Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Wild Like the Wind by Kristen Ashley


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2 Stars

In case you aren’t familiar with this series, here is a gifified Cliffs’ Notes to catch you up. Each of them starts with a male and female lead who are not meant to be together. It may be for a hate-to-love trope, or an ill-fated romance or (in this case) because a relationship between the two is strictly verboten, but whatever the case they can’t be together. Which then pretty much immediately morphs into the first 40-50% of the books going a little something like this . . . .







And will have your kids overhearing words they shouldn’t know and you coming up with fast-on-your-feet alternate definitions . . . .



Eventually they stop being only a bangfest and you get a little emotion and depth and then they end in a happily-ever-after and you go to the library either the next day or the next month to get the next one because . . . . .



I’m not even kidding either. I mean, I pretty much creamed my jeans over Motorcycle Man which was the jumping off point that spurred this Chaos series, but none of the other books particularly knocked my socks off. I keep reading ‘em though! It’s been a couple of years since my last foray into Ashley’s motorbiker world, but the time change totally fucks me up and my job changed again a couple of weeks ago and Billy’s book hadn’t been released yet (you know what I’m talking ‘bout if you are a pornohead) and I should have just bought Crux Untamed, but this was available at the library and I needed some trash so I figured what the hell.

I had told myself I wasn’t going to read this because I wasn’t a super fan of the leading male throughout the series. Not only is it hard to picture anyone other than my husband . . . .



When they have the same name, but this dude was like literally a fucking nutcase who slit dude’s throats for a living, but since I know how these KA stories go, I knew he’d go from crazy to . . . .



In about 3.2 seconds.

What I didn’t know was that Ashley is a bit out of touch with all forms of humanity and she would present the leading lady with long black hair down to her butt and an excessive amount of bone necklaces and feathers and bullshit to let us know just how Native American she was . . . .



(If you didn’t think I was going to take that easy layup of a joke, you obviously don’t know me very well.)

I also didn’t know that the reason these two were forbidden from being together was because her husband was murdered and a “brother” can’t ever bang another brother’s old lady. WTF?!?!?!?!?



So FUCKING 18 YEARS goes by and then they finally admit they have feelings. But they have to keep it secret and will just be fuck buddies and then will still keep it secret even though he is pretty much moved into her house and then he has to get the shit beat out of him by anyone who thinks they shouldn’t be together due to this absolutely assbackward mindset where apparently you are still cheating on your spouse even though he’s already rotted in the grave for fucking eternity before moving on. And THEN to top everything off it has to end with them having a baby – despite her being in her mid-40s and having not one but TWO grown ass men children already because EVERY old broad like me just dreams of starting all over again for another 18 years . . . .



JFC – not everything has to end with a baby. Or even getting married. They could have just shacked up for the rest of their lives and that would have been good enough for me.

Oh, and one final thing: The cartel B.S. is still hinted about sporadically in this one. I assume this whole sub-story will come to a head in the final book, but what a freaking waste of time and pages it has been so far. Either shit or get off the pot already.

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