Thursday, June 20, 2019

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren

3.5 Stars

When some bad seafood leaves everyone in attendance at Ami and Dane’s wedding saying . . . .

There’s no way Ami, the queen of freebies (*cough maybe when it comes to a buffet, you should go ahead and fork over some cash cough*), is going to let her honeymoon trip to Hawaii go to waste. Enter Olive and Ethan, Ami and Dane’s siblings. Lured by a ginormous hotel suite and an itinerary packed with everything from ziplining to snorkeling to the obvious spa treatments, the two figure there’s little chance they will have to, you know, interact with each other during the 10-day getaway. That is, until they run into Olive’s brand new boss and his wife one night and Dane’s ex-fiancé and her new fiancé the next. Then????

I absolutely looooooooooooooooooooooooved this book for the first 67% (that’s a whole lotta percents). It was everything I want in a pretend relationship trope and to top it off it was absolutely hilarious. I loved the snarky interactions and dialogue between Olive and Ethan and I loved it even more when some truth uhhhhhh popped up while they were pretending to be newlyweds . . . .

“What are you doing?” I ask under my breath.
“God, I don’t know,” he whispers, pained. “Just go with it.”
“I can feel your penis.”

And even though it took a loooooooooooooooooong time for these two to figure out they should take it to pound town, it didn’t result in me looking like this . . . .

Since I was having such a good time.

But then a bunch of drama with the siblings came up and drama about Olive’s job and . . . .

I think I read like three of these authors’ books before I figured out they are a writing duo and I think all three of them have had some extra summin’ summin’ that has caused them to go off the rails for me. I would be curious to know if one of them brings the funny and the other brings the shit I hate angst. If that’s the case I think I might be five starring a solo act.

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