Monday, March 7, 2016

Curvy by Alexa Riley

29245689
3 Stars
 
After being gifted the bounty which was Trailer Park Virgin (what a way to pop my Alexa Riley cherry. Holy schnikes!), I was all about returning the favor and hooking my girl up with Riley’s latest . . .

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Unfortunately it didn’t work out quite as well for me as it did for Shelby. I didn’t hate it, though, so don’t get your panties all in a twist. Plus, on the bright side my lack of enjoyment ends up being a win for all y’all since the moment I read the word “curvy” only one leading lady came to mind . . .

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“Can you be obsessed with someone just from a picture?”

The answer for Flynn Long is a most definite HAIL YES when he takes a gander at Cali Carr’s modeling book. Once Flynn lays eyes on Cali, he knows he has to have her – in every sense of the word. He’s willing to pay whatever price it takes in order for Cali to be one of the models for his new lingerie line. Flynn most definitely knows that . . .

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Lucky for Flynn, Cali feels the same sparks flow between them and once the photo shoot is over she is totally down to . . .

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That’s where the story kind of lost me. First, with the “erotic dinner for two” which consisted of Flynn feeding Cali CHILI DOGS AND TATER TOTS. OMG so much laughing. Also, I’ll be making chili dogs and tater tots for dinner tonight if any of you want to come over. Don’t put that kind of imagery in a chubby girl’s mind and think she AIN’T gonna pick up the fixins on her next trip to the grocery story. Just note that I am more than capable of feeding myself and most definitely AM NOT interested on sitting on anyone’s lap while I eat. Buuuuuuuuut, since Cali is unlike me in every way except for build, she was all . . .

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And just couldn’t wait to lose her V Card to the hunky billionaire. Once again, didn’t quite work for me. I mean dude SERIOUSLY liked to nom on the ol’ LOLCAT if you know what I’m talking about. To the point where even my ladybud was like ‘nuffs enough, bro . . .

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But again, Cali’s reaction was quite the opposite . . . .

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What Cheryl is trying to say is #sploosh.

I think my expectations were a little too high on this one. The disclaimer did a great job of warning me about the instalove, but the extra cheese apparently wasn’t of the spray variety and it just made me feel gassy instead. It’ll probably work great for everyone else, though, and there’s definitely plenty of worse things you could waste a buck on.

ORIGINAL "REVIEW":

Because there's more to life than trailer park virgins and fat chicks are wicked sexy . . .

 

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