(^^^^You had to know I was going to go there)
I have been able to avoid this ever since it was released because I just knew in my heart of hearts it wasn’t going to be for me. But then I saw the flippin’ Netflix movie commercial and I’m totally that bitch who has to read the book before she watches the movie so I went ahead and put it on hold in hopes that I could view the film during my Christmas vacay. I don’t really know anything about the movie, except that it features an ensemble cast and takes place during the holiday season. My hopes are that it is something like this . . . .
Or . . .
Or more realistically typical teenage fare such as . . . . .
And yes I’m totally the target demographic for that last movie and that is why it is one of my favorite pick-me-ups.
Before beginning this collection I perused my friends’ ratings to officially lower my expectations and lemme just say that Erin's first line is spot on. I haven’t seen this much product placement since . . . . .
Enjoy these novellas with a venti peppermint mocha frappé and a side order of loaded hash browns!
#1 The Jubilee Express by Maureen Johnson
Kind of sad that I could relate to the parents in this one because I just this year discovered . . . . .
And it’s not too much of a stretch to see me landed in the slammer attempting to acquire a limited edition “Shitter is Full” figurine if only 10 were to ever be released.
Unfortunately, this one featured a real judgey d-bag for the leading lady and all I could think throughout the entire story was . . . . .
#2 – John Green’s A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle (a/k/a the only reason people would ever by this book)
When Tobin’s parents get stranded at a convention in Boston and the promise of a bevy of cheerleaders and potentially a keg of beer await them at the local Waffle House, he and his friends JP and The Duke load themselves (and a Twister mat) up in old Carla for an epic quest through the snow.
Featuring typical John Green too cool for school types with a tiny little boybearpig of a bestie that you can’t help but love, generation butthurt will find plenty of things to be offended by, but I was raised by John Hughes and this had some of his vibes and was 100% the Christmas Can’t Hardly Wait I was hoping for. I’m most definitely an imbiber of the Green Kool-Aid so I’d give this one 4 Stars.
#3 The Patron Saint of Pigs by Lauren Myracle
About Addie – a self-centered buttmunch who wants her boyfriend to change for her because she is so deserving of grand gestures and for her friends to all accept her never being there any time they need her because she's a speshul snowflake and they should automatically treat her like the princess she believes herself to be. Basically . . . .
Netflix has not failed me with teenage romcom books turned films as of yet, so I assume I’ll love the movie.