3 Stars
“Love breaks your heart, fucks you up – perfect, all-consuming chaos.”
Last week my friend Courtney’s review of a Kristen Callihan popped up on my feed and I decided to treat myself to a porny Saturday while watching my kid lose at baseball. As usual the library didn’t have a copy of the book I went looking for. However, being that the porny librarian is the best of all the librarians Idol was . . . . but there was a waiting list. That cover alone made me all like . . . .
So I decided to put my name on the list and opted to read a freebie that literally had the word Fuck in the title at the game instead because I am mother of the year. Then I read another porno on Sunday in order keep the Sabbath day holy. When Monday came around I saw I had a notification waiting for me that this was ready for checkout and, well . . . . . .
Shit happens.
Per the tale above, I didn’t really have any clue what I was going to be reading. Good cover/recognition of the author name is pretty much all I needed. When I read the synopsis I thought this would be one of those small town girl meets big rock star, makes all the sexuals, has some drama because of course they have to have some drama and then lives happily ever after. This one took a turn I wasn’t really expecting with regarding to the storyline and I’m still not real sure whether I liked it or not so I’m sticking with 3 Stars. Now I’ll explain how I’m a failure so you can see this should remain firmly on your TBR if it’s there.
#1 – The meet/cute wasn’t cute.
#2 – Obligatory horrible name. This time? Liberty Bell . . . .
#3 – Dude is supposed to be the biggest music star in the universe and while I wanted to picture someone delicious such as . . . .
My nemesis brain kept telling me “no, dummy, THIS guy is the biggest star on the planet” . . . .
Ew.
At some point the comparison to Chris Cornell’s voice was used, but sadly I never found him to be attractive either . . . . .
#4 – On the 7th day, God created Google. If I choose to read a rock star porno I don’t want to be told “Man in the Box is a classic Alice in Chains song” and I REALLY don’t want to hear how supposed rock gods only know about Sinead O’Connor after seeing “her Nothing Compares 2 U video during some ‘90s rockumentary.” If the reader doesn’t know these things, they should look them up instead of . . . .
#5 – (Here’s where things really go off the rails, kids.) I had just watched the highly underrated film Popstar: Never Stop Stopping so every single time Killian and Libby talked about music magic the only lyrics that played in my head were “she wanted to fuck me like the U.S. Government fucked Bin Laden” . . . . .
As you can see, I am clearly the failure and not the book. On the bright side, there were loads of hot sexuals (hehehehe loads - that’s what she said) which will certain leave most readers declaring . . . .
Unlike most female leads, Libby was pretty excellent . . .
“She’s like a little Kate Hudson. Only not as blond. Or as perky, thank God.”
There was even reference to a little summin’ summin’ that sent me down this spiral to begin with in the form of a sexy haircutting scene . . . .
“Fine. Cut it short.”
Really, it’s like pulling teeth.
“A Channing Tatum maybe?”
One dark brow quirks.
“You know, Magic Mike?”
Oh, I know Magic Mike alright . . . . .
But on this note I’m going to follow the Imagine Dragons and declare “I’m going back to my roots” and leaving the pornos behind . . . . for now - because I'm DEFINITELY reading the next one in the series about the super hot British manager. Come to momma, Scottie . . . . .
Last week my friend Courtney’s review of a Kristen Callihan popped up on my feed and I decided to treat myself to a porny Saturday while watching my kid lose at baseball. As usual the library didn’t have a copy of the book I went looking for. However, being that the porny librarian is the best of all the librarians Idol was . . . . but there was a waiting list. That cover alone made me all like . . . .
So I decided to put my name on the list and opted to read a freebie that literally had the word Fuck in the title at the game instead because I am mother of the year. Then I read another porno on Sunday in order keep the Sabbath day holy. When Monday came around I saw I had a notification waiting for me that this was ready for checkout and, well . . . . . .
Shit happens.
Per the tale above, I didn’t really have any clue what I was going to be reading. Good cover/recognition of the author name is pretty much all I needed. When I read the synopsis I thought this would be one of those small town girl meets big rock star, makes all the sexuals, has some drama because of course they have to have some drama and then lives happily ever after. This one took a turn I wasn’t really expecting with regarding to the storyline and I’m still not real sure whether I liked it or not so I’m sticking with 3 Stars. Now I’ll explain how I’m a failure so you can see this should remain firmly on your TBR if it’s there.
#1 – The meet/cute wasn’t cute.
#2 – Obligatory horrible name. This time? Liberty Bell . . . .
#3 – Dude is supposed to be the biggest music star in the universe and while I wanted to picture someone delicious such as . . . .
My nemesis brain kept telling me “no, dummy, THIS guy is the biggest star on the planet” . . . .
Ew.
At some point the comparison to Chris Cornell’s voice was used, but sadly I never found him to be attractive either . . . . .
#4 – On the 7th day, God created Google. If I choose to read a rock star porno I don’t want to be told “Man in the Box is a classic Alice in Chains song” and I REALLY don’t want to hear how supposed rock gods only know about Sinead O’Connor after seeing “her Nothing Compares 2 U video during some ‘90s rockumentary.” If the reader doesn’t know these things, they should look them up instead of . . . .
#5 – (Here’s where things really go off the rails, kids.) I had just watched the highly underrated film Popstar: Never Stop Stopping so every single time Killian and Libby talked about music magic the only lyrics that played in my head were “she wanted to fuck me like the U.S. Government fucked Bin Laden” . . . . .
As you can see, I am clearly the failure and not the book. On the bright side, there were loads of hot sexuals (hehehehe loads - that’s what she said) which will certain leave most readers declaring . . . .
Unlike most female leads, Libby was pretty excellent . . .
“She’s like a little Kate Hudson. Only not as blond. Or as perky, thank God.”
There was even reference to a little summin’ summin’ that sent me down this spiral to begin with in the form of a sexy haircutting scene . . . .
“Fine. Cut it short.”
Really, it’s like pulling teeth.
“A Channing Tatum maybe?”
One dark brow quirks.
“You know, Magic Mike?”
Oh, I know Magic Mike alright . . . . .
But on this note I’m going to follow the Imagine Dragons and declare “I’m going back to my roots” and leaving the pornos behind . . . . for now - because I'm DEFINITELY reading the next one in the series about the super hot British manager. Come to momma, Scottie . . . . .
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