Thursday, September 21, 2017

Martha Stewart's Slow Cooker


33357295
5 Stars

If you follow my reviews you know that I generally try to make something from any new cookbook I receive. This one actually arrived a couple of weeks ago and I even have all of the ingredients ready to make this . . . . .



But Mother Nature has decided to be a real turdburger and it’s been about 12,000 degrees with 1,000,000% humidity since it got here so I’m saying screw it and my family is living on cereal until the heat wave breaks. (If you’re just dying with anticipation to see what kind of godawful concoction I can churn out, you’ll have to settle for the Great Goat Sacrifice of 2016. Oh, and YOU’RE WELCOME Cubs fans – my family’s misery is what ended a 108 losing streak and 71-year-old curse.)

Tomorrow is the first official day of Fall and *crossing fingers* sweater weather will be here any second. Of course, with sweater weather brings my most hated basic white girl obsession of them all . . . .



But today we’re going to ignore all that and focus on the glory which is Martha.

I’ve been a Martha Stewart fan since Jesus was a toddler. That being said, I’ll be the first to admit that back in the day I didn’t really tune in to her show for the food – since it was super uppity and I am super trailer parky – but I luuuuuuuuurved all the dang craft segments. Martha is the reason I know what a “cloche” is and how I should shove a bunch of miniature shit in one in order to make a tiny “winter wonderland.” Speaking of tiny, just when I thought I was really kicking ass with my “Hobbit Haven” . . . . .



Martha one-ups me by making a fairy garden with Mary Effing Poppins!



All the above is to say that I’ve been a superfan since way back when Martha came off with this kind of air about her . . . .



But when she came out of the pokey???? Now that is a girl I want to hang with . . . .



I’ll be 100% honest and admit I was a tad bit apprehensive at the idea of Martha Stewart tackling a crockpot recipe book since she isn’t what you’d necessarily call relatable. However, the very first line addressed the giant pink elephant in the room . . .

“To tell the honest truth, I have never, ever, really used a slow cooker.”

Awesome. OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T! You’re Martha (Fucking) Stewart FFS! Since she’s Martha (Expletive Deleted) Stewart, she knocked this one out of the ballpark. Her (way more advanced palate than my family’s) had her attempting things like slow cooker versions of Vietnamese Short-ribs or Chicken Tagine, while also (maybe surprisingly) going with tons of basics such as . . . . .



Or . . . .



It has stuff my kids would happily gobble down . . . .



As well as stuff they wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, but that I will eat when they piss me off in order to fart them out of the house . . . .



Basically, obtaining a Martha Stewart item for zero dollars was pretty much my only bucket list item when it comes to reviewer copies. I am so happy it did not disappoint. It had everything I want in a cookbook – pretty pictures, ingredients that are either already in my pantry or easily obtainable and most importantly EDIBLE recipes. And really, the $26.00 price point isn’t horrible either compared to other, lesser-known, foodie books I’ve obtained in the past.

Endless thanks to the publisher for making all of my wildest dreams come true!

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