My first superhero graphic novel review. It’s like diving right into shark infested waters. Please be gentle and keep in mind that I hold zero belief that anyone should ever take my reviews seriously. Period. But even more so when it comes to this one.
As I said, this is my first foray into the unchartered waters of the world of Batman other than through television and film. I chose Batman: The Dark Knight Returns for two reasons – I’m a Frank Miller fan and . . .
Yep. I’ve run the gamut with the a lot of you through this Batman . . .
and this one . . .
and . . .
but this one . . .
and even this one . . .
Many claim all of the above were made possible because of this story. I’m obviously not an expert, so I have no clue if that’s true, but I’m going with it because that makes my first Batman selection so much cooler.
So why the “meh” rating? Wellllll, there are a few reasons.
First, Batman’s voice. I realize Batman has been out of commission for quite some time at the onset of this story and he has to work out the kinks while battling evil, but did his voice have to sound so much like this guy????
Miller left me having a chicken and egg moment for quite some time with that one.
Second, the artwork. Although sometimes Frank Miller’s simplistic artsy-fartsy style that I enjoy really showed on the page . . .
and occasionally there were striking full-page images that kind of knocked my socks off . . .
Unfortunately, there was also an abundance of pages with half-assed “television screens” taking place of actual art.
Speaking of those t.v. screens, that brings me to my final issue - the muddy storyline. Batman takes a back-up role to all of the ranty news reports discussing various political stances. (Sidenote to address those rants: This story was written nearly 30 years ago and the social injustices discussed in the storyline are the same ones happening today. FFS – get your shit together, America!) It got to be sooooo repetitive – almost like entire pages were copied/pasted. Between the news reports, Batman moaning about his aches and pains, and the bad guy mutants reminding me how they were going to “raze Gotham” and “rape the women” and “bathe in Gotham’s blood” every third page I found my attention wandering more than a time or two.
All that being said, there were some good points. The obvious being my familiarity with the basic story and Frank Miller. But also? The cameos. They were a fun little Easter egg hunt. Everyone from Letterman . . . .
to Ronald Reagan and Chris Christie (?) and . . . Hank Hill (?????) . . .
to Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves . . .
I keeed, I keeeed.
Leaving my final experience with Batman: The Dark Knight Returns as definitely not one of the worst things I’ve ever subjected myself to.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering how a super professional comic book aficionado like myself prepares for a review like this, here’s a glimpse of my little world ; )
First, make sure you show you can prove you are a legit nerd by gathering your various Batman Pop Vinyls together . . . .
Then take one of your besties shopping for some Batman gear . . .
(Dear Hot Topic, you can start sending me free crap whenever you feel like it in exchange for all these endorsements.)
Third, enlist the help of your resident Dark Knight to assist you in making sure you are providing well-thought out opinions . . .
And finally, humiliate the other butthole who lives in your house and refuses to let you read anything containing colored or slick pages because he insists on laying on them all the time by making him wear a
See what happens when you act an ass, Django? I share your punishment with all of the interwebs.
One final note: What’s up with the nipples on those mutants???
Do they sit around breastfeeding each other all day when they aren’t raping women and bathing in their blood???