Monday, January 9, 2017

The Traveling Vampire Show by Richard Laymon


613605
1 Star

I actually read this several weeks go, but never got around to reviewing it because I knew I had to get prepared for the backlash first . . . .



Because apparently I read it wrong. But guess what?????



The premise here was a good one – Dwight and his friends Slim and Rusty see flyers all over town advertising a “Traveling Vampire Show.” The hint of danger and an “18 and over” requirement are enough to lead the trio into temptation and the remainder of the story is what takes place during one day leading up to the big shebang and their chance to meet the mysterious Valeria . . . .



Here’s the problem. The first 50 pages or so were flying right by. Many of you know I have a kid who is required to read, but hates to read. We’ve had some luck with contemporary fiction and I thought if things didn’t get too stabby this might be okay for him (please note I had read ZERO reviews/knew nothing of this book except people liked it). The three kids wandering from one side of town to another for an adventure is pretty much my kid’s bucket list of a dream Saturday. But then we got to the part where there was a bit of danger and the MC Dwight decided to go borrow a truck and I was like . . . .



The story immediately stopped working. Even with the “gather around children and let me tell you a story from when I was a kid and why don’t you have some Werther’s Originals while you’re listening” narration style I just couldn’t wrap my brain around these being sixteen year old children. I was thinking they were 12-14 max.

And then there was the non-stop boner talk. I realize that teenage boys often pitch tents in their pants, but the story became so hypersexual with more focus on premature ejaculation than plot that there was no charm left to any of the characters. Especially Rusty . . . .



Which all led up to a pervert's wet dream of an ending I knew was coming and a reading experience I couldn’t wait to be over.

I know I've really gone against the grain here, but save you breath if you plan on telling me I’m not allowed to have a differing opinion. Also, I’m already in my bag of shame so I won’t be able to see the comments anyway . . . .

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