" at hand was whether or not the MC, David, would be allowed to continue living on his own should his grandmother die or he would have to go to an assisted living facility. David was 18 and therefore legally an adult, he WAS NOT mentally handicapped in any way (although the simplistic writing style made him seem like he was about 9 years old), his life expectancy was THREE so no one really expected him to live to be old and gray, and he was wealthy. There's NO WAY anyone could make him move to a group home. The story was filled with "conflict" upon "conflict" that instead of developing into plot twists that developed and sparked my interest were instead resolved instantaneously (and generally on the same freaking page where they began).

Here are some examples so I don't get trolled by people saying all I do is "write a picture book" and don't back-up my opinions:

1. David (the MC) has a personal assistant that is supposed to do his best to keep David from croaking. Said personal assistant is in a band. David would like to be in said band. Therefore, an additional character/bandmate conveniently dies in a car accident freeing up a spot. Note: ALLLLLLL of this activity happens within two pages.

2. David's grandmother dies and her horrible sister comes to loot check on everything. She accuses David of giving his grandmother an overdose of pain medication and conducting a "mercy killing," but the grandmother's nurse finds the full pill bottle under the bed clearing his name. Again, this ALLLLLLL takes place over a couple page span.

3. A side effect of David's medical condition is he can't regulate his body temperate. He and his assistant get stranded on the side of the road on a 98 degree day. He fears his temperature is about to the point where he will seize out when a van stops and the driver just happens to have a couple of gallons of water to dump in the radiator. I mean, this is all just so ridiculously convenient and this time it ALLLLLL happens in just one page.

I could post at least a dozen more examples, but I'm bored with this review so I can only imagine how you people reading it feel.

Out of the entire book there was ONE good quote:

"God shouldn't allow a person to die until they've seen the sunrise over the ocean," Luna says. "And at least a hundred other miracles."

Oh wait, I take that back. There's another quote I liked:

"From the look on her face, you'd think she was reading the worst book ever."

Obviously I liked that one for a different reason : )

When 1 Star reviews are posted, reviewers often get accused of being "angry." To put it bluntly, we are. I have over 600 books on my to-read list. I don't like wasting my time something terrible. That doesn't mean I have it out for the author, though.

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